I can feel it. Clawing at my insides, demanding to be released. Its red eyes melting my very being. It hurts. The pain eating me alive. The curse of the damned demon killing its container. It soothes with sweet words, persuades with fake promises, telling me what I want to hear. That the villagers see a blonde boy, with blue eyes and tanned skin, not the Kyuubi, not the nine-tailed fox. It says that my friends really do love me, that they want to protect me as much as I do them.
Well, all except him. He left, like he had a better future following that path. He's such a dumbass. Revenge is nothing to waste your life for. But I guess we're two peas in a pod. Two idiots in this cruel world. I'm just going to go ahead and say this, what have I got to lose? I love him. At the Valley of the End, I realized he meant more than a rival. That turned into 'he meant more than just a friend'. That turned into 'I really love him, don't I?'
He's the reason I'm hurting. The reason the Kyuubi is acting up. He's left me weak, vulnerable, to whatever anyone on the outside, or inside, wants to do to me. I'm fighting myself, and I'm losing. This fight inside is breaking me. I can't keep this up. It's finding a way to break free, and I don't know if I can beat it. When I first found out, I tried to convince myself it's nothing.
It's nothing
It's everything
It's nothing
It's everything!
IT'S NOTHING!
It was like this for months, trying to lie to myself. Convince myself this is something I can handle. But it's not. Who the hell am I trying to fool? He'll be the death of me. He's the diseased one, not me. He's the one, it's all his fault! He took everything but it still wasn't enough! I hate him!
No, that's not right. I love him. He made me strong, made me smarter, made me mature the hard way. He opened my eyes to the world. The sickness just wants to blame him when it's me. I'm the problem. But how to end this problem?
I look across the room and see my kunai pouch along with all my other ninja tools. Yes. That will work. What's the best way to remove a tumor? Cut it out. I walk over and take out a kunai. Aiming dead in the middle of the Kyuubi seal, I plunge the knife forward. Soon the metallic, red liquid covers everything, the floors, the knife, my clothes, my hands. I feel my legs go weak, and soon collapse to the blood drenched floor.
I can feel it. My life leave me. My body numb. It's ending. No more sickness, no more pain, no more worries, no more demons. It's a win-win situation when you look at it. I probably should have left a note but that would have made it look like a depressing suicide. It doesn't matter anymore. Amazing that I can end this disease with just a flick of the wrist.
Goodbye Kyuubi.
Goodbye my friends.
Goodbye my family.
Goodbye my love.
