Miserable at Best

Disclaimer: The characters and the song that inspired this are not mine…

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It's been two years since the defeat of Voldemort. Harry Potter now lives the life he has always wished for. Everything is perfect…well almost everything. He still longs to have a family of his own. He wants a family with not just anyone but with the love of his life, Ginny Weasley. The problem is that she has been growing distant these past few weeks.

She is out attending a victory celebration for the Harpies' win against the Falcons two days ago. Harry was not able to attend the game because he was asked to fill in for Higanns who fell sick. Ginny asked him to come to the celebration, at least, but he couldn't. He had to finish Auror reports. She accepted his reason with just a bit of resentment as if she was actually expecting that he would, again, have an excuse not to attend. She, then, simply asked him to at least try.

He couldn't blame her for the resentment. He was always busy. She, too, had a killer schedule but she always found a way to make time for him. Why couldn't he do that for her? Now, he sits at his desk with the finished reports scattered around.

It was too late now. The party had started more than three hours ago and would end in less than forty-five minutes. He just let Ginny down again. He wearily pinches the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tightly. He let out a loud sigh, stood up and apparated to Potter Place. He's too tired to even go anywhere but home.

Harry dresses down, pours himself a glass of Firewhiskey and sits on the couch. His mind, once again, is on his girlfriend. He imagines her with her team, dancing with whomever and chatting with her friends, who, unlike him, were able to take time off to congratulate her and probably even attend her game.

Harry lets out a frustrated sigh. Could he really blame her for her lately cold demeanor? He could not even go to her game! Her game which had been scheduled months ago was blown off due to a stupid patrolling that could have been assigned to anyone else had he chosen not to accept (as it was supposed to be his day off)!

Dancing. Ginny loves dancing. She would, most likely, be dancing right now. He imagines her dancing with some of her teammates while they laugh loudly. He imagines her dancing with some of her old friends from Hogwarts while talking about the stuff they used to do. He imagines her dancing with him while he holds her close. That was not an image Harry could take out of his mind.

Yes, him. That idiot, Kenneth Swift, had been following her around lately. They met at an interview two month ago and became fast friends. Harry doubts that Ginny even notices that the idiot has been waiting for them to break up. She's really like Ron in that aspect sometimes.

Before they had met, Ginny would always go to either Luna or Hermione when she had a problem. Lately, Swift had been included in that list. He comforts her and listens to her and makes her laugh again while all Harry has been doing is giving her problems…problems that become the reason why she has to run to Swift in the first place.

Ginny would always tell Harry she loves him but he could never say he loved her back. He could not figure out why. All he knows is, contrary to popular belief, he is the biggest coward in the world. His fears were not even justified but he seems to be really good at creating situations where they would become justified. She deserves so much better than him.

She had an ultimatum. He, Harry, could sense it. Tonight was his last chance to stop sabotaging himself…and he did not take it. The party would be over now. He wasted too much time.

He finishes off his glass and dejectedly went to bed and slept a dreamless sleep. The next day, Ginny Weasley came to visit saying that they needed to talk. Harry already knew what she wanted to say, so, with a heavy heart, he gave it to her. Why? Because her happiness comes before his own and he could not give her the happiness she deserves.

Because these words are never easier for me to say

Or her to second guess

But I guess

That I can live without you but

Without you I'll be miserable at best

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The song that inspired this is Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade…it's a great song.

Hmmmm...Should I post the happier ending I had planned? Or should I just leave it with angst? Leave a review.