title: ignite
written by: helxium
summary: a collection of Fem!Naruto/Sasuke oneshots.
.
.
.
ignite.
.
.
.
If you were to ask Naruko Uzumaki about love, she would say that it wasn't warm or smoldering, like the dying embers in a fireplace, but an inferno—
(hellfire, she would say, a whirlwind of bated breaths that consumed and took until there was nothing left to give.)
And Sasuke Uchiha did just that. Tore apart her heart, mind, body and soul, stampeded on her will until it was reduced to dust for the winds to scatter, only to hook her back in with that infuriating smile of his.
She supposed she loved him from the beginning—always had—and he loved her too—
But not enough. Not the kind of love where you'd pull her into hugs and shower her with kisses, giving in to her whims, because she was your everything—
Never that.
"You want seconds?" Not bothering to let her answer, Iruka slapped a wad of bills on the counter, probably giving Teuchi a heftier tip than he could afford. Naruko heard the hiss of the stool as it turned, her eyes concentrated on the empty bowl until it was swiped out from under her.
"Thanks." She glanced up, her eyes reflecting pity. A hot coil of anger threatened to snap in the pit of her stomach, causing her to shift her gaze back down to the replenished bowl. "What's up?"
He gave her a long look, one of such concentration that it missed nothing—the subtle shifts in the blue hues that were her eyes, the familiar twitch of her cheeks as she chewed, settling on the dark circles embellishing her lids like a second skin.
"Whatever happened before is fixed now, right?"
Naruko paused, a slice of egg raised halfway to her mouth. Blinking back a surge of rage, she instead chose to reach for a glass of water, not meeting Iruka's eyes.
Finally, she said, "Not fixed. But not broken." A pause, then softly, "...just lost."
Iruka's eyes darkened with controlled savagery. "We'll bring him back."
"I can do it myself." Naruko slammed her hands down on the counter, rising to her feet. "And I will."
I'll bring you back if it's the last thing I do.
"You don't have to do this, you know."
"Don't worry, Sakura! I'll bring him back!" A silly grin, all white teeth and bright eyes. "Promise of a lifetime!"
She had such hope back then. Now, she seethed, her fists clenched, kicking the door to her apartment open—
(and her heart stopped.)
Light plunged in through the windows, highlighting the subtle shadows crossing his face, the dip of his collarbones shoulders amplified by how he sat, one arm propping his chin, the neckline of that damned white shirt slipping off his left shoulder.
(and he looked beautiful, not by birth or by body, but she would never admit that.)
"What are you doing here?" She managed to ask, still at the doorway, because a part of her believed he was a ghost, and this was just another one of her sick mind games.
He lifted a chin, almost puzzled, though nothing kin to surprise passed his eyes. "Sitting."
"That's not what I meant," she snapped, feeling her heart stutter. "Why are you here?"
He pinned her with a flat look. "Because I can."
"Damn you," she hissed, fists clenched with the suppressed desire to cross the room and strangle him to death. "Why did you come back?"
Light crept into his eyes. Run, she wanted to tell it. Run. Don't go to him. He'll swallow you.
Light did not belong in his eyes. He walked with the night, in mediocrity—in danger.
"Because I wanted to." He looked at her quizzically. "I love you. I thought I made at least that clear."
"What the hell do you mean?" Livid, she crossed her room in bounds, hands knotting into the fabric of his shirt. "Teme, you think you can just waltz in here and expect me to be okay with it? Get the hell out!" She couldn't find words foul enough to hurl at him, so instead, she settled for clicking her fist across his jaw, sick thrill running through her body at the residual crack.
Sasuke's head snapped back into place, a fine trail of blood staining his lips. Good, thought Naruko, her chest heaving. Good. How does that feel?
"And you love me," he verified, unaffected.
"That's where you're wrong." Naruko let out a shaky laugh. "You think I like—much less, love—you after what you did? To everyone? To me? To Sakura?" Her voice shook with rage. "You're a fucking riot, Sasuke."
"Look at me and deny it, then," Sasuke challenged coolly. He frowned. "Whatever. Even if you did, you wouldn't fool anyone, dobe." He reached up, curling one finger—
No, Naruko pleaded, squeezing her eyes shut. Don't. Don't seduce me.
And flicked her forehead.
(all her defenses and anger and resentment crumbled to the ground.)
"You're a monster." Her voice cracked, and when had she started crying? Sasuke offered no means of comfort, simply stared at her exhausted, flushed face with something akin to expectancy. "I hate you. You're the worst person I've ever met."
I hate myself for loving you.
"Of all people in this world, it had to be you." She threw her head back, laughing. "Of all people! You—the biggest mess of a person I've ever met! You—what did I ever do to deserve you?"
He had no answer to that.
"People like me fight people like you. They don't fall in love."
"I never promised you happiness." The look in his eyes was cruel and icy and unforgiving. "I never made promises to coddle you, shower you in petty affections, never let you down. I won't tell you everything is alright, I won't wipe away your tears, I won't shield you from the world." His eyes hardened. "And if you get in my way, I'll kill you. You have my heart, but it's not what you want."
"Listen to me, teme, and listen well." She cut, her eyes blazed until they burned, brighter, colder than the sun. "Nobody in this world expects to love someone like you. Nobody choses to have faith in a walking disaster, and you're damned if you think I chose to love you."
"But you did." Pale fingers hummed past a strand of golden hair. "And you do."
"I do," Naruko affirmed, bitter. "As does Sakura. But the love of a thousand suns wouldn't be enough for you."
"I am an avenger."
(because he is not a lover.)
"So what? You're going to leave now?" He half-smiled. "Run away? Nobody would blame you."
"Don't you get it, dumbass?" Naruko gripped his shoulders, shaking him with the ferocity of a madwoman. "I know that you're a shitty person. I know you'll never make me happy. I know you're not cut out for love—you will never be that man." She breathed harshly, feeling traitorous tears sting at her eyes again. "That doesn't change anything. I still love you, love just as much as I hate—and I want you. Not some other guy that can buy me flowers or take me out on fancy dates and kiss me goodnight. Not someone who'll swear to protect me and put me over everything else. I fell in love with you, with everything—good, bad, all of the bad—"
She lowered her eyes.
"—and I want you."
His eyes were wide, wide with surprise, tinged with fear, burning with a strange, dark curiosity.
"Even when I know it still won't be enough."
"Then you're a fool," he whispered softly. "An even bigger dobe than I thought."
He smiled, then—abrupt, startling, and all too fast—
Naruko burned the image into her mind, even as she was stripped of all her clothing, her hair freed in one, fluid movement, skilled fingers exploring the span of her tanned, lean body—
(and she was back where she started.)
.
.
.
author's note: *leisurely waves* thought it was about time I paid homage to the Naruto fandom, so here I am. With this cliché, overly angst-y fic that spawned out of nowhere. As you can tell, angst isn't my forte.
