Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, any of its people, places or things. That all belongs to Naoko Takeuchi.

Thoughts of Love and Hate

Every day I have to suffer through their sickening love affair. The kisses, the affection, their dreamy gazes towards one another. It all makes me want to vomit.

I don't know what he could possibly see in her; there complete opposites. Usagi is a spoiled brat. She's ignorant, clueless and just a general moron. I bet if you looked up the word moron in the dictionary her picture would be next to it. Mamo-chan is intelligent. He's kind, selfless and brave. He's the embodiment of a God when it comes to his looks as well. That's why I have no idea what he sees in her.

Every day I have to suffer through solving Usagi's problems with the raven-haired God. She always comes to me, because she thinks I root for them the most. She could never find out that I wish for them to act as they did when they first met.

If they still argued and bickered the way they did when they first met, my Mamo-chan and I would probably still be a couple. We would be so happy together…probably be engaged…and Usagi would be drooling over whatever beefcake walked by, because she still does that now.

She still does that, even though she has the most amazing, most perfect man in the whole wide world. She still falls for any pop star, actor and just anyone with a pretty face.

That's why she doesn't deserve him. She doesn't deserve him at all. She probably didn't deserve him in the Silver Millennium either, but my memory fails me at the current point in time. I'm sure she was just a ditz then too though.

Sometimes I wonder. I try to make my mind stop, but I still wonder. If they didn't have some destiny, some fate written in the stars to play out through history…if Mamoru would still be mine. After all, we were perfect together, we are both so good looking and so intelligent. I could be in the shrine while he ran his own business and brought back our livelihood.

We would have many children, and Grandpa would play with them all while I ran the temple as the Head Priestess and Mamoru would love me.

Mamoru would love me. We would lie under the stars every night. He would whisper sweet nothings into my ear and kiss me passionately every chance he got. We would be happy…if destiny didn't have other plans for my Mamo-chan.

If he and that odango didn't have some stupid destiny, I'm sure we would be together. He wouldn't be drawn to that girl if he didn't have to be. She has no winning qualities that could make any man want to be with her…

Who am I kidding, yes she does. She's kind, caring, considerate and lovable. She's noble, loyal and compassionate. She would never think the selfish thoughts I am thinking right now. She would die for me, even if she knew what I was thinking now.

Usagi is the Moon Princess, wielder of the Ginsishou for a reason; her purity is what gives it its strength. Her purity, her love for all…its why he loves her so much.

He may love her so, but I do not. No matter how hard I try to push these thoughts aside, I cannot. For I know if Mamo-chan could, he would be with me. That is why I still pick on Usa-chan. That is why I bring up petty things that are far in the past.

It is because I can't stand the fact that she has my Mamo-chan. She may be an angel, she may be my Moon Princess…but she is also my adversary.

We will never truly be friends, for I can never forgive her for taking him away from me. I will still protect her, but only because it is my duty.

I am Sailor Mars, the one who wields fire. Perhaps that is why I hate Usagi. For fire is never contained, it is merely spread.