Ben Affleck Presents

KINGDOM HEARTS: THE MOVIE 3D

SOPA'S REVENGE

STARRING:

Nicholas B. Cage as Merlin/Yen Sid/Ricky/Dark Ricky/The Magic Mirror/All seven dwarfs/A pigeon

Quintin Flynn as Axel

George Clowney as Meow Wow

Quasimodo as Himself

And...

Ben Affleck

With special consideration to

Jeff Bridges

Garrett Hedlund

Olivia Wilde

& Bruce Boxleitner

A Ben Affleck Film

Directed by Ben Affleck

Screenplay by

KINGDOM HEARTS: THE MOVIE 3D

SOPA'S REVENGE


"Is—Is this thing on?" Ben Affleck was saying. "Oh it is! Okay, places everyone Action!" Ben was juggling the camera and his aluminum keybat in the other hand, essentially giving everyone a selfie close-up of his iconic chin and making his forehead look larger than usual.

"I... I don't know where I am.. and.. I might be dreaming and..."

"You are." Nick Cage said wearing and stroking a poorly made white beard. He also had a birthday party hat on his head and was naked for all but a bathrobe.

"Old Ricky!" Ben exclaimed. Forgetting to turn the camera back towards his co-star. He then realized and adjusted, holding the camera slightly off-center.

"That's right!" Nick Cage lifted up his arms, making his bathrobe sleeves hang from his elbows. "I am older- no no! I am Yensen! Wizard extraordinary! Like in my movie there.. the one with the kid.. the Sorcerer's Apprentice! I am back!"

"Silly Ricky..." Ben said. "I mean Bensen! Wise and knowledgeable Bensen!"

"That's right.. oooh.." Ben adjusted the camera to catch his forced shocked expression. The microphone picking up all the clicking of the adjustment work.

When the camera went back, Nick Cage was pulling off his party hat and throwing it aside.

"Sopa! Hurry! Listen to Master Mensa! He has lots to tell us about... the plot.. and stuffff..." He grunted as he picked up and put his bathrobe back on, the fake beard and the party hat, all on camera.

Ben angled it back at his face to capture his forced expression again. Once again forgetting to return it back to Nick Cage for half of the next line.

"Master Bay & Snort is coming back~ Ooooh! Ooohh! Scary! Scary! HEE HEE HOO HA!"

There was awkward silence for a moment before Ben said "Ricky! It's your line, Ricky!"

"Oh, right. Uh.." Nick Cage tore the beard and robe off once again on camera. Wearing only a bright blue pair of shorts and the party hat still. "I am Ricky! Right. And Sopa! We must fall asleep to fight.. er.. train to fight against master Bay and Snort."

Nick Cage and Ben (holding the camera) both curled up and laid down on the floor. Stage hands moved in and rearranged the room. Making it look bright and vibrant.

Ben stood back up. "Ricky! Wake up Ricky! We;re in my Dreams, Ricky! We're really in my dreams!"

"Wha?" Nick Cage stood up, pretending to yawn. "But- How-?" He started to ask legitimately.

Ben cut Nick off by turning the camera back towards himself. "My dreams are beautiful, Ricky! We'll go to far away places and meet far out people! And go on adventures and things."

George Clowney in a big old Meow Wow foam suit crawled along the floor and curled up in Ben Affleck's lap while Ben angled the camera to record a TV screen playing Tron Legacy. The audio was horrible across the mic, and it was dubbed over on top. Making the wording distorted.

"I invented Clu!" Jeff Bridges exclaimed to his son Garrett Hedlund. "And Quorra! And Tron and-"

Footage of the cast of Tron Legacy were all shown in sequence.

The overdub (clearly in Ben Afflecks voice and even more tone-deaf than usual) said, "Soma, you have to fight Master Neigh & Snort, Soma. He hurt your friends, Snora."

Ben shoved George Clowney off onto the floor while he grabbed the camera and his aluminum bat. He lead Nick Cage out of the studio, into the bright light of outdoors, recording all along the way. Dodging golf carts and other actors and extras before entering into another studio, all in handy-cam-famous style.

He kicked open the doors to another studio, which was in the middle of filming a sitcom of some sort, barreling in past the audience only to go to the backrooms and kick open the dressing room of some female actress.

She screamed and chucked makeup products and clothes at Ben. Undergarments landed on the camera and Ben didn't notice, too busy taking cover and closing the door.

Nick Cage stifled a snicker as Ben peeled off the underwear, clearly afraid to touch it for any length of time.

"Uh.. like.. over there!" Nick Cage said, pointing towards some doors.

Ben, not missing a beat, hurried over to the set of doors and opened up into another studio. It was empty save for a couple wooden cut-out trees and other props.

Nick Cage, now wearing a red party hat and a dirty beard started hopping around on camera and making creepy faces.

"I'm Sleepy! Dopey! Saddy! Happy! Mocky! Smelly! And Doc!" He said, all in different attempts to change his tone of voice and expressions. "We're you're friends, Sora! Your friends! Your friends! Your friends!"

He kept saying friends even as security came along and arrested them both..

The camera, discarded, fell over onto the floor and happened to catch a trailer for Dream Drop Distance that Ben had set on loop some time before filming. Obviously it was intended to serve a purpose, but really only forced the studio to credit the actors caught on film.

The camera continued rolling for another hour or so before the battery died.

..The end. For now.