AN: This utterly random pairing was inspired by an RP I was a part of a few years ago, in which I played Will's dad and Sue and I bonded over Dexter and kind of sort of might have had a thing going on. I haven't watched Glee consistently since season 3 and nothing in this is even remotely canon compliant after around season 2, I think?


Sue Sylvester was lost. Not geographically, of course. If anyone asked, she would say she had a GPS device implanted into her brain that made her incapable of being geographically lost. No, Sue was metaphorically lost, emotionally lost. She liked to pretend she had a handle on it all, but the truth was everything she did—running for office, restarting her quest to destroy Will Schuester and his glee club, prank calling the US Mint using various regional accents to request coinage with her face on it—was done to try and fill the void her sister Jean left in her life.

What Sue needed more than anything was an escape, one last mindless distraction before heading back to face the drudgery of McKinley High School and Mr. Brillo Head himself. Knowing his insufferably optimistic personality, he probably wouldn't take his embarrassing loss at Nationals for the death knell it should have been and put his glee club out of its misery. She dreaded what he would be like once school started, all renewed vigor and enthusiasm. Just thinking about him made her grind her teeth.

Nothing that twelve solid hours of vigilante justice can't solve, Sue thought, plucking a set of DVDs off the shelf in front of her. The fourth season of Dexter should do the trick. She might even pick up a few pointers…

Sue drifted off into a fantasy about which classroom at McKinley would look best draped in plastic sheeting, but she was soon interrupted—more politely than 'interrupting' usually implies—by a voice.

"I heard the finale was a real bloodbath."

She looked up from the box in her hand to find a man standing a little way down the aisle from her. He was well outside of her personal space, which spared him a quick knee to the groin. She had to admit, as pick up lines went, his choice was a little odd. Not the strangest she'd come across to be sure, but still… odd. "Excuse me?"

The man smiled and nodded towards the box. "The finale. Have you seen it?"

"Yes, I have. And you should be shot for that horrible pun."

She gave him a once over. Perhaps there would be a chance for a different kind of distraction tonight. He was in good shape, as tall as she was, at least, which was a point in his favor; one of the downsides to being such a tall woman in a very average American town filled with average men was that most of them were shorter than her. As much fun as it could be to tower over someone for intimidation, there was definitely something to be said for being on more even ground for certain… activities.

He was wearing one of those driving caps so she couldn't really see how much hair he had, but what little she could see was gray and well groomed. His clothes were neat and clean. By rights, the bow tie he was wearing should look ridiculous, but somehow it simultaneously took attention away from his giant, mismatched ears and made his shoulders look broader. As if they need the help, she thought, her gaze lingering on them. She wouldn't mind a piece of that, even if he was a good ten—ehem... thirty years older than her. There was something about him, though. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, but… "Do I know you?"

"Boy, do I wish! Sue's Corner is the highlight of my week. I sit through that sleaze-ball Rod Remington just to be sure I don't miss it." He shook his head, still smiling. "But, no, we've never met. I'm Tom," he said. He took a step forward and held out his hand. She wondered idly if he was left-handed or if he'd offered that hand because her right was full.

"Sue Sylvester," she said. A little formal considering he was a fan, but whatever. His hand was dry and warm and strong; she liked that. Clammy, weak handshakes sent her straight for Elma's stockpile of hand sanitizer. There was a pale patch of skin on his ring finger; he was either recently divorced or currently stupid, if he was trying to pick her up. She was starting to think she wanted to find out which it was.

"Well, I'm happy to meet you, Sue. It's been a little dream of mine for a while." There was a wistful edge to his smile now and he meant every word, she could tell. He was genuinely happy to meet her. Not afraid (like some people), not exactly in awe (like a hell of a lot less people than she'd care to admit), but pretty damned close. Which was… something. Something pleasant. Like his smile.

That damned smile. It taunted her, tickling at the edges of her memory. He could swear up and down that they'd never met, but she knew it from somewhere.

"Hmm… Keep talking like that and you'll find out pretty quick that flattery will get you everywhere."

He chuckled. She liked that, too. It was a warm sound. (She liked it anyway.)

"So Tom... is this your usual Friday night haunt? Trolling the DVD section looking to pick up women? Should I be reading anything into your genre of choice?"

His smile faltered, finally. She had begun to wonder if it was permanent. "Oh, I—that wasn't what I was..." He trailed off into stuttering denials about how he hadn't meant it that way and would she please forgive him if he crossed any lines and made her feel uncomfortable… Coming from someone else it might have been a load of horseshit, but for some reason she believed him.

"You know, it's too bad you weren't trying to get in my pants." She looked him up and down again, slow and deliberate to make sure he noticed. "It was working."

"Oh." He was obviously flustered; he looked like he was trying to decide if he should regain the step he'd lost when she'd called him on his (unintentional?) flirting or run away with his tail between his legs. It could go either way at this point.

He gave a small, determined nod and stood up a little straighter before clearing his throat. "Well, in that case…" He held out his hand again. "Would you care to join me for dinner and drinks? Maybe a movie?"

She eyed his outstretched hand, his deliberately confident posture, and her lips curled into a smirk. Yes, this one has potential, that's for sure. She reached out and took his hand.