Sherlock sat there, staring down at the phone in his hands. He wanted so much to just call John and tell him that he was alive. He couldn't though, not yet. No one could know that he was alive. He had a job to do and pretending to be dead was a part of it. He brought his knees up to his chest and started to cry into them. That moment on the roof changed him. He realized then that sometimes it's not good to divorce yourself from your emotions. Sometimes you simply can't. It was in that moment on the roof that Sherlock realized the true meaning of the word love and the biochemical reactions that go with it. Despite his denial of it, Sherlock really did care. He cared more than John would ever know, and that's what pained him the most.