A/N: This is a rewrite of the version of Parallels I previously published on FFN. It remains in the same universe as Forever and Always, which is not (necessarily) required reading. Drabbles and other associated bits can be found on my tumblr. Italics indicate thoughts of characters. Those of you who have come via my tumblr will recognize the end of this chapter. My thanks to heilwolflord for that prompt.

Chapter One: Media Vita In Morte Sumus

Citadel, 11 April 2183, 1930 hours.

"Anderson. We need to talk."

Captain, now Councillor Anderson looked up from the datapad he was studying with a frown.

"Right now Udina? Can't it wait until the morning?"

The other man scowled, and sat down in the chair opposite him without waiting to be invited.

"We need another Spectre. We've gained a seat on the Council, but we're still on the back foot in regards to humanity's interests. Another Spectre would..."

Anderson raised an eyebrow, cutting Udina off mid sentence. Placing the datapad on the arm of his chair, he steepled his fingers and leant forward, studying the other man. Udina shifted under the scrutiny.

"Shepard has only been a Spectre for four months. You know as well as I do that that is no time at all in galactic politics. We have only had a seat on the Council for six weeks. We can't push for anything right now, not with the rebuild."

Udina stiffened, jutting his chin forward.

"It's the perfect time, Councillor. We can take advantage of the chaos and increase humanity's influence. We need someone who will follow orders, Shepard is too much of an uncertainty, and could become a liability with all this Reaper shit..."

"Look out there Udina!" Anderson snapped, waving his hand towards the window. "Look at the damage. That was no Geth ship, that was something else entirely. A Reaper. Like it or not, Shepard is right." He paused, gritting his teeth. "Besides, there is only one Alliance operative who currently meets the standards for Spectre candidacy and I'm damned sure she would tell you where to shove it."

"I think Alenko needs to be a Spectre." Udina muttered, avoiding Anderson's gaze.

Anderson sighed.

"Weren't you listening? Darcy is the only person we've got anywhere near Shepard's level currently on the active duty roster, and she's even less directable than Shepard! Alenko would be a good candidate, but not for a couple of years. He's only a staff lieutenant, he hasn't even had his own command, let alone the lone wolf skills needed to be a Spectre."

The other man had grimaced at the mention of Darcy.

"Regardless of her skill, I don't feel that Darcy is a good choice. The woman is a PR nightmare. Sure she's that marvellous surgeon, but those black ops missions? We had a hard enough time suppressing her activities on Torfan."

Anderson scowled.

"You know as well as I do that Darcy had very few alternative options on Torfan. We needed a dirty job done and she is one of the most... efficient soldiers the Alliance has."

"And I also know that she was utterly ruthless in the choices she made. That's what I was talking about." Udina stared at Anderson defiantly. "Alenko is the best candidate. End of story."

"I'll think about it. Get out of my office Udina."

As Udina stormed out, Anderson sagged back into his chair. As much as he hated to admit it, Udina had a point. Alenko would make a good Spectre, however he needed his own command first. He drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair, then stood rapidly. Striding over to his desk he fired up the terminal and started composing a message to Admiral Hackett.


Citadel, 12 April 2183, 1000 hours.

Anderson looked up from his desk as the door to his office hissed open.

"Admiral," he said, rising and gesturing to the seat on the other side of his desk. "Have a seat."

"Thank you Councillor," Hackett commented, and lowered himself into the chair. "You wanted to discuss reassigning Lieutenant Alenko? Personally, I'm loathe to do that, Shepard's team functions very well, albeit unconventionally."

"I don't disagree with you Admiral," Anderson replied, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. "However, Udina has suggested that Alenko would make a suitable spectre candidate."

"Surely he means in a few years? Alenko just doesn't meet the criteria right now." Hackett remarked, propping his elbow on the arm of the chair. The other man shook his head.

"He means right now. I agree with you though, Alenko just isn't ready." Anderson paused, swiping through several screens on a nearby datapad. "That's why I wanted to propose transferring him to operations. Darcy doesn't have an immediate subordinate currently, and I believe that they would be a good fit."

"Darcy was a trainer at the academy in Rio for a while wasn't she? She did have a good rapport with the biotic candidates. Would she take Alenko though, hasn't her last trainee been recently reassigned?" Hackett said thoughtfully, idly scratching at his chin.

"Jacob Taylor? He has, but it was at her suggestion. They got on fairly well, she handpicked him from the Corsairs, but found after a few months he was disillusioned with the black ops work the Corsairs and Darcy are used for. He also struggled to deal with the months of downtime between missions, he wanted to be out doing something, helping people. A few words in the right places and Darcy got him a transfer to Eden Prime. As I understand it, he has resigned as a marine after the attack." Anderson paused, frowning slightly. "There is another reason I'm inclined to shift Alenko."

"Fraternization regs?" the other man supplied with a smirk.

Anderson nodded silently.

"In all honesty Stephen, I have no proof, just a hunch."

Hackett shifted in his chair, before meeting Anderson's eyes.

"I saw them together in Vancouver a fortnight ago. She looked happy David, God knows how long it's been since Hannah or I saw her smile like that..."

"Hannah or I?"

He cleared his throat. "You know what I mean. She's always been a good kid, and she was definitely the victim of the fraternization regs growing up in the fleet. I don't care what relationship she has with Alenko, I just want her team to function well and for her to be happy." He winced. "However, her decision on Virmire could come under intense scrutiny if the media, specifically al-Jilani, catch wind of their relationship."

Anderson hmmed in response, and turned his chair to look out the wide window behind him.

Hackett pushed himself out of his chair and stood.

"Quite frankly David, Shepard is a spectre. At the end of the day how her team functions is not my responsibility, it's yours. If you want Alenko off the Normandy and trained by Darcy, that's your decision to make. I'll sign on the dotted line, though I'd suggest running it by Darcy first. She's played the game for long enough, her instincts are sound. Councillor."

"Admiral."

With a nod, Hackett turned on his heel and left the office. Anderson drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair, then pulled up his omni-tool and typed a rapid message.


Citadel, April 13 2183. 2000 hours.

The apartment door slid silently open as he reached for the doorbell. With a roll of his eyes Anderson stepped into the apartment. It was empty, apart from the sound of running water drifting from the direction of the bedroom. As if on cue, a voice called from the same direction.

"Make yourself at home David, there's some scotch in the drawer of the coffee table. Glasses are in the kitchen. I won't be long."

He grinned and turned to the small kitchen. A brief rummage in a cupboard produced two glasses, and a foray into the depths of the freezer resulted in him finding a long forgotten tray of novelty ice-cubes. He had just finished putting ice in the glasses when he heard footsteps behind him.

"Evelyn, why on earth do you have shark fin shaped ice cubes? What's wrong with normal shaped ones? You could at least keep the icemaker filled up." he asked, turning to face her.

He was met with a smirk.

"Novelty." she replied as she reached out and took one of the glasses.

She sunk onto the closest couch with a sigh; reaching out an arm she fumbled at the coffee table, opening a drawer and pulling out a bottle of rum. She took a swig straight from the bottle before filling her glass.

"Scotch is in there. I've already said that haven't I? Sit down David. Or flop. Flopping is good."

He fished the bottle of scotch out of the drawer and shunted it closed with his foot. Pouring three fingers, he lowered himself into an armchair and studied her. Evelyn Darcy, one of the only people in the entire Alliance military that held a dual vocational designation, was sprawled out along the length of the couch with her arm draped over her face and a set of spectacles dangling from her fingers.

"You didn't turn up to our meeting today." he stated, swirling his drink in the glass.

She turned her head, peeking out from under her wrist.

"I had a feeling this wasn't a social call Councillor. I've just finished a 36 hour shift, I was a little preoccupied, and am a lot tired." She jiggled the spectacles. "Hence these. I know you're wondering."

Anderson chuckled.

"I was at that. 36 hours? I thought that was if not illegal, highly discouraged and only residents are expected to do those shifts?"

"Yeah, I know. Way I see it, residents don't have a huge amount of experience. I have experience, and I don't like subjugating people to horrible shift schedules whilst avoiding them myself. It's not fair, either on the residents or the patients. Exhausted residents make mistakes, and when you're working in a trauma unit mistakes can end badly. Besides, I did get eight hours of downtime."

Anderson raised an eyebrow. "Eight hours of downtime?"

Evelyn shrugged. "Yeah, more or less. Technically it was a night shift spent as the senior on-call specialist for the whole hospital, so really it was five hours of high acuity patients and three hours of dozing, followed by a series of surgeries lasting twelve hours. Did you know Eclipse managed to smuggle a shipment of red sand onto the station last night?"

"I hadn't heard about that."

"One of the crates full of the stuff dropped and broke open as it was being unloaded. All the susceptible individuals in a 500 metre radius of that dock went berserk. It was messy." She paused, sitting up and taking another swig of her drink. The spectacles were placed carefully on her nose. "Anyway, this isn't what you came here to talk to me about was it? Hit me."

He pulled a datapad out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"I want you to train the next human spectre."

She stared at him over the top of her glasses, surprised.

"You want me to do what?!"

Anderson pointed at the datapad.

"The details are in there. Humour me and read it."

A few minutes went by in silence, interrupted only by the chink of ice against glass as Anderson took a long swallow of his drink.

"Oh, this guy," Evelyn commented. "I remember this incident, I debriefed the girl that was involved."

"When he killed Vyrnnus? That was in 2169, were you even in the military then?"

He got another sharp look.

"I've been in the medical corps since Shanxi. This was the first SAIS job I did though."

"Really? Evelyn, how old are you?" Anderson asked.

"I'm not telling, it's impolite to ask a lady that" she replied haughtily, and returned her attention to the datapad.

Fifteen minutes later, she pushed the datapad across the table.

"I'll do it."


Amada System, April 14 2183. 1000 hours.

Lieutenant Commander Olivia Shepard sagged in her seat at the terminal in her cabin, closing her eyes against the harsh orange glare of the screen. She was still asleep, this was a bad dream and she would wake up any minute. Preferably snuggled into Kaidan's chest, but right now she would settle for just waking up. She cracked one eye open.

Fuck.

The message was still there.

Normandy SR-1 - Crew Manifest Update.

Staff Lieutenant Kaidan W. Alenko - reassigned. Orders will be provided upon return to the Citadel.

On authority of Admiral S. Hackett.

God fucking damn it. That's not fair!

She scrolled rapidly, hoping that there was an explanation, an apology, anything.

There was.

Olivia,

I'm sorry. The main reason we're doing this is for Kaidan's career progression. He's a good soldier, and it's been noticed. It comes with a promotion to Lieutenant Commander, and you can understand how that would muddy the chain of command on the Normandy. If it's any consolation, his assignment is Citadel based rather than Earth.

Hackett.

P.S. I saw you in Vancouver a fortnight ago. Your mother and I are happy for you, but Anderson and I are worried about what might happen if al-Jilani gets wind of this relationship. I promised your father that I would keep an eye on you, and I know he'd approve. ... Hannah says stay safe and she'll talk to you soon.

SH.

She allowed herself a small smile as she finished reading the message. At least it wasn't a punishment for fraternization. She didn't fancy telling Kaidan though. Checking the time on her omni-tool, she estimated that they had just entered orbit around Alchera. He would probably be heading to the cockpit, he was on co-pilot duty this shift. Pushing her chair back, she was half wayto standing when an explosion shook the ship.

Scrambling to her feet, she yelled into her omni-tool, "Joker, what the hell just happened?"

The reply was panicked, "We're under attack from an unidentified cruiser. It's not geth..." a crackle of static obscured his next words. "Pressly's down. We've got multiple hull breaches!"

"Copy that Joker," she replied, throwing open the door to her armour locker. "Start the evac."

As she threw herself into her armour, she managed to type the command to initiate the automated distress signal. As she hit the initiate key, Kaidan stumbled through the door of her cabin.

"Shepard, evac is proceeding as ordered, but Joker won't leave the cockpit, I'm going back to get him."

Another explosion rocked the ship, and they both shoved their helmets on. Shepard shook her head.

"I'll go for Joker. Get yourself out."

Even through his helmet she could sense the indecision in his gaze.

"Shepard..." he started, leaning towards her.

"Lieutenant, go!" she shouted, pushing past him.

There was only a brief hesitation before his reply.

"Yes ma'am."


Amada System, 14 April 2183. 1037 hours.

It was a surreal feeling, watching a ship as large as the Normandy disintegrate into flames in complete and utter silence. Kaidan narrowed his eyes and squinted through the small view port, hoping, even praying to catch a glimpse of another life pod, confirmation that she was safe, that she wasn't on the Normandy as it disintegrated. He slipped his hand into a pocket of his armour, and pulled out the slip of paper with her name on it that Ash had given him on Valentine's Day. Reading her name over and over again, he couldn't bear not knowing if she was safe. He activated his omni-tool, and opened the private comm. channel Shepard had insisted he set up.

"Shepard, are you safe?" he whispered urgently.

A gasping breath in response suggested otherwise. His heart sank.

"Shepard? What happened?"

"Kaidan… I got Joker out… we got separated." she cut off, gasping for air. "My suit… it's been damaged… I'm losing air fast … I can't…. I can't breathe Kaidan!"

He sucked in a harsh breath, and crumpled the slip of paper in his fist. Chakwas shot him a worried look across the aisle, and he could feel Liara's eyes burning into the back of his head.

What the fuck am I going to do now?

"Livy, take deep slow breaths," he said into his comm., surprised at how calm his voice was.

"Help is coming, you're going to be alright."

Liar.

"I can't! There's… not enough air. … This… isn't how I wanted to go Ash… Kaidan." Her voice was becoming weaker, her breathing harsher. "I lo… lov… love… you. I'm sor… sorry Kaidan."

Kaidan clawed at the release of his helmet, crushing the heels of his palms into his eyes as soon as he pulled it off.

"Please, just hold on… Help won't be far away. Livy? Livy?!"

He never got a reply, just ragged gasps trailing off into silence.

I love you too. Please, don't go where I can't follow. Please.

He shrugged off Chakwas' hand, and pressed his forehead against the small view port.

"Kaidan?" Liara's voice was anxious, tentative.

He closed his eyes, fighting to stay in control.

"She's gone."

A single tear rolled down his cheek as he heard the others in the pod react. He squeezed the paper in his hand tight, and it stayed there as his heart shattered into pieces.