A/N: Here it is, Blaise's story. Many, many thanks to my new beta Desi who helped improve this story by miles. Enjoy everyone!
Disclaimer: Not mine, not Desi's. Never been, never will.
The most he could have hoped for was a goodbye before he left, but no. Blaise woke up most mornings with an empty spot next to him. He was lucky if he could wake up to find his latest escapade quietly scuttling out the door of his dormitory, with his robes swathed in his small, pale arms and a look on his face that he didn't recall ever seeing the night before. Then, it would just be a nod apiece before the door would close and Blaise would roll over to try and catch a few more minutes of sleep.
But on some occasions, like that somber rainy night, where he was seated on the window seat watching rain smack against the windows with a cigarette smoldering between his fingers, he wondered if there was anything more than what he had in the mornings. He wondered if there was such thing as being able to greet your partner 'Good morning' instead of 'Make sure you lock the door behind you'. He wondered why that dull, aching throbbing in his chest always made itself known whenever he saw Draco and Harry walk around with each other's crumpled ties jutting out of their pockets. But most of all, he wondered why it had never occurred to him to want what they had.
It's almost driving me crazy, watching them both look at each other over the tops of their books during breakfast, or worse, Potions, when I'm pretty sure one is wanking the other off underneath the table. It bothers me that I'm bothered.
You like the way things are, remember? You needn't commit to one single person and you don't have to feel anything when you find you can't even remember anyone's name from the night before. You like it when you don't feel remorse when you walk into a room and realize that you have slept with at least three or four of the people occupying it, most of them with serious, stable relationships of their own. You hear whispers of your prowess in bed when you walk by; you're famous in that aspect! It's all a guy like you could ever want, so why would you want anything more?
It's what he usually always told himself on nights such as these. He was pretty sure it wasn't his conscience talking because he had concluded such a long time ago that he wasn't born with one. No, the voice in his head must have been self-preservation. It had stopped him from doing blindly hopping into one thing or another or anything stupid, like actually getting around to genuine commitment.
Well, if he did (may heaven strike me with the clap, he often said), he wouldn't have a single problem standing in his way. He was a walking God among mortals, with a hell of a lot more than arrogant loftiness to add to the whole effect. He had rich, smooth, dark skin stretched taut over well-formed muscles most- no, all-athletes of his age would envy. His face was exotic and beautifully formed, with vividly green catlike eyes that darkened to a breathtaking sultry emerald whenever he saw something he particularly wanted. His nose was elegantly arched, and his mouth sported a mischievous yet sexy grin that sent people (both male and female) shaking at the knees and struggling to stand up straight, or in some cases, at all. No, you couldn't say anyone had turned him away because of his looks. His skills in bed were nearing legendary, so he didn't have to worry about that, either.
He took another drag of his cigarette and let the smoke curl out through partly opened lips. It was against the rules to smoke in the dormitories, but since he had shagged both prefects on several satisfying occasions, he could get away with nearly anything. It didn't matter. Nobody was going to stop him, and nobody ever would. Not when it came to the things he wanted.
