Sunday, 4th of December
Six months. Sometimes it was a long time, sometimes it was a short time. Half a year. There were times when Sofia felt, half a year was an eternity. During high school, the last half year was hell, same for the first half year at police academy. Too many tests, too much pressure, too many new things she had to remember, no time for friends and fun. Or her last half year as a CSI, demoted and unhappy on her new shift, away from her colleagues, stuck in a team that didn't seem to like her, didn't want her in and blamed her for being split up. Today it's been half a year, six months, that she lost her lower left leg. On the fourth of June twelve men first open fire on tourists, worker and bystander at the Hollywood and Highland Center before they blew the building and with it, all the people in and around off. Over three hundred lost their lives, Sofia, outside, on her way to find a place to answer the fire, end the shooting, lost her lower left leg.
Since that day her life had changed. Again. She wasn't a cop anymore. Didn't want to. With her physical condition it was impossible to work outside, all her boss could offer her was a job inside. Office work. Yes, there was the chance to become a captain but Sofia wasn't an office person. She needed fresh air, had to be outside, go to different scenes, meet different people. Typing wasn't her kind of work, she was an investigator. So it was the best thing to say goodbye to her beloved police job and become a CSI; again. This way she was outside, was on crime scenes and worked them. Not like a cop but she was there.
With her friend from Las Vegas. Greg and she worked the same shift, sometimes the same cases. It was good to have him around. Years ago in Vegas it was fun to work with him, she showed him a few things, as he was new. Now he showed her all the new things, she had no clue of. And made sure she was fine, didn't work too much.
With her prosthesis she could do all the work, got every day better, even forgot sometimes she wore it until the pain was back. She needed painkillers, sometimes more, sometimes only one. Very seldom she tried days without medicine. Half a year wasn't a long time when you lost your limb. Her body had to fight every day, there were scars, visible on her leg and various more all over her body from broken glass that cut into her skin when the building exploded. And invisible scars. Nightmares of this day, the pain of losing a part of your body, feeling helpless and useless sometimes.
A lot of reasons to fight, a lot of reasons to give up. She was a fighter. And the best reason why she should continue to fight every day just walked into the room. Sara. Her lover. Two years of relationship, two years of endless love. It had never crossed her mind to leave Sara after the accident. Well, yes there were a few minutes of drowning in self-pity, being angry with herself and the world when she told Sara, she didn't want her anymore, didn't want her pity and be her burden. Sara, stubborn, confused and hurt, told her she'd move out the next day. Luckily Sofia's mother told them both off, made them use their head and ended the break-up before it could start. There had never been any sign of disgust in Sara's face when she saw Sofia's body the way it looked now. Never. Only love. And happiness that they had the chance to be together, could continue to be together, live together.
"Good morning."
God, this smile. Whenever Sara smiled at her like this, Sofia felt like ice in the hot summer sun. She melted. This beautiful woman, this amazing person, was her girlfriend. Loved her. In moments like this she felt like the happiest person in the universe.
Without speaking she pulled her lover into her arms and kissed her passionately. What lovely lips. So sweet, so soft, so much hers. Only she was allowed to kiss them. Only she was kissed by them.
"Morning Beauty." Why couldn't she pull Sara in her arms, so tightly that they were one? She wanted to pull her lover inside her, have her with her the whole time. Every inch apart was an inch too much.
"Are you all right?"
"Now I am." Snuggling into the arms of her lover, Sofia placed her head on Sara's shoulder. Hold and be hold. Love and trust.
"What was wrong before?"
"Six months are over today. Six months ago, at this time of the day, I had both legs. Twelve hours later I lost half of my left leg."
"Yes." Sara knew the date and hadn't been sure how to react. Was she supposed to talk about the day, the event? Was it too painful for Sofia and therefore better not to mention it? It had been the worst day in their life. Sofia lost half of her leg, Sara feared for various days she had lost her lover at all. The coma, the complications. Many hours of fear, in tears, had been spent in front of hospital rooms.
"I realized I'm a lucky woman. I lost a part of my body but I still have you. Being with you, knowing you love me, is worth much more than a leg."
"You won't lose me, I love you."
"I love you too. You give me strength to carry on every morning I wake up next to you. Six months. First I thought I should burry myself in bed, don't go to work, ignore the day and hope it's over ASAP. Then I realized it's the wrong thinking. This is another day, has nothing to do with the fourth of June. I'll make this day a good day."
"That's a better plan."
"It is. Do you want to have breakfast with me? To start this day like a good day?"
"I'm starving." Sara had taken the dogs around the reservoir for a quick morning run. "Not only for food but also for a couple of kisses."
"Why don't we get ourselves breakfast and after every bite you take, you get a kiss for free? And do the same with me."
"I love your plans almost as much as I love you." Sara pulled Sofia in her arms and kissed her. You needed a base to start the day or breakfast and her base were kisses of her girlfriend.
With a smile Sara took a key out of her pocket and opened the door. Her own spare key she used for the first time. Not to her own house, no, today her first stop after work was somewhere else: Greg's place. He and Sofia were still at work so he couldn't let her in. Since two weeks the blonde was on the same team as Greg, worked cases with him. Her girlfriend seemed to be happy with her new job, only now and then she missed her old job what her sad eyes told Sara. The good news were so far Sofia had no problems with her prosthesis and could do most of the things she did before. Especially after their holiday trip to the Dominican Republic her mood was better and she was happier. These two weeks showed her it was still possible to enjoy life and do the things she did before.
"Hello?" The new house of her best friend and her former therapist was held in white with colorful decoration. Not like Sofia's house, their house had only two stories and no attic, was a little bit smaller. The three bedrooms and two bathrooms were upstairs, the kitchen, living room, a guest toilette and two little office rooms were on the first story. A little garden was in the back, big enough for their kids to play later. All in all a cozy little place, perfect for a family.
"Couch!" She heard Jules calling.
"Hey, wow." She hadn't seen Jules for over a week, another reason why she came here after work. The belly of the psychologist was huge. No wonder she wasn't working anymore. How could she walk with something like this?
"I know I'm fat." Jules struggled to get up until she sat. It looked like hard work to Sara to move.
"I never said that. You look…very…pregnant."
"That means I look very fat! Thanks Sara."
"No, you are…are you sure there are only two babies inside?" Babies were so tiny after they are born and Jules's belly was so…not tiny. Would she give birth to a whole basketball team? Half a football team?
"Very sure." Jules petted on the place next to her and hugged Sara when she sat down. "Thanks for coming around."
"No problem." It wasn't like they met every day. Well, since Greg lived in Los Angeles they meet at least once a week, sometimes more often. Sara had helped a lot when they moved into the house, spent a lot of time with Greg and Jules, who had stopped working last month and could not do much in the house.
"How was your day?"
"Exhausting, I walked around ten miles. Since I'm a ranger I don't need the gym anymore."
"Why don't you take off your shoes and put your feet up? I'm sure they'll like that."
"How does that look?"
"Like you're at home."
"It's not my home, it's yours."
"Sara." Jules chuckled. This was the home of her friends, therefore it was also her home. She was always welcome here.
"What? Don't give me this therapist look. I hate that."
Jules only smiled.
"How was your day?" Sara rolled her eyes and kept her feet in her shoes and on the ground. Her feet complained about it, but she ignored them.
"Boring. I sat here, walked a few yards and sat down again. These two are too heavy for my back and the rest of my body. I'm really happy when they're out and I don't weigh two tons anymore."
"You don't weight two tons."
"I look like it."
"You look pregnant and beautiful."
"Does Greg pay you? Did he tell you to tell me this?"
"No." Sara laughed. "And even if he did I'd deny it."
"You're on his side."
"There aren't two sides, there's only one side. Why don't you and the two babies come with me? We can have a barbecue." For the beginning of December it had been very warm today, warm enough for an early barbecue that could find its end in the living room on the couch or under a few blankets in the last sunshine of the day.
"We will have one, here."
"Okay." Most times they had their barbecues in Sofia's garden because it was bigger and everything was there.
"The girls will be here any time soon."
"The girls?" Sara almost jumped off the couch. Which girls? Why wasn't she informed about this change of plans? As far as she knew they had a barbecue with Greg and Sofia. Which girls were invited too?
"Yes, it's girl's night. I told Greg to stay out with the guys while we have fun of our own. A few friends will come over and…" The doorbell rang. "Here they are."
"I let them in and leave." Girl's night? That was worse than a double shift. Sara wasn't prepared and ready for this. She never was.
"What? Why?"
"Because." I left the light on in the fridge? My freezer is running? "….you don't need me when you have your girlfriends over." Sara got up. Don't look too much like you're a runaway. Leave the building steady, confident, don't show any fear, they might bite when you pass them at the door.
"Sara…"
"No, it's okay Jules."
"Sara…"
"We meet another day." When there weren't half a dozen strange women around.
"Why are you running away?"
"I'm not running away, I open the door." She wasn't running away, she walked away. Away from the girl's night and towards an evening in peace on her couch. With Sofia in her arms, a movie on, a beer. Perfect.
"Come back!"
"I will." Sara went to the door. "Another day."
"Sara Sidle!"
Sara ignored Jules, opened the door and managed a smile when she saw around half a dozen women between thirty and forty something in front of the door. The army of horror and she managed not to scream.
"Hi, Jules is on the couch, she can't move a lot. Come in." Give them all explanations and an order, ignore their comments and looks, close the door behind them – from the outside and be out of this. An evening with these women wasn't what Sara was after. It wasn't like she didn't like Jules's friends…okay, she couldn't stand most of them.
"If you don't come back right now it's your fault when a very, very, very pregnant woman has to drive a car to get you back!" Jules called out from the font door.
Sara stopped. Jules wasn't supposed to drive anymore, she could barely fit behind the steering wheel and…it wasn't good. The problem was, Sara knew her friend was serious about her threat.
"Jules…"
"Please. You don't have to worry about Sofia, she'll be fine to make her way here by herself. She can drive and she doesn't want you to worry all the time. Even when that's hard because you love her."
Great, now Jules offered her an excuse why she left and she called her back. Not the truth, a lie. A lie that doesn't make Sara look stupid like reality would.
"Okay." Did she have another choice? No.
"Thanks." Jules squeezed her hand for a second before she was surrounded by her friends; or like it looked for Sara: surrounded by gaggling and cackling geese. Taking her chance to be not in the center of attention anymore she vanished in the kitchen. If she had to stay she could make herself useful and prepare some of the salads. An evening with geese, she needed a lot of green food…and maybe a goose leg later. A thought she shouldn't have as a vegetarian.
