Author: Emilie (xbx16@cableone.net)
Disclaimer: Don't own um.
Distribution: My site, Http://www.emiliekitten.com
Rating: PG-13 *Major Angst and character Death(s)
Note: This is a future set. I don't mention Tara cause I didn't feel like it. Um. Yes.
This is for Shannon, you told me you couldn't stop listening to the song ;o)
~*~
I lay in her arms, Willow had always been the comfort for my life and now she would be the comfort for my death. She was crying and trying desperately to stop the blood, I wanted to smile but my mouth could only grimace in the pain. Xander was running, going to find help. Buffy was off to the side watching Willow and I, tears streaming down her bloodied face. She'd already lost Angel and Riley's corpse lay to the side of me.
"Oz, I'm so sorry." She cried hugging me close to her, rocking slightly.
I tried to find words, the wound in my chest was vibrating with pure pain. "Don't be."
"No but. . . god, if I. . if you hadn't ever known me. . . then. . you wouldn't have had to. . . " Her voice cracked and she closed her beautiful eyes. Blocking out their greenness from me, I wanted her to open them again.
"No. If I never knew you. . . what reason would there be. . for me to live?" I had to pause and take a deep breath, her eyes were open. They flickered around to the dead surrounded us, I knew I would join them before the sun rose.
"You've saved my life more times then I can count! All I ever could do was hurt you. . . Xander. . Tara. . . and then you go and be all brave and save me again! I'm not worth it Oz! Can't you see? I'm not! I was never worth your love." I moved my hand and grabbed hers, squeezing it. Wanting to wipe it off on something, not to mare her skin with my blood.
"You were always. . ." My breath was coming in short gasps, I knew the end was near. ". . worth it Will." I didn't want her to be going through this, she shouldn't have to feel pain for my death. I had given it gladly to save her, I would have done it a thousand times even the most painful death. I mean this wasn't the worst day to go, we'd saved the world. Maybe for the last time, hopefully things were safe.
We had given a lot in this battle. Anya, Riley, even Spike had died. I would be the fourth, hopefully our friends, loves, could go on without us. I'd sworn myself to protect Willow the moment I saw her at the bronze, I'd left to protect her and I'd left again to protect her. Yesterday I came back to do the same. I wanted to touch her hair, her face, kiss her one last time. Who will protect you now?
My mind couldn't grasp the thought of never knowing Willow Rosenberg, maybe it was fate that we lasted this long. Maybe its fate that I die now, so that I never have to try and find love with someone else, it would be unfair to that person I know. Pretending to love them, even though my heart is captured by her. Willow.
She would miss me, she would miss them all. Angel who had died months earlier trying to stop this day from happening, along with Wesley. She still had Buffy and Xander, even Cordelia was still around. Dealing with pain the only way she knew how, taking it out on someone else.
They would all deal with our leaving them eventually, they were the original Scooby gang, the only one missing was Giles but he's been long gone, sleeping peacefully as I will be soon, so very soon.
Willow was saying something to me, I wished I could understand the words rolling off her lips like the tears that shimmer on her face in the harsh pre-dawn light. Everything is starting to mist over though, my last vision is of the woman I love and I move my lips, trying to make her understand my last words.
'I love you.' They don't come out, but I know she hears them as I close my eyes and die. Orange and pink light falling over our personal battle field. We all go sometime, I hope that others deaths are as beautiful as my own.
~*~End~*~
