The Peter Trap, a Family Guy/SMonroeShow fanfiction

By

DonutJulio

The scenes fades into Peter walking into Meg's room, where Meg is on her computer. "Hey Meg,what cha watching there". He looks at the screen and sees what appears to be a cute girl talking about a video game called Dark Souls 2. "Huh, can't believe a girl this cute is into video games, back in my day the only thing women played with were my heart."

The scene cuts to a young Peter, crying on a bed uncontrollably. "I can't believe she rejected me, this sucks"! His mom comes in to comfort him. "Son, I'm so sorry, I know this is hard for you, but you gotta understand, I'm very flattered but, I'm your mother". Peter angrily responds "I just wanted some MILKIES"!

We return to Peter and Meg with responding "No Dad, this is a guy"."WHAT!", responds a shocked Peter. "Ya Dad, this is a cute guy named Monroe, he makes all kinds of videos about videos about games and lgbt issues". "Huh, thats interesting, but Meg, I never knew you to be into video games and lgbt issues, I've never even seen you touch a video game controller". Meg gets nervous. "Uh ya uh I like let's plays and stuff so I just like to watch him". She sees a copy of the Yaoi manga she was reading earlier and hastily grabs it and hides it. "This guy is actually pretty interesting to listen to" says Peter. "You think so? He also streams himself playing games, he's live right now, wanna watch"? "Sure", responds Peter. Meg goes onto twitch and turns on Monroe's stream, where he is currently on attempt 12390 of getting a Shiny Zapdos. Monroe says "Remember guys, the Holocaust was just raceplay".

We cut to Peter coming into his house sneaking a bag into his house. Lois suddenly walks up to him and says "Hey Peta, what's in the bag". "Oh nothing Lois it's just some books I got from the store hehehehehehe". Lois is shocked. "Books?! you don't read.", she says as she reaches for the bag. Peter tries to stop her. "No Lois please don't.", says Peter. He struggles to get the bag back and eventually it rips. Inside is some manga with what looks like cute girls on them. Lois looks angrily at Peter. "Peta what is this"? Peter responds "Lois it's okay these aren't girls okay? They're traps". "Traps?" responds Lois "What's that"? Just as she finishes asking the question, Stewie comes into the living room and interjects "Well Lois, you know those Bean Boozled Jelly Beans? Well imagine those but the guys are the jelly beans that aren't what they appear to be". Peter looks at him and says "Ya that's right, but Stewie, how do you know about traps"? Stewie nervously looks around and says "Uh I dunno I'm just hip with the kids man, I yeet on them kids on Fortnite yo, dab". As he finishes talking he runs up and steals one of the trap manga and runs away.

"I don't understand PetA" says Lois "Why are you looking at guys like this, you're not gay". Peter responds "That's right Lois, I'm not gay, cause if the guy is cute and wears a dress its not gay, if a guy is a trap, it isn't gay." Chris is walking by and hears this. "Dad!, you can't say that word"!. "What word?". "That t word!". "The?". "No". "That's?". "No!". "Trap?". "Yes dad you can't say that, it's a transphobic slur". Peter is surprised. "Son I'm not transphobic, remember that one time I had a trans woman over?".

The scene cuts to Peter having dinner with his family with a trans woman. "You know", says Peter, "I'm so glad that we can be together like this and celebrate our diversity and not judge people for who they want to be and what genitalia they were born with. After all, it is the current year.". The woman responds "I have a penis". Peter responds "hehehehe, that's good".

We cut back to Chris saying "Dad you can't just say that word, it leads to trans women getting hurt, here I'll show you a video to prove it". Chris leads his father to his room and loads a video on YouTube. As the video loads, an incredibly deep voice emanates from the speakers. "Hey guys, it's the PedanticRomantic here...".

We cut to Peter storming into Stewies room and taking the trap manga from him. "I'm taking this transphobic filth out of here, I won't have this hurting trans women any more heathen". Meg sees this and says "Dad what are you doing, there's nothing transphobic about traps". Thats not true", says Peter, "this filth is why trans women can't sleep at night, but they needn't fear any longer, for I am here to save them from people calling cute anime trans girls guys". Meg responds "Dad that's nonsense". "Whatever trans phobe" responds Peter. As he finishes talking he pepper sprays Meg in the face and runs away. Meg lies on the floor crying while Stewie watches looking bored for a full 2 minutes in an overly long unfunny gag. When the gag is finally over, Stewie says, "I think I know someone who can solve this".

Later, we see Peter on a computer. "Hehehehe, this will show those twitter transphobes, I'm sure me freaking out at them will change their mind, they surely will reflect on their ways now that I've retreated and blocked them". Peter hears a knock on his door. "Ah yes, this must be Pedantic personally coming to congratulate me for doing God's work". As he opens the door he is surprised to see the queen(king) of transphobes himself, Dimitri Monroe. Peter angrily exclaims "You! What are you yo doing here?". Monroe responds "Hey Beter I understand that you seem to have misconstrued trap as being a trans slur, when that is simply not the case". He continues, "Trap is just slang for a feminine guy, I mean I'm a trap and I'm not trans, I'm just a guy that licks dick and puffy vulva's okay? So please, just stop this nonsense. Sure some trans people use the term to describe themselves, but they mostly do that as a joke. So again. Please stop this".

Peter looks down and says "You're right Monroe, I've been dumb, liking traps is not transphobic, it's all good fun". He thinks for a second "Wait a second Monroe, I never even messaged you in specific, how did you know about me". Monroe responds "Oh Stewie kidnapped my girlfriend and told me to talk to you". Kira screams loudly from Stewies closet in the other room, "Let me out! It smells like diapers in here!". Monroe then looks to Peter and says "Oh yeah another thing, liking trap is totally gay you homo". Peter thinks to himself and says "Oh yeah I guess you're right". Lois walks in and Peter says to her "Lois I'm gay and I want a divorce".

THE END