[Obviously, I don't own anything from Harry Potter or the Marauder's time.]
The Secrets We Keep to Survive
Secrets
Secrets.
Everyone has them. No matter what your age may be, where you are, what stage of life your in, or if you're famous or a commoner; you have a secret.
It doesn't matter what you've done, they are still secrets. Whether its things such as cheating on an exam or cheating on someone, everybody in the world has secrets that are buried deep within them, eating them alive.
Lets take my mates for example.
No matter how much she's denied it the past seven years, no matter how much she may yell and curse him, my best girlfriend –Lily Evans- fancies the living bugger out of James Potter.
How about my one of my dearest friends while I was at Hogwarts: Remus Lupin. On the outside, he is every bit of a gentleman. But his sweet deposition cannot hide what he becomes every full moon: a werewolf.
Let's try my brother, yeah? He's a brilliant, twenty year old Auror and afraid of commitment, especially with this horrible, dark war looming. But a fortnight ago I went to his flat in London to visit and I found him cuddled up on his sofa with this lovely blonde. I confronted him the next day and he admitted to having been with this girl for over six months, but he refused to tell anyone for her safety.
Now I'm sure you may be wondering what my secret is, right? Well get ready to be surprised, because I've got loads of them.
When I was a fifth year at Hogwarts, I cheated on my boyfriend of the time with his best friend.
You may be thinking 'oh, that's not too bad, everyone has mishaps', but I'm afraid my mishap was completely life altering.
At the time, I was steadily dating James Potter. Yes, the same James Potter my best friend happens to be in love with (although she refuses to admit it). James and I grew up together as children and around the time we turned fifteen, our hormones took over, so we decided to give it a go as a couple.
Sounds innocent, right?
Wrong.
James and I also decided that we would be each others firsts. And yes, when I say firsts, I mean first lover.
Looking back, I don't regret losing my virginity to James. We were both inexperienced and took care of each other. It wasn't rushed or forced or anything of the sorts; it was sort of sweet and innocent.
But alas, James was a fifteen year old bloke with raging hormones, so after we did it the first time, we could hardly wait to get into each others pants again.
Enter Sirius Black.
Even at our young age, Sirius was the best looking bloke in all of Hogwarts. His reputation as a ladies man was very much deserved and he seemed to have this charm about him that could make anyone fall for him.
Enter me, Valerie Collins.
I still blame the bloody Firewhiskey for making me sleep with Sirius; that and the fact that Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup for the third straight year in a row. The common room was roaring with people, the music was loud, and the alcohol was plentiful.
James had been celebrating and singing loudly on some of the study tables with a few members of the team when Sirius came over to where I stood and started flirting.
I am ashamed to admit, but I let his good looks get the best of me. The next thing I knew, he was leading me outside of the Common Room and down the corridors to an empty classroom.
To say that Sirius Black wasn't a good shag would be a terrible lie. He was fantastic, but given the drunken state we were in, neither of us seemed to even think about using protection.
The next morning I woke up feeling guilty, so I rushed to James' room to make sure he didn't know about what happened with Sirius and I. Thankfully, he was passed out in his bed and when I woke him up, he was more than happy to see me. One thing led to another and James and I ended up shagging.
I'm sure that I sound like a complete and utter slag right about now, but I promise you that I was simply a girl needing to be loved. I look back now, almost two years later, and realize how desperate I was for attention and how I longed for the love of a man after my own father walked out on my mum and I when he found out I was a witch as well.
But I'm getting off topic. You may be thinking 'oh well, this bird just happened to drunkenly shag her boyfriend's best mate, big deal'.
But, it is indeed a BIG deal.
Because three weeks after that incident I didn't get my period. And three weeks later, my whole world changed.
I was a pregnant fifteen year old witch. I had no idea what to do, so naturally I confided in my best friend and Headmaster. Professor Dumbledore agreed that it would be best if I left Hogwarts at Spring holiday in April, two and half months along in my pregnancy, to take care of myself and my current situation.
So I did just that. Two days before I was set to leave, I broke up with James. He was completely devastated and confused, but I refused to tell him the truth behind my departure. I returned back home to my supportive mother and continued my education with the help of daily owls from Dumbledore.
I still managed to finish my fifth and sixth year, and ten months ago, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, Addison Collins.
Now, with all that being said, my mum and I (as well as Dumbledore) have found it fitting that I return to Hogwarts for my seventh and final year.
I'm not nervous or anything. I still managed to keep in touch with Lily and Remus these past two years, so I know I will still have mates when I return.
My biggest fear?
Dealing with James and Sirius.
Because to this day, I still have no idea which one is Addison's father.
Currently re-editing this and taking it a different direction...updates will be more frequent and I'm really excited about where I'm going to take this! ^.^
-CS
