REAL QUICK FIRST: The first 8 or 9 chapters were all written before I uploaded this, so I'm just gonna post them all at once. I plan to write actual responses in my Preambles and Footnotes to your comments and whatnot in the future. Also, as opposed to my current pattern due to my schedule as of late, I'm going to try and reply to people's reviews when they leave them. Thanks!

Preamble:

Thanks muchly to TheJadedDolphin for reposting this story. You two are so charming. :D

My fiancée read the first ten chapters of this story to me over the phone, and I was literally crying with laughter. For the last three days, I've been plagued by ideas that I've had to create an OC and insert them into this crazy, horribly illiterate world, so that's what I did.

I kind of feel guilty for making fun of Tara so much, because she is a real person out there somewhere, but I'm going to end up doing a lot of it, so I hope I make enough people laugh to make up for it. I also hope you won't label me as an asshole for this! XD

Anywho, I wanted to create a character that was sort of a compilation of my favorite traits in characters, much as Ebony (Enoby, Eboby, Ebooby, Egoby, etc.) is to Tara, without it becoming a Mary-Sue. However, my favorite kind of character tends to lean towards realism to a fair degree, so I hope I don't eff this up too badly. I also plan to insert myself in bold a little if I find that I can't restrain myself, and I'm going to try and replicate Tara's organizational format to the best of my abilities, except a lot more verbose and detailed.

Also, my character is a guy, because that's just funnier.

Please tell me what you think! :D

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter franchise is property of J.K. Rowling, who I am not. "My Immortal" the fanfic is property of Tara Gilepsi (I think that's how it's spelled…), though she probably doesn't have a copyright on it. At least, I hope not.

Also, you should probably read "My Immortal" before you read this.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! (Aww, how adorable and obligatorily heterosexual. I am under the impression that her buddy Raven may have intentionally mucked up the spelling just to mess with Tara. That, or she is perhaps less literate than Tara.)

Hello, my name is Adrian Henry Dufrane, and I wear glasses and have long, tawny colored hair (kind of a dirty caramel color really, like the kind of dust that builds up on old appliances in your garage when you live on a dirt road), that falls erratically in my face and is usually rather unkempt, no matter how aggressively I brush it—I usually keep it in a ponytail for that reason—and it hangs down to the middle of my back. I have sleepy brown eyes like a Hershey bar half-burnt, half covered in what is hopefully peanut butter, and a lot of people tell me that I look like Brad Pitt, but I sincerely believe that they are joking. I look more like Angelina than Brad. I'm not related to Andy Dufrane from The Shawshank Redemption because he is, of course, a fictional character created by Stephen King, but I wish I was related to him because Stephen King is a literary god among men and that would make me one of this privileged children. I am a human and my teeth are straight, a bit off-color, but pearly for the most part. I have pale white skin (with some freckles, red patches due to my allergies, and the occasional blackhead). I'm also a wizard, and I go to a magic school in England called Hogwarts, at which I am currently attending my seventh year. (I'm seventeen years, four months, twenty-one days, sixteen hours, eleven minutes, and fifty-eight seconds old. Fifty-nine seconds. Twelve minutes and zero seconds. One second.) I'm a Steampunk guy (as far as fashion goes. My general interests are actually pretty well-rounded) and I wear mostly beige, green, gold, black, and brown, because I think it looks good with my skin and hair. I love Goodwill and I buy my clothes from there, along with a lot of other useless junk that I enjoy tinkering with. For example, today I was wearing a soft yellow dress shirt, a black vest, white pants, a pair of brown lace-up boots with about half and inch of extra heel that I wear over my pants (because I feel like an eighteenth-century British soldier like that, and it makes me feel cool), and a black ribbon tied around the elastic band in my hair.

I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining—which, if happening simultaneously, is called sleeting—so there was no sun [clearly visible behind the heavy clouds], which I was sort of depressed about because it meant that my stony dungeon dorm room wasn't going to be very warm that evening. A lot of preps stared at me. I'm not quite sure what a prep is, which led this analysis of them to confuse me, because I had labeled them a term that I did not even know the meaning of. I suppose…we can call them unnecessarily judgmental people, for the sake of simplicity. UJPs for short. A lot of UJPs were staring at me, but based on their nondescript stares, I couldn't really tell if they were UJPs at all. Most of them I smiled at, and a few I waved to, assuming that their inquisitive looks were just benignly curious. Several waved back pleasantly.

I probably should also mention a few other important things about myself before this goes too far into more recollection of events. When I was eleven years old, a situation saturated with peer pressure led me to start smoking, which was incredibly stupid of me, and I have been ever since. I've been trying to quit since I was fifteen, but the stress of managing school, being away from my family here, and the whole threat of the Dark Lord lurking around every corner has made it quite difficult. As of today, it's been two months since I've had a cigarette. I've been feeling absolutely awful some days and I've gained about eight pounds at least from all the snack-substituting I've been doing, but I'm very proud of myself.

I've also been battling with my sexuality since I was old enough to care about those things, but my parents are pretty indifferent on the subject and at this time, I don't classify myself on either definite end of the "gay or straight" spectrum.

"Hey Adrian!" A voice shouted, inclining me to look up. Draco Malfoy was hurrying over to me from across the lawn.

"Hello, Draco," I greeted. "What's up?"

"Nothing." he replied shyly, though I was curious as to why he was so timid. He lacked a lot of the cocky arrogance that usually defined his spoiled personality. Not to mention that he was behaving weirdly bashful for having already known me the entire seven years we'd gone to Hogwarts together. We were in the same house after all.

I was going to offer a reply, but several of my friends were calling me from within the building. Not wanting to ignore an obligation to my closest comrades, I said a polite, chipper goodbye to Draco and hurried back inside, guilty to leave him but incredibly thankful to be out of that awful sleet.

Today's rewrite was brought to you by the letter 2 and the word SLEET.

Please review! :D