Food For Thought

Sesshy's Mistress

Summary: Random collection of instances where Usagi's mouth has placed her into the center of attention, the source of all trouble, or made her regret ever opening it. Collection of one-shots, story ideas up for adoption, and/or future ideas…

Current Delimma –er… situation: Usagi is giving James advice on finally taking the leap and asking out Lily, before a certain Slytherin has time to snatch her away…


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"Just do it!" Usagi sighed as she slammed her silver ware atop the table. James had spent the past thirty minutes stealing glances at the one and only, Lily Evans. Though he believed himself to be sly in his observances, he failed to realize that he had been ignoring his friends for the past thirty minutes, especially one Usagi Tsukino who had an interesting tale to tell.

"Usagi," Remus warned, knowing that the girl had grated on James' nerves one too many times in the past over the same subject. "Maybe it would be best if you left it alone." His tone was suggestive, but his gaze was stern. It was an order if she ever heard one. The one thing that she didn't like was being ordered around.

"No," Usagi huffed. She reached out to pinch James' arm and twist the skin. This gained his attention as he jumped in his seat and let out a loud cry, drawing the attention from nearby tables and their patrons. "Finally!" She sighed.

"What the bloody hell was that for?!" James demanded and questioned at the same time. He was rubbing the spot that would surely bruise.

"You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?" Usagi questioned in irritation. She leaned her elbow on the table and propped her chin against her fisted hand. She cocked one eyebrow at him expectantly, and wasn't surprised to have received a blank look in response.

Sighing, she retrieved her silverware and began to eat. All the while, Usagi was pretending as if what she had been saying was not a big deal. "Oh, it wasn't anything important." She spoke between bites. "I was just telling you about some idle gossip I had heard recently concerning your darling Lily." She shrugged, but mentally she danced at having caught James' undivided attention.

She also managed to receive glares from his other two friends, plus one side kick, the chubby, rat faced boy she could never remember the name of to save her life. Remus and Sirius both knew she was up to something.

"What about her?" James tried to pretend he wasn't interested, but his friends knew him too well. Usagi knew him better than he would have liked, honestly.

"Well," Usagi drawled as she rolled her eyes in his direction and leaned closer. She brought her hand up to cover her words from other possible peeping and viewing 'toms.' "I heard that Severus Snape asked her to the dance and she is giving it considerable thought. Chasity, the girl from first year, overheard your darling Lily discussing attire for that evening…"

"Usagi-" Remus readied himself to interrupt. The girl had not been speaking of anything of the sort; however, before he could manage another word, she delivered a swift kick to his knee, causing him to cry out in pain. More attention was drawn to the Gryffindor table.

"Now you know –" Sirius began as well, but since he was on Usagi's right side, due to losing his seat because he had arrived late to supper, she was able to stuff a roll into his mouth. She did this all without taking her eyes off of James who looked shocked, angry, confused, and torn.

"So you need to just man up, grow a pair of balls, and ask her out already!" Usagi finally got to her point. "You watch her all the time and I have even seen you writing her name on your parchment. Hell, one time I caught you drooling in your sleep while talking about her!" Usagi counted off the instances that backed up her suggestions. If James didn't like Lily and want to ask her out, then Usagi would kiss Malfoy.

"Usagi, shut up," James hissed when several eyes from their table darted in their direction. It was obvious that her words had been heard by those nearby. James couldn't control the flush that lit his face. Oh, how he could strangle her right now.

"Great," James muttered as one of the Gryffindor girls moved to Lily's side and began to whisper. This caused the red head to turn and catch his eyes. His breath hitched. "Oh God," He groaned. That other girl had been sitting close enough to hear what Usagi's big mouth had to say.

"Besides," Usagi continued, grinning at the exchange between the two. "It's not like you would be asking her to put out on the first date," Usagi popped a chocolate drop into her mouth, completely oblivious to the stares she received and the three glares boring into her being. "Sirius is the playboy in your trio," She reminded with a grin and a wink.

James looked completely mortified as Usagi stood and prepared to leave. She started to walk away, all the while waving goodbye. As she came to the end of the table, she stopped, turned, cupped her hands around her mouth, and yelled, "Lily, JAMES WANTS YOUR BABIES!"

The entire great hall fell into silence as Usagi hurriedly left the room, dodging curses all the way.


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Finals are killing me… ay… and I have my exam for NACES Monday, doctors appointment Tuesday, and I leave for NY Thursday of next week. Shoo, what a week that will be, haha!

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Also, leave me crossovers you would like to see. I will fulfill the requests if I am familiar with the crossover. You may also leave a word or phrase that I could incorporate into the next shot :)

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Sesshy's Mistress

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