Shizune's Plight DISCLAIMER – I do not own either Naruto or any of its characters.

Another dreary afternoon, snail-paced, running her feet into the ground following Lord Tsunade's barked and unreasonable requests. Trying her hardest to move quickly without breaking her feet in ridiculously high heels (part of the mandatory uniform when working with the vain Blondie, as she called her), Shizune spilt several drops of boiling tea on her hand, and drenched the sleeve of her robe.

'Ouch!'

What a pain. What a big fat annoying pain in the backside. But it wouldn't be so bad if Tsunade actually said Thank You once in a while, or How are you, Shizune? But no; these days it was all about Sakura Haruno. She was irritating too, thinking just because she cut her own hair off with a knife that she was some kind of child heroine. A real fighter. Short hair was Shizune's style, anyway.

She was rubbing the sleeve of her robe in a vain attempt to dry the wet patches when she reached Tsunade's door, laden with a tray of tea, rice-cakes and some pig food for Tonton. Who the hell has a pet pig anyway? she thought. Shizune loved pork. Deciding simply to keep her arm behind her back as best she could, Shizune knocked on the door; a feeble, modest rap.

'What is it?'

'M'Lady, I have your supper'.

'Well come in then, Shizune. Don't keep me waiting too long, I'll starve'.

She opened the door gently, and walked in. There she was, at her desk as always. Head in her hands, perturbed by the smallest amount of paperwork. She never was very organised. Shizune put the tray on the desk, a barrier between the student and the master, constantly elevating Tsunade, and always demeaning Shizune. I might have to take a leaf out of Shikamaru's book one of these days, she thought, This is all such a drag.

'M'Lady, Team Kurenai have returned from their mission in the Land Hidden in the Grass. It was a success, no hiccups at all'

'Mm'.

'I've filed their reports for you, as well as those late ones from Teak Kakashi. I figured you had enough on your hands as it is'.

'Yes'.

This was about as close to dialogue Shizune and her master ever came, unless the poor girl did something to frustrate Tsunade. Then she always had plenty to say. Or rather, plenty to scream. Shizune secretly thought she ought to see a shrink of some kind; one of those psycho-therapists who can relax the mind. While she was away, Shizune could take over as Deputy Hokage... Wouldn't that be nice...

'Shizune, get your fat head out of the clouds! I said this tea is too cold, I need another, pronto'.

Shizune sighed. 'Yes M'Lady'.

A break at last. Tsunade was taking a thoroughly deserved nap, and Shizune was free to do as she pleased (in other words, walking Tonton) for at least an hour.

The pig was strutting along beside her as she browsed the market stalls, casting a lazy eye over goods she could never afford to buy; not on her salary. The wind breezed gently through her hair, whispering secrets in the ears of the leaf village. Somewhere close by, it brought with it words of courage and zest to Naruto Uzumaki, inspiring him to fight on. To all the leaf ninja, in fact, it seemed to bring a spark of confidence, of enthusiasm. But not to Shizune. To her, it brought a fresh tide of bitter jealousy of the world and all its people. Always there were those who stole centre-stage; Naruto, Sasuke, even Sakura when she fought with that old hag Chiyo with the puppets, and all the while Shizune was the one operating the curtain. Never able to shut them out for long...

Tonton suddenly gave an irate squeal – apparently it was hungry again. Now that she thought of it, Shizune was pretty famished, as well. Her stomach growled painfully even as the thought passed through her mind.

'Come on, piggy, let's find somewhere to eat'. The pig licked its lips, smudging the freshly applied, vulgar lipstick Tsunade had given it.

Ichiraku Ramen was closed. So was the BBQ. Great, thought Shizune, just what I need. A shrieking stomach to compliment Tsunade's loud trap. She sighed.

'Tonton?' The pig, which she was holding in her arms, turned to her with vicious, squinting eyes, angered by hunger, 'Doesn't... Doesn't Tsunade's... harsh attitude ever bother you?' Tonton's fat eyes narrowed even further. Shizune stumbled on her words. Was the pig going to snitch? 'I mean... I... Not that I have a problem with her. I'm just thinking about how she treats you'. The pig seemed to sniff blasphemy, and tried to wriggle out of Shizune's grip. She let it down, and it stomped its trotter on the ground, as though enraged. It seemed to want to stand its own ground, ready to defend its mistress.

Shizune had to repress laughter when Tonton began ranting in far-from-impressive oinks. However, after the first couple of minutes, it grew tedious. 'Come on, Tonton, I didn't mean it like – Ow!'

Attempting to pick the pig up again, Tonton had bitten Shizune's hand, and drawn blood. 'Tonton! That hurt!' It gave a vindicated sneer, and unexpectedly, Shizune had an epiphany. An epiphany of fury. She could wipe this pig out in a split second if she wanted to. It was barely ten inches tall, and it was wearing lipstick for Christ's Sake. Maybe she ought to get a little payback on Tsunade by giving her favourite pet a good kick-in. The thought amused Shizune.

'Tonton, I want you to apologise'.

The pig glared adamantly, heedless of Shizune's ominous growl. She was asking a pig to say sorry. What was happening to the world? She slowly brought her hands together, preparing for a very unusual hand-sign. Her stomach growled.

'Barbecue Style! ROAST PORK JUTSU!'

Shizune loved a bit of pork. Her cheeks shone a healthy rose colour as she munched on the succulent meat. Revenge was sweet. Little did she know, Sakura had been watching the whole thing from a nearby alleyway, on her way to ask Tsunade for extra lessons on bringing fish back to life... because everybody wants a live salmon...

'Roast... pork... jutsu?'

Shizune turned round so fast, she almost cricked her neck. She tried to gasp, but made no sound, merely clogging her throat with Tonton's remains. She spluttered, and it was a few seconds before she could utter a word of surprise.

'Sakura... what are you doing here?'

'I could ask you the same thing', said Sakura, in her constantly fluctuating, insufferable tone. She smirked, 'I didn't realise you had that jutsu. It's very... unique. I guess it explains the size of your waist well enough'.

Shizune felt her face flush crimson. So she hadn't seen?

'I was just going to visit Lady Tsunade. What are you doing out here, Shizune? Shouldn't you be attending your mistress?'

'She's taking her midday nap, Sakura. Like always'. Humph, the little kiss-ass couldn't beat Shizune when it came to Tsunade trivia, at least. She finally managed to swallow the last of the pork, sighing quietly.

'Well, where's Tonton? I know Tsunade always entrusts you with her beloved pet when she can't be around'.

Hmm, this could be tricky, thought Shizune. Her palms were beginning to sweat, and her heart thumped loudly against her chest. Sakura was an annoying little cow, but she was one of the Leaf's brightest Chunin. Surely she'd work out what had happened.

Shizune didn't even have time to consider a plan. Sakura's eyes suddenly widened in horror as she saw Tonton's half burned coat lying in the dirt. Stupid, thought Shizune. Stupid! Well, there was nothing for it. She'd just have to keep up her mean streak until this all blew over.

'You killed Tonton!', squealed Sakura, in what Shizune thought was a brilliant impression of the late swine.

'Yep', she replied.

'Aiyeeeh! I can't believe it! I always knew you were a fat little porker, but I didn't think you'd actually eat Tsunade's pig!'

'Who are you calling fat, billboard brow? Your giant head's twice the size of my waist!

'I'm going to tell the Hokage about this!' cried Sakura, turning to run down the street, 'She's going to murder you!'

'Just try it, Sakura. Poison smog jutsu!'.

Shizune belched out a cloud of highly toxic gas, which enveloped the whole street in its acrid embrace. She could see nothing, and didn't know whether she'd hit her target. Now, it seemed her heart was throwing itself against her rib-cage. Had she really just killed Sakura, too?

'Try again!' Shizune was thrown against the ground as Sakura landed on her, her knees forcing Shizune's face into the dirt. 'Cherry Blossom Clash!'

A substitution saved Shizune's head from being crushed. She was behind Sakura now, and took from the pocket of her robe, a tiny, almost invisibly thin needle. Sakura jumped aside, seeing the danger, and so Shizune only pricked the skin of the back of her left thigh. Not enough to kill; just to paralyse. Sakura stumbled a few feet away, using a brick wall to support herself. She growled; 'I don't know what's got into you, Shizune, but I'm about to stop it. I hope you're ready!'

'For what? Are you going to stop me, like you stopped Sasuke?'

Sakura gasped. Even Shizune was surprised at her own spitefulness.

'That was a low blow, whale-waist. I'm gonna mess you up for that one!' She roared furiously, and did her best to run forward, though she looked near to falling over. However, Shizune's needle had had no effect on her monstrous fists, and she felt it best to deal with her quickly.

'Poison Needle Storm!' Shizune saw the tiny toxic needles cover Sakura's entire body, before the giant, gloved fist connected with her face, throwing her backwards at an alarming speed into the BBQ.

There was dust everywhere, and Shizune's head was ringing, smothering all other sounds and making her nauseous. The BBQ building's wall had completely collapsed, and the restaurant was half-destroyed on the inside. Nevertheless, Shizune was still conscious, because she was a ninja. Sakura, however, lay dead upon the floor, looking like a fervently abused voodoo doll with all the needles sticking out of her.

'Oh god' hissed Shizune. Well, at least the BBQ hadn't been open; that could have been problematic. She stood up, the ringing beginning to fade away, and walked over to the body. As she approached, Sakura coughed. Crap! She wasn't dead. Shizune was just about to take another needle from her robe when the girl spoke, in a cracked and desperate voice.

'I love you, Sasuke'. Then her body went rigid, and she died.

'Oh gawd Sakura, even with your dying breath you had a to be a sentimental loser'. Shizune had decided she got quite a kick out of imposing her power on people – though perhaps she'd gone a tad too far this time.