DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own ANY Digimon characters. HOWEVER, I do own Alina. and the other characters made up belong to friends.

If you do not like the talk of drug abuse, death and sever profanity, I suggest you do not read this.

Do not get offended if you find that some characters are OOC.
This is my take on it.
Please dont be hating on spelling and grammer


It was raining. The beads of water smacked against the empty street. And that's where she lay. She was cold. But she did not shiver. She was hungry, but she stayed silent. Her last cigarette lay underneath her hand as she stared at it, tears trimming her eyes. She knew what was happening. And she was glad for it.

"That's it. I'm leaving, and I hope I never see any of you again!"

That memory replayed in her mind like an overrated movie. Slowly she blinked as more tears came. That was the last thing she said. The last thing. It was torture to think of that memory.

"Val, we're only trying to help."

She remembered why she left. It was a stupid reason. She was so stupid. How could she let something like that do her in? She gave a violent shake as more memories flooded back, and in full, rather than previews.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to pay our last respects. Takeru Takahashi was one who loved life, for all that it
could bring. All the experiences." Valariey was already crying. He was her first love. And now? Now..
"Mr. Takahashi was surrounded by friends and family." She gave a loud sob and clung to her friends shoulder as she
couldn't take anymore. Everyone was crying. Even the heavens, as it started to rain.

That was only two years ago. Only two. She was a couple months pregnant then. That was stupid too. How could she do that? Try and bring more life into the unforgiving world. Such a stupid, stupid, foolish girl.

"Val, Val. Please calm down. Valariey." He reached out and grabbed onto her tiny body as it shook with rage and
sorrow."Shhh. Val, shhh."

"Matt." Her voice was barely a whisper, "Its gone. Its gone!" She couldn't take anymore, and fell to her knees along with
her fiancée. "its gone..."

After that moment, she felt dead. She was emotionless, only showing her pain and anger. How could the world treat her so unfairly? Hadn't she had enough of that shit when she was younger? Didn't she deserve to have joy?

"Val? Baby? Are you okay?" Matt was kneeling while she sat on the couch. She turned her head away from him and didn't
answer. After waiting a while, he sighed and stood up, "Love you Val."

She was a wreck, and who would stay with a wreck like her out of love? But she knew. Oh she knew. He was with other girls. She never blamed him though. She knew he was only with her out of pity and to make sure she didn't hurt herself. But she did anyway.

The bathroom was a mess. Bottles were spilt all over the floor and sink. She sat inside the empty tub holding the razor in
onehand shaking. She was nervous. Could she really do it?
"Valariey!" She felt arms wrap around her and hold her into a tight hug. But then slowly and carefully, he pulled away the
razor from her hand. Then suspiciously looked down at her arm. She couldn't look at him. She felt as though she betrayed
him every time he found another scar.

Now she knew, after the damage taken. It wasn't necessary to do that. But it felt as though there was no way out. And she always hated the idea of living in cages. After Matt found her in the bathroom, she stopped. She needed to break away from that. She needed another form of release.

"Here darling, this'll do you good." She didn't know the man, but still she took the brown package and quickly stuffed it in
her purse.

"How much?" Her voice was low and her eyes darted.

"Free. But when you run out, come back to me." He looked around to make sure the coast was clear, and then he walked
away into the night.

Ha, free. That was a laugh. Sure it may have been free the first time. But that's the hook. The line and sinker is the addiction and the price. At first it was only ecstasy, then she experimented with hash, cocaine and heroin. Her favorite was the cocaine. It didn't leave a nasty mark on her arm. And it wasn't that expensive. With cocaine, she got some of her emotions back. She felt anger, and sometimes happiness, but it was never the same as it was when it was innocent.

She was walking down the hall crying. "Ali, what's wrong?"
"You've got to stop the drugs Val." Her voice was sympathetic and caring, but a little strained.
"Why are you crying?"
"You dont know how much damage your doing to yourself."
She was starting to get angry that her friend was ignoring her so she raised her voice. "Why are you crying!"
"Its nothing!"
"Bullshit! Why are you crying?"
"Because Davis left me okay? He left me for you." She'd never seen her friend so bitter before as her last statement showed
her raw misery. "He said he wanted to help."

Her heart broke that day. Not for herself, but for Ali. She could see why she was angry. But she didn't see why he would leave her. Especially for someone like herself. Yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get off the drug. And from there on, her emotions was like a roller coaster.

"This is chicken right?" That was the third time she asked about the chicken.
"Mal. Shut the fuck up!" She snapped at her friend from the couch.
"Hey! I was just asking a question!"
"Like you always do you dumb cunt." She really didn't want to fight with her friend, but she always got on her nerves and
it was about time she stopped.
"Shut the fuck up you mopey bitch."
That was it. She leapt up from the couch and gave her a hard punch to the side of the head.

Tai had to break them up that time. She didn't know why she let her anger take control like she did, but a part of her enjoyed what happened. To see herself finally doing what she thought of doing, it felt nice. And she knew that it was the drug that did that to her. It was always the drug.

"Why?" Marina sat beside her long time friend out on the back balcony.
They sat in silence a while as Valariey took another puff of her cigarette. "Maybe, maybe I'm trying to keep a little part of
him alive."

Then it was no excuse, she told the truth. When she did the drugs that he often favored, she felt like a part of him was alive inside her. But she knew now that it wasn't like that at all, it was just some poor ass excuse. Just like her life. Her life seemed to attract all the bad in the world. Every heartache, every loss, every death, everything.

"Matt." She was clean of drugs for the time being, but she would need one after this.
"Yea?"
"I think we should break up."
"No, Val. I want to stay with you." He looked at her with fear in his blue eyes.
"Its over."

She couldn't tell him why she wanted to break up with him. She was destroying him. He watched her almost every hour of the day. He looked after her, and tried to help her with the addiction. That was the thing. He looked after her so much that he couldn't take care of himself properly. She was killing him slowly. She needed to be away from people so her virus couldn't spread. But it didn't seem to matter what she wanted anymore. Her friends where always with her, even if she tried to pick a fight.

Mess. That's all it was in this God-forsaken house. She lived alone. Well she tried to pretend anyway.
"Dont touch that!" Her voice was harsh and raspy from the late nights and the constant drug abuse.
"Val, we need to clean up. At least a little" He spoke gently, as if his voice could break her.
"I said dont touch that! I want it there!"
Tai sighed and shook his head while he continued to clean up
"Fuck!" Her ever sensitive temper snapped as she chucked an empty bottle of rum at her friend.

Looking back, it was obvious that when no one would fight back with her, it made her feel empty and not important. She was sure that everyone was immune to all her antics, and that angered her as well. Now, now it only seemed sensible. Everyone knew that after this whole experience, things would change forever. Even if Valariey got off the addiction and sobered up. It wasn't going to be possible to go back the way it was. Never go back. As Valariey lay in the puddle now forming around her head, she tried with all her effort to draw that cigarette up to her lips. One last puff before it went out. The cigarette always reminded her of him.

"Just let me try!" She gave a fake whine and pouted her lips.
"Trust me, you wont like it." He stood against the wall, taking another drag of the death stick.
"Oh, come on! Just one?" She gave the best lost and lonely puppy dog look she could give. She really wanted totry the
foreign smokes. The ones that smelt good.
He sighed and reluctantly handed over the smoke. Once she took a drag mimicking her first love she started hacking.
"Told you, you wouldn't like it!"

Another tear came to her eye. God, was that all she remembered him by? She was so tired of being bad, being wrong, and everything else. She didn't want to be remembered as a quitter, but it felt as though she couldn't go on. Her body was decaying from all the chemicals. She didn't want to give up. Oh God, why did she leave the house. All her friends where there, they would've taken care of her. She'd be laying in a bed in the hospital, needles and tubes stuck everywhere. But she would be recovering. After she got out of the hospital she knew that her friends would sign her into a rehab of some sort. But no, she had to be reckless and stupid. Who needs friends? She did. She needed them more than she ever knew. Now what? Now she's only going to cause them more pain when one of them finds her. She prayed to God that they wouldn't find her like this. She didn't know if she was ready for this, but that didn't seem to matter as is came all too quickly. Now, she knew no more. Remembering nothing as she slipped into a dark abyss

She lay on an empty street, with droplets of water pounding against her entire body. She lay not far from the bridge out of town where someone surely would have seen her, but she lay on a quiet and deserted street. The lamplights shone as it outlined the bottom half of her body. A cigarette was pulled up to her lips and the rest of her body was pulled tight, obviously looking for some warmth and protection. And that's how he found her.

"VALARIEY!" He ran quickly over to her, dialing 9-11 on the way.

/End