I do not own Inuyasha


Alone and in utter contentment, Kagome was in the heart of Inuyasha's Forest going about her normal duties of the day. She was expediently and gleefully finishing off her last task, and stopped to take the time to expound in her mind upon how lucky she is to be where she was in that present moment. Who would have thought all her escapades in the feudal era would lead her to making it her permanent place of residence.

Same city, different time.

Thoughts like these always ended up making her feel plain out gitty, thinking about how things turned out. So with a signature arm pump once… then twice, she revels in her new idea of home.

No more struggling between worlds, no more 'demon tests' as her beloved always called them, and speaking of her beloved there was no more desperate loneliness. Here with her feudal family, Sango and Miroku, Kaede, Shippo, and her Inuyasha, this was where she belonged.

She would be the first to admit things changed quite a bit since she had been away those three long agonizing years. Sango and Miroku were well on their way to building their own baseball team, 'not that they knew what that was', she thought to herself. Shippo was not the little sapling attached to them anymore, he had grown into his own, a demon that would have made his parents proud if they could see him now. Kohoku had returned to the right minded young boy he once was, at least as much as that was possible. Choosing to be brave and make amends in his own way by his far off travels to areas still plagued with reckless demons. And Inuyasha was well… her Inuyasha. He had stayed the same, all brazen, good looks, and youthful yet changed, changed into what she had hoped and prayed for all along. It was now she understood why people say absence makes the heart grow fonder, or at least makes you realize what you had until it was gone. She was gone, thought to be lost on the other side of time, only to be returned and Inuyasha was all the more grateful for her, and has continued to show it everyday since. But the major change in the crew was the new addition of one.

Rin.

Sesshomaru's Rin. To her surprise Sesshomaru had allowed Rin to stay and live amongst humans. But he hadn't abandoned her, he had made frequent visits to her during the three years she was gone… but shortly after her arrival back into the feudal era he all but disappeared from her life, she had not seen him since that first encounter she had when she first came back. And if he ever did manage to see to his wards welfare he was going to be in for a shock. A change had came over Rin, and unfortunately, as Kagome started heading back to her quaint village home, she was afraid that the Rin Sesshomaru left behind five years ago, was gone forever.


"Rin, don't you think that your first blow was enough to dispose of the demon, if you had paid attention to its lack of response, you could have let it be buried with at least some of its body intact." Miroku was exasperated, but that was nothing new when he was around the young over exuberant demon slayer.

"Miroku-sama with all due respect, and I do respect you, you have your ways of exterminating and I have mine, can't that please be that," the young woman pleaded.

Miroku internally sighed, there was no getting through to her, this was why he had stopped taking Rin on these demon exterminating jobs, but Inuyasha was needed elsewhere with his rambunctious tribe of puppies, and his own lovely wife had long since hung up her precious Hiraikotsu. He and Sango had been trying for the longest since Rin's training as a demon slayer to get her to understand it isn't about the reliunquishment of life, it's about saving the innocent who were endangered by the demon and bestowing a merciful trip to the underworld for the demons soul. It seems like Rin did not know how to deliver a merciful kill.

'Wonder where she got that from' Miroku thought annoyingly.

When Rin first took interest in being trained in the art of demon slaying they automatically thought it was in reaction to what had happened to her, but she had pushed the incident aside as if it were no more than another little hurdle in her life of sixteen years. She went on to assure them that she just loved that fancy outfit Sango wore and thought that she might be skilled at the trade because she didn't shy much from blood and gore as a lot of females did. She thought she could be just like Sango.

Boy, were they wrong.

She had turned into a weapon toting, demon exterminating, tight black sleek outfit wearing, Miroku was lurched from his lecherous thoughts by the woman that had brought them on.

"Miroku-sama, the twins wanted me to come by after the extermination, is that okay with you and Sango-san," asked Rin.

Ah, that was another thing… Sango and Rin hadn't been on exactly good terms ever since….


Sango was angry with Rin.

As she saw her husband walking back through the village with Rin in tow, she narrowed her eyes, and not for the normal reasons one would think Sango to be upset, usually the fact of Miroku hanging beside some young for the taking woman, no it was because Rin was the one who broke her gentle brother's heart.

Sango just couldn't understand why Rin wouldn't want Kohaku!

She may have been slightly prejudiced about it, but her brother was a catch! The village girls swooned every time he came into the village from his travels. He was handsome, and due to his constant journeying he became well learned and cultured. He always had a story to tell, and she knew for a fact that there were other girls that had caught his eye on his exterminating expeditions, but he was holding out for that one girl, the girl that held her brother's heart since the time of Naraku. She didn't want to hate Rin; she knew the girl had been through a lot.

But she just wanted to shake her.

Didn't she know that she didn't have many options for suitors now, not since the incident…

Oh well she would have to look past Rin's foul judgment in men, and be nice to her if only for the twins….


The twins worshiped Rin.

Much to their parent's discontent. Rin was their goddess, they walked like Rin, wanted to talk like Rin, and grow up to be just like Rin. Any chance they got to be near her they would, although they would have to sneak and go to her house because their parents didn't like them spending too much time around her. They didn't see what the big deal was. Why did the villagers have to treat Rin as they did? Rin was brave, she should have been praised for her actions not isolated because of them. Well maybe they didn't understand the whole situation. They were constantly told they were too young to know the full story, but from the rumors they heard around the village, they were able to make their own assumptions about what happened, and even so, they didn't care, they loved Rin and would stand by her. It was just so frustrating nobody else could understand their admiration for the strong woman. Well except for one other that is… their oji Kohoku…


Kohoku longed for Rin.

Ever since that day when they met, both in the claws of Naraku, him as a puppet guard and her as Naraku's disposable prisoner, he had noticed something in her then. For one she had been a breathtaking child, he could admit she was his first childhood crush, he didn't remember ever liking girls back before his village was destroyed, he probably was still too young for that. But Rin brought out a feeling in him he never faced when approached by the opposite sex. Nervousness. He could admit even now the girl…no, the thought provoking woman, made his nerves bad. It seemed like she went from a cute chubby cheeked young damsel, into a hip teasing woman overnight, and maybe she did. He never saw her as a vixen of any kind, he didn't see her as the villagers did, and he did not take part in their gossip mills. No, Rin was still all of innocence; she was just a woman now.

And it was admirably noticeable.

But she was so much more than her looks. Her looks made her stand out in the crowd sure, but it was her will that made her a kami. They had all been through a lot and had lost a lot, especially by the hands of Naraku, him and his sister's family, Miroku and Shippo's fathers', Inuyasha's old friend Kikyo, and Kagome's youth. All sacrificed something, but he knew Rin's pain went so much further back into the past. Humans destroyed her life once, and another destroyed it again. He just wanted to protect her. A girl who came from such a horrible childhood, to end up in the care of a demon who, even though, saw to her well being for the most part, still wasn't what she needed. It made him cringe when he really thought back to that time three years ago. Maybe if he had been there to be her hero, not off in another village, Rin could have been his, he would have been able to protect her, and it would be him who she would consider her protector, not waiting around for some… some, well it doesn't matter now, and she is different now. His feelings have not changed but she is not the same Rin he once knew, not the same Rin he could remember playing with him and Shippo, running in carefree circles around the village those years ago…


Shippo was afraid of Rin.

He stayed way clear of her when he made his visits to the village. Yeah, it's true they used to play together, and he could even admit having small crush on her IN THE PAST, but now, no way. He was not as understanding as the rest of the gang. She needed to snap out of her mentally deranged tantrum before he would cross her path again. She was becoming no better than a bully. As a matter of fact she was starting to remind him of a certain bully he had to put up with for years…. Inuyasha!


Inuyasha worried for Rin.

He huffed and smirked at how everyone thought him so clueless when it came to women, but it seemed like he was the only one who understood the true reason behind Rin's change.

Everyone else thought it was the rape.

No, Inuyasha knew it was far deeper then that, yes she was disappointed Sango and Miroku, her surrogate parents weren't there to rescue her, she was upset Kohoku wasn't in range to hear her scream, she was mad that even he, as good as his dog ears were wasn't able to pick up her plea for help on the other side of time. She was disappointed in all of them, and even herself for trusting that arrogant Akihiro, and wondering to far out of the village borders with him.

But her disappointment was really directed at Sesshomaru.

The one she always expected to save her from danger. Save her from death by wolves, save her from life threatening monsters, save her from undead humans, save her from hell itself. But he was not there to save her from a simple human man; her biggest fear. He wasn't her hero anymore. Rin saw the world the way it was now, without blinders and eyes of a child. She saw the world as a woman, an experienced one at that, knowing good and bad. She had been able to erase childhood trauma's only to have them replaced by horrific woman traumas.

All Inuyasha wanted to know now was .He

He had gotten used to not expecting the worse from Sesshomaru, just to have him proved right all along by simply leaving her without a word as to when he would be back, and he hadn't been back since. Just maybe he could be the one to get through to her as much as it killed him to admit it. He was probably one of the only ones who thought that Rin could still be pulled out of her comatose state of apathy. Maybe all she needed was to give his brother a good tongue lashing, and she would feel better, he knows that he and the others have suffered enough through her attitudes. The whole situation was a shame really. The whole village used to love Rin, dote on her even. As a child she was smart and had a remarkable way of seeing you, really seeing you, and like now how she doesn't discriminate in her kills back then she never used to discriminate in her friends.

But after that jerk pushed his way on her, her demons came up and swallowed her whole, she cared not for the pretty kimonos her lord used to give her, she sought apparel that would be easy to make a dash in. She no longer frolicked in green meadows with Shippo and the other kids, instead she spent her free time training with sharp weaponry, and sparring partners.

She had become helpful to him by going out on missions so he could stay behind and help Kagome with the kids, but soon they all realized it wasn't wise for Rin to take up that profession anymore. So Rin lashed out. She would disappear for months at a time, come back with new gear, and new weapons. We wouldn't know where she went or how she got the money to pay for those things. Slowly the villagers started talking about her, spreading awful rumors. It was to the point that she had to have her own hut built on the outskirts of the village. We all do not know what else to do with her, the kids on her own now. If Sesshomaru ever came back it'll be his problem then.


Sesshomaru knew it had been awhile since he'd been here, and if he were honest he was not enjoying the fact of coming back. He had thought to stay away, true enough in his time frame he wouldn't consider this long, but for a human, it was probably an eternity.

He could make up a million and one reasons why he hadn't been down through this forest in awhile, but what difference would it make, and why should he care.

Plain and simple, he had other things to do.

Times were changing and he needed to evaluate his position in the region, and even areas outside of it. He hadn't expected to be gone for so long, and honestly the more often he stayed away the easier it was to do so. Time repaired things for humans and demons alike even if their time increments were different, it affected both species the same. He needed his time, without little girls, without chirping voices, without blushing smiles, and he was sure his little girl was not so little anymore and hoped she probably had went on with her life.

So why was he here now?

Plain and simple, he just couldn't stay away.

He needed to see her with his own eyes to make sure she was alive, well and happy. If he would allow himself to admit it he was nervous, why, he had the whole trip from the western fortress to Inuyasha's fortress to go over that and he still didn't come up with anything, and he refused to let his mother's last words to him before leaving the castle phase him. If the girl was married which by human lifestyle she ought to be, all the more better, she was being cared for and being useful.

His mother jested far too much, and he had no sense of humor.

Rin will always be a little girl in his sight, with a little girl smile, little girl hands, and a little girl gait. She will still be little Rin no matter what her age. And now he realized the source of his nervousness, what if she had changed.


The village spring equinox was in full swing, and everyone was taking part in the festivities. Miroku and Sango had their six out in the center hooting and hollering half of them reenacting a demon extermination battle, and the other half clinging to their prayer beads and sutra's. Kohaku was seen speaking to a few of the village girls in an attempt to high tail it out of there. Shippo was showing off his new fox magic trick to the kids, and Kagome was urging the pups to get in on all the fun. Inuyasha thought it funny how sometimes his kids could be perfectly fine with cowering under their mother. They truly were pups, their human blood may have out weighed their demon blood but they were his pups, and the blood that did flow through their veins was strong. He would make sure they were proud of it, proud how he had come to be of the blood flowing through his own veins.

Inuyasha was just about to go over to help Kagome urge on the kids when an unbelievable scent reached his nose.

"Aw, c'mon, not now asshole!"

Kagome looked up to see what Inuyasha was complaining about now. He just gave her a look that said she better stay put with the kids, and he was off, and ran into the tree line of the village.

Sesshomaru figured it wouldn't take long for someone to catch his scent, he knew that besides Inuyasha the fox demon was in the village, and wouldn't even be surprised if Inuyasha's kids figured it out before Inuyasha. Yes he could smell hidden beneath layers of human aroma, the trademark blood of their father. 'So, Inuyasha has begotten offspring.' But as soon as the thought left his mind Inuyasha sped up on him, a little too close to the point that their distance would be threatening. Something was obviously wrong because his appearance was obviously not wanted.

They both did their normal squaring off, and then one spoke.

"I have no business with you Inuyasha, so you can step away from me, before I lay you flat on the ground in order to walk over you."

Inuyasha became angry, what was he doing here after all this time. For awhile he thought it would be good for Sesshomaru to come and help Rin, but he had not changed and probably never would, his insensitivity would probably do more harm than good. Rin's attitude had become more like Sesshomaru's and put two people near each other with those type of personalities was probably an easy way someone was going to get killed or at least injured, and no matter how much the girl gloated over her battle skills, Sesshomaru would be the only one walking away from that fight.

"Bastard, you come your high and mighty ass out here after all this time, give me one good reason I should let you pass."

Kagome burst onto the seen seemingly at the right time before the two could continue their bickering.

"Sesshomaru, I must say this is a surprise." she voiced calmly. But of course this was Sesshomaru, she thought, and he wasn't going to deem himself to speak with her no matter how more polite she was than his own brother.

Inuyasha thought pleasantries were a waste of time, and he would get right down to the heart of the matter.

"Well idiot if you would use your sense of smell you could tell that she is not toward the village."

"Inuyasha don't make this worse." Kagome pleaded.

'So did Rin start a new life somewhere else, with someone else?' Sesshomaru thought.

"I have all the information I need." And with that he left to let his nose guide him to where he was sure Rin was set up at. He had knew she was not in the center or the village, maybe him lingering by was his way of checking up on his little brother without him realizing it.


She knew she didn't really have to leave the village and rough it out here by the banks alone. But she just couldn't take the stares anymore, the hidden accusations and the I told you so's of if she just would have done what she was told she wouldn't have been in this mess. She didn't see it as her mess. And neither did Kagome-sama, she was probably the only female that had tried to be there for her during the whole fiasco. And she appreciated the little bit of support that was offered to her, but she just needed to get away. She still would visit; she wasn't too far away from the rice fields where the farmer's at the most outer parts of the village worked. But she really had no reason to go into the village anymore, other then to visit the twins, and Kagome. She knew Sango and Miroku didn't care for her to be around, they never flat out stated it but she knew it to be true, especially with Sango, since her rejection of Kohoku.

It was Kohoku who taught her to pretty much live out here on her own. That's a big reason she felt so guilty turning him down, he had given her a lot, taught her how to hunt and plant a little so she didn't have to venture too far in search of food, helped her put her hut together, and how to maintain it when he would be off exterminating in other regions, and couldn't help. But she wouldn't lead him on. Kohoku wasn't what she wanted, even if she did entertain the idea once or twice before, he would never be enough and she knew it, he even knew it, and so did Inuyasha who she really chose to stay away from the most. He reminded her way to much of a certain someone else, who if she still didn't have that far off memory of her worshipping him, she would be very angry with him.

But she's grown now. With no one to take care of her but her, and she had already been made a woman, and this, as she looked around at her meager property from under the overhang, was all she was going to get.

She knew it was non productive to keep obsessing over the past. She tried to keep her childhood joy; surely she was one girl who had been through a lot even as a child, if she was able to stay cheerful then she should be now, now that she was the most self suffiencent in her life. 'But hardly ever manage to summon any true joy,' she thought while bent over the slow flowing stream scrubbing away at her laundry.

It was then that she felt it, it almost made her drop her now almost dry load into the stream again; as she stooped down to gather it back up from the ground before it fell into the stream, she felt a power coming from behind her wash over her ever so subtle. She shot a sideways glance at her sword debating on whether to pull it or hold off till she identified the source, it was in grasp reach embedded into the strongest part of the grounds soil, so she would wait to see if the yokai identified itself first. Strangely enough the aura didn't seem malevolent at all, and it wasn't one she recognized. When it made no move to speak, and didn't seem like it was going to strike out and attack her from behind, she broke the silence.

"Are you going to state your business here, or just gawk at a female doing her wash?"

When they made no move to answer her she decided she was tired of waiting for a response, so she let her sword speak next for her. With a swiftness that had overpowered many lower being youkai she dropped her load, released her sword from the mudded earth and pivoted around to place her sword at the intruder's throat.

Sesshomaru barely followed her movements, when her sword came up to his throat, although he had seen it there when he arrived and saw her go for it. He didn't have too much time to ponder her having such a weapon in the first place or why she was outside half dressed doing what seemed to be her laundry. But as she brought the sword up to his throat he didn't flinch. If he felt she was going to behead him he would have seen it in her movements, he could tell that she was going to stop short of beheading. He also wasn't surprised when she realized who she pulled her sword on by the thud of metal that hit the ground in her shock.

She was shaking involuntarily, and that was the reason she wanted to give for dropping her sword like that. It had nothing to do with the fact that she felt she had held a sword to the throat of the only man, no demon, no, no MAN, that had ever cared. She felt as though she had just went into a state of shock obviously, and that was the emotion that was probably showing the most. Indignation was the next, and she hoped he couldn't read it, but he probably could the way his eyes were staring at her so intensely she thought her face was on fire. Oh but there it was, a hint of joy came, but she didn't want to feel it, she didn't allow herself to be truly happy in so long, she surely wasn't going to have her first real joyous feeling be because she had saw him. She gathered her wits, and remembered quickly and thankfully that this is the man who gave her life, and she remembered what his station was among his kind, so with little shame as to what she was caught attired in she bowed low toward the ground and appeared as submissive as she was capable of regardless of her independence.

"My Lord it has been a long time has it not?"

"Rin"

At the sound of her name she lifted up her gaze, and had the time to really take him in after all these years of trying to keep the memory of his face alive in her mind. She didn't care that she was staring, or that he might get offended by the slight amusement she allowed to pass across her face. It figured he was still ridiculously beautiful, hadn't aged a bit, and here she was the very impitimy of mortal, different face, different body, a more hardened face she was sure he was observing, and a worn out body littered with scars and stories. He returned her gaze with an intensity that she tried to keep head on with him but failed and in an instant her confidence faded and she cast her gaze downward. It looked like he wasn't going to speak again.

"What do I owe the honor of your presence Lord Sesshomaru", she knew it came out lofty, but once again she didn't care.

"Forgive me, but I was doing the laundry, it's usually easier to wear my under kimono, it's not like anyone's around, or comes around to see me anyways." She chose to stop her rant there, the less he knew the better, and she wasn't planning on him to stick around anyways.

He continued to glare at her like if he could read everything that was written on her face, in her mind, and on her body.

And as if she just remembered her manners, "Would you like some tea" only to realize he probably didn't drink such things, and the glare she received only reinforced that thought.

Tiring of that glare, she tried something else. "Would you like to have a seat?"

But she was still just glared at, and it made Rin ponder If he always responded to her like this when she was a child, and if he did how come she saw that as normal. Come to think of it she didn't recall him talking much at all. But then he startled her by…speaking…a complete sentence.

"I came to inquire on your whereabouts. Is this your home?"

She thought his voice was beautiful, it was so beautiful, it distracted her enough that she almost missed the question.

"Yes my lord this is, it's not much, and it's much like the one I used to have before…before I came to be with you."

Why was that so hard to say?

Sesshomaru surveyed the area with his eyes, and nose. It was simple, plain, and the hut looked like, from an outsider, it would take only one good heavy wind to blow it down, but he could tell it held it's own despite its thrown together look. He wondered who assisted her with building it.

Rin was getting more and more nervous as she saw him discreetly look over her meager settlement. Gods, why was he here, she was just getting it together, mapping out what will become of her now that she knew she was on her own for good. She didn't want or need his distraction, this spark of hope, hope that she won't have to be alone. The thought that she may not have to be considered used goods anymore. He wouldn't care; Sesshomaru doesn't care about petty human ideologies. She didn't know him as an adult but for some reason she knew he wouldn't care about her fall from grace.

He could tell her mind was turning because he would catch her glancing out the corner of her eye at him every so often he could tell she was thinking about him. He could admit to himself he didn't like her wariness, and her discomfort around him, it was foreign to him, and if he were to be honest it made him feel uncomfortable in return. And Sesshomaru never felt uncomfortable.

"Are you well here" He surprised her by speaking again.

"Well…" Rin let the word linger on her tongue for a second longer than necessary. She had to really ponder on that for a minute. She was alive, she was in good health as far as she knew, and she wasn't suffering from demon possession like some of the villagers claimed, not foaming at the mouth, or stark mad.

"Yes, I'm well." Yes she was well all things concerning. That's all her lord needed to hear.

"Hm." Yes and that's all she come to expect from him in reply.

"Can I ask you my lord, how are you, where have your travels taken you too?"

She needed to get the attention off of her. And it really was her backhanded way of politely inquiring about him, while also figuring out what took him so long to make it back to the village to check in on her. Not that he needed to, but she would be lying if his absence hadn't left a mark. But the longer the pause went on after her question she realized he wasn't going to answer her, and she figured that was probably best. He then settled down against one of the boulders by the stream, and remained silent. It was funny to her how just because she grew up and changed her mannerisms, didn't mean that he was going too also. He remained to same. He will probably be the same even after she died, but then again why change something that was already working for him.

She assumed she was pathetic, all this time she tried to measure up to him, be more like him. Something he would be proud of. The way she lashed out at that man…she claimed self defense, huh…she is a murderer. But this man sitting across from her was a natural killer, she knew he did not kill for no reason, he never killed out of anger, his killing was methodical. Not like hers which was emotional and spiteful. The villagers were right about her. And she wanted more than anything to confide in him. She wanted him to reassure her she wasn't some monster, that yes he's killed thousands of humans without batting a manly eyelash. So it wouldn't be a big deal if she had killed a mere one. And if she let herself sugar coat it enough, it was really in self defense. What would he say if he knew? Did he indulge her all those years in the past with some fascination of being around innocence, and if he found out that that innocence that besotted him so much in the past was lost to a mortal man, would he turn away from her, and find it in someone else? She couldn't take thinking like this anymore or it would drive her mad.

For all the ignoring and the haughtiness she possessed in the face of all the villagers rebuke, in the face of Kagome sama's gentle understanding, in the face of Miroku sama's stern resolve in the face of Sango-san's disappointment, in the face of Kohuku-kun's dying devotion to her, in the face of Inuyasha-sama's knowing eyes, she held her ground, no remorse, no pity, just fierce independence. It was what Sesshomaru-sama would have wanted. All for him, she almost forgot that she always lived for him, even when he was gone, she tried to emulate him the best she could. She handled that situation the best way a six teen year old girl who idolized a terribly great demon could have done.

"There was nothing else I could have done" she whimpered. And she didn't realize she had said that out loud till his attention landed on her, and he mouthed a 'what' ever so slightly with his lips. She was coming undone.

"What was nothing else you could have done Rin?"

"I'm sorry, but I tried not to, I ki- I did that to him but I didn't mean to, I was just so angry that he, he treated me nicely at first, and I played along the whole time till I felt it wasn't right, and I took it out on him," she explained frantically.

"Rin, gather yourself together and speak clearly."

She sniffled, and took a deep breathe, and then she told everything.

From the older man that allured her at the tender age of fourteen, to that very same man who couldn't wait till she was ready, and took what he thought was already his. To the fight against him that ended in his death by her very hands by the chiseled stone she kept in her kimono, to the villagers making her an outcast, and Inuyasha-sama's, and Miroku- sama's intervention to not have her killed for murdering one of the villages finest. To Kohoku's confession of undying love and to accept her as she is helping her start again on the outskirts of the village, to the training she undertook so she wouldn't have to be put into that position again.

And at the end when she stopped crying and had recapped the last three years of her life, she looked up to see the unchanged emotionless expression on his face.

Sesshomaru-sama was never changing, he would never be compassionate, he would never reach out to comfort her, he would never reassure her that it was going to be okay. And anybody else would have been appalled for his lack of concern, but she took strength from that because she knew that he had just accepted her major failing of life. She knew his feelings never changed about anything or anyone around him and that included the way he saw her. No matter what things she did that could be considered atrocious in humanities view, he was not impressed by such boring storytelling. She could do no wrong in his sight.

So she let out a smile, a smile that hadn't been seen by anyone in three years.

And she realized that it had less to do with any traumizing event and more to do with who she had been saving it up for.