FAILURE OF THE JAZZ
A/N: This is a companion piece to "Faceman Is Gone" and "Running Away". This is Hannibal's POV.
I can still remember the day I first met Face. I had just been informed by my superiors that I was getting a new supply officer and so I walked outside and literally bumped into him. My first thought was How in the world did a teenager get into the army? Face has always looked younger than he really is so I just assumed that he really was twenty-one. It took a little over two years before I found out that he had actually been fifteen when he enlisted and sixteen when I received him.
Face is the best second-in-command I could ever ask for. B.A. is a good soldier and Murdock is actually second in rank but neither of them are second-in-command material. Face always points out what exactly is wrong with my plans and tells me how to fix them while, at the same time, making me think it was my idea all along. He manages to keep me from getting too high on the jazz while ensuring I have enough jazz to come up with a great idea to get us out of whatever mess we happened to be in at the time. And, most importantly, he keeps me supplied with cigars.
He is also good at keeping the peace. Whenever B.A. and Murdock are, literally, at each others' throats he can always think of the words to say that will calm B.A. down and get Murdock to stop bugging B.A..
I have never figured out what exactly his relationship with Murdock is. It's as if the two of them actually understand each other which is sort of a scary thought now that I think about it.
As I was saying-he's a great second-in-command but he'll never be a good commanding officer. It's nothing personal. In fact he's rather good at coming up with plans to get me out of trouble and would rather die than put someone under his command in danger. But he doesn't know how to take care of himself. For example, one time while we were in Vietnam he was put in charge of the unit due to the fact that I was unconscious. According to B.A. they marched for three days straight stopping only for two hour rest periods and Face would keep watch while the others slept. He kept them alive until they reached the base and even then he waited to make sure everyone else was okay before he collapsed due to exhaustion, lack of nourishment and a bullet in his chest.
The first few years after we escaped from prison things were a little rough since I was trying to figure out my men and how to take care of them. Murdock and B.A. were pretty straightforward about what they needed but Face was always harder to figure out especially since he didn't trust us. He tried, I know he did but he just couldn't trust us. It eventually got to the point where he could occasionally tell us when something was wrong but more often than not he would just drop hints. I think that if we had had more time he might have learned to trust us, really trust us with more than just his physical well-being.
But then Amy came along and while I liked Amy I really did, she took up time and energy that I should have directing towards my men. With Amy around Face started feeling left out (definitely not good) and withdrew himself just a little. After Amy left Tawnia came along and by the time she left Face had already retreated into himself. We probably could have drawn him out but then the mess with the fake pardon came up and I can't really blame Face for taking it although I did at the time. Out of all of us he's the only one who really wanted a normal life with a nine-to-five job, preferably one that didn't include getting shot at or chased by the MPs. It's rather ironic actually, that a conman could ever want that. It's also sad because even if he gets it he still won't be happy; he never could be now. But anyway after the pardon then Stockwell and Frankie came along and Face was as good as lost to us.
It was good that Murdock got out of the VA but I never should have given him Face's job. If Face isn't pulling a con or running a scam he feels useless. Forget that he's the best sniper I've ever seen if he isn't doing something that he considers "worthwhile" for the team he feels useless and a useless-feeling Face is always a danger. Because then he has to go and prove to himself that he is still wanted which usually results in either him getting in major trouble or extra stuff for the rest of us. (Last time I wound up with a year's supply of the most expensive cigars available and B.A. got tickets to go see the Dodgers play for the rest of the year while Murdock got to go to the fair and came back with a five foot stuffed bear that Face had won for him.)
I've failed as a leader, I know that now. If I could go back in time and change a couple of things I would. I wouldn't rob the Bank of Hanoi no matter how many times Morrison ordered me. I would devote more time to making sure my men (especially Face) understood that I was there for them no matter what. I wouldn't have gotten so bent out of shape about the fake pardon. I wouldn't have listened to Stockwell about Captain Curtis and I most certainly wouldn't have listened to his offer. But most importantly I wouldn't have let Face walk out that door.
What good is the jazz if there's no need for it?
