Hey guys =] this is just a one shot, Clary's totally in love with Jace and he hasn't even noticed her, they share an English class, and I really likes this poem that my friend wrote and wanted to put into a fan fiction, so I hope you like it, my friends name is Lauren Williams, and the poem is called -Loneliness- thanks you guys, tell me what you think.
Loneliness
I was sat at the front of English, last lesson of the day, while Mrs. Williams was at the front teaching English, I already knew what she was talking about, so I stared out the window instead, watching as the autumn leaves drifted to the ground effortlessly, some together like they were in a dance. Some alone, just like I was.
I looked to the seat next to me, the extremely vandalized chair, with various insults on it, a few swear words and copious amounts of names that had been engraved into it over time. I sighed and shook my head, turning my head to the window once again. My pen wondered aimlessly around the blank page in my note pad.
Well, it wasn't so blank anymore, I'd been scribbling in it for over half an hour now and my doodles were starting to overlap. I was never like this, not paying attention in English, but ever since the new guy, Jace Wayland came to school in September, I hadn't been able to concentrate. For five months he hadn't noticed me, and the only words he's ever spoke to me were move in the hall. No please after it or even a thanks, just a stiff move, and if you didn't, you'd get shoved and make him even more impatient for the next person.
Just before the bell was about to go, the teacher reminded us about the creative poem that was personal to us that had to be in tomorrow, before the weekend started. And tomorrow, the lessons where in reverse, so instead of having English last, we'd have it first and I'd have to put up with giggling teenagers for the rest of the day, as they murmured freak, or some other mean word behind my back. I sighed as I packed my stuff away and stood, just as the bell went.
I got to my locker and shoved all my books into my bag and walked as fast as I could to my car. It was an old ford focus, in a forest green colour, that matched my eyes, unfortunately, the rust on the side and on the wheel arches didn't, but it was all we could afford, we being me and my parents. We weren't poor, but we weren't all that rich either.
I threw my bag into the foot well of the passenger seat and closed my door with a forced thud. I looked out the window, while unconsciously fingering a hole in the side of my chair, one arm resting lazily over the steering wheel as I gazed out the window, while Jace said goodbye to his friends - Alec and Isabelle, they were at least nice to me - and got in his shiny bright orange Lamborghini, with the licence plate saying W4Y14ND, which I'm guessing was meant to be Wayland, if you replaced the 4's with A's and the 1 with an L.
I watched longingly as he pulled away, music blasting from his stereo, I saw Isabelle and Alec watching me out of the corner of my eye as I put the car in forward and drove. I paid them no attention to let them know they had not been spotted. I drove home in a daze, made myself dinner, while shouting my hello's into the living room and then going up to my room to finish the poem off. Tomorrow was going to be bad enough, with out me making a fool of myself because the poem was wrong.
I worked on it all night and into the early morning, snacking on chocolate with out noticing, just to keep my stomach at bay. But then again, what girl could resist the temptation of chocolate. Finally, once I felt it was finished, I fell asleep on my bed, poem on my belly as I drifted into unconsciousness.
My alarm woke me and I went through the motions of making breakfast, then grabbing a quick shower and getting ready before I had to leave for school. I was there ten minutes before the bell, I met Simon by my locker and we talked till it was time for home room, and English.
It was another boring lesson, all the popular people stuck there hands up to go first, like Aline, and Kaelie, and all the other skanks in the class, then some of the guys, and five minutes before the bell, I had my poem sitting in front of me and my bag on my shoulder.
"Clary" Mrs. Williams said, I looked up and stared, when I didn't move. "Will you come up and read your poem please?" she said, growing a little impatient.
"Oh … um … sure?" I said, not sound quite sure myself, but I got up and stood at the front of the class, I tucked a red lock of hair behind my ear and cleared my suddenly dry throat. "So, um, it's, uh, it's called loneliness." I said and looked down at the paper.
Laying here alone in the hours of darkness ,
Unable to sleep, holding my pillow tight.
Everyone around me - seem to be gone.
My heart left cold, unloved and alone,
Companionship wasn't meant for me.
On my own, with loneliness to bare.
It seems to be my only friend,
When deafening silence, takes over my mind.
In a deserted emptiness is where I hide,
Alone.
I finished, just as the bell went and I caught Jace's eyes. I slammed the paper down on the desk and ran out of the room, completely embarrassed, and humiliated. I ran to the girls bathroom and hid out in there till the bell to signal that next lesson had begun.
I grabbed some tissue and dabbed at my face, making sure the little make-up I wore hadn't run, and then walking out, and stopping dead in my tracks as Jace Wayland stood, leaning on the lockers opposite the door to the girls bathroom, one foot up and arms crossed over his chest. Looking down as his hair made a little curtain between him an me.
I was hoping I could escape back into the bathroom and avoid him, but then he looked up and smiled at me. No wait, it couldn't have been me. I looked behind me and no one was there. And when I looked back, he was still smiling. I gulped and tried to steady my breathing as he walked forward, pushing off from the lockers.
Looking so graceful, he would have been like an angel, and the only imperfection he had was a chip in his right tooth when he smiled, like he was now, as he got closer.
Then it hit me. Oh my god, Jace Wayland is smiling at me. ME! Clary Fray! I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth but only a little so he wouldn't notice, and when he got too close, I had to take a step back, but when he kept advancing, I ended up backing into a wall. Oh crap. He put his hand on one side of my head while he leaned in.
"Hi" he said with that cocky, Asshole-ish smirk that made him even more yummy and irresistible to the species with two X chromosomes. I gulped and squeaked out my own hi. "Listen Clary …" and I completely zoned out. Because Jace Wayland knew my name, "Are you even listening to me?" he asked, slightly annoyed.
"No" I said more normally, he laughed.
"Most girls would have just nodded and told me to carry on." he smirked.
"Well I'm not most girls and I'm going to ask you to start from the beginning." I said, folding my arms over my chest, looking up into the golden eyes, that held a lot of amusement in them.
"I said, listen Clary, I know I've never really talked to you much, and I've been a jerk to pretty much everyone, and I'm guessing that I was a jerk to you on more than one occasion, and I want to say I'm sorry, I just tend to be a little harsh to the people I like." he said, smiling that smile again, and looking very hard into my eyes.
"Oh-kay?" I said.
"God! take a hint woman, I like you okay, and when you stood in front of that class and practically poured your heart out, I felt sorry for you, and you looked so beautiful up there, with all that hurt in your voice that I just wanted to wrap my arms around you, hold you and kiss you till you were better. I want to be the one to make you smile, make you laugh, like that idiot best friend of your can, I want to sit with you at lunch and hold your hand in public, and I want you to want me back." he said frustrated, I hadn't realized he was squeezing my hand.
I looked down, as out fingers where locked together. A faint smile crossed my lip and I looked back up into his eyes.
"I do, but …" I started.
"But?" he said, leaning in closer and making it even harder to think, how was I suppose to form a sentence with him looking this good in those dark wash jeans and that light grey long sleeved t-shirt so up close and personal.
"I just …" I sighed and looked down, closing my eyes and resting my head on his chest. "I just know how to separate reality from fiction, like I know I'll pass art, that's reality, and I know I'll marry Brad Pitt when I'm older, that fiction, well, you're my Brad Pitt, Jace. I know your unreachable because your completely popular and have all the sk- uh - cheerleaders after you, and I'm completely un-popular and could never even consider going out with anyone like you and …" he cut me off.
"Has anyone ever told you, you talk to much?" then he leaned in and kissed me, not a short little peck, or a little sweet kiss on the cheek, a full on, passionate kiss on the lips. And it was all I could so not to melt into his body as his arms wrapped around my waist and he held me close to him. I fisted his head as out lips moved in sync with each other.
When I pulled away, he was smiling down at me, every time I'd try to talk, he'd cut me off with a little kiss to the lips to I smiled and put my hand in front of his mouth.
"You like me?" I said. He nodded. "and you want to go out, like me be your girlfriend" I asked. He nodded again, then kissed my palm, and pulled my hand away.
"I've liked you for a while now Clary, but I've never had the gut's to talk to you. I just didn't know you felt the same way." he said, then pulling me into his arms and hugging me. I smiled into his chest, as people clapped. I looked over his shoulder and saw Isabelle and Alec standing there, with sarcastic love struck eyes, supporting each other while they both held a hand over there hearts.
I rolled my eyes and hid in Jace's embrace again. As his arms tightened around me, I felt him kiss the top of my head, "Clarissa Fray, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and you don't have to be lonely anymore" I looked up and he kissed me again.
I know, soppy right? But I liked the poem and I just had this idea, burning away in my head, and I just couldn't get rid of it.
So tell me what you think, and review please, this was just a way of passing the time, so I could think of a way to put chapter 8 in my other mortal Instrument story, check it out, it's called Seething Emotions, it's not much right now, only seven chapters, but it's got a different Clary in it.
Please review, much obliged
-Lauren XD xoxo
