Tonight
"Shera, I want ya' to know, I really am sorry, and I'm gonna spend the rest of my days making it up to ya', I swear," he told her, again while she plated up dinner. He was leaving in the morning for the Northern Crater, to try to stop Meteor-fall.
"Captain, you've already apologized plenty," she replied placing the plate in front of him, loaded with meat, carbs, protein and everything she knew he was going to need.
"An apology ain't absolution and it ain't atonement," he remarked, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray and picking up the fork. Shera sat down across from him, a knot caught in her throat.
"It doesn't need to be," she choked out before taking a drink of water. "You're being too hard on yourself," she added clearing her throat.
"No Shera, after what I done I need Atonement. I couldn't go ta the grave knowing I done you so wrong without even tryin' to make it right," he stated, poking at his food. She was a mix of emotions, swelling at the change in his behavior and heartbroken about the guilt he felt.
"We still have tonight," she retorted, forcing herself to take a bite of potatoes.
"I can't atone for 4 years of…bad behavior in one night," he responded dejected. Shera refused to be stymied.
"It's a start…you have to start somewhere," she encouraged.
"Woman…what are you playin' at?" he inquired with a snap and a raised eyebrow. She cleared her throat pushed around her food.
"I mean, I don't want to be alone tonight," she whispered, eyes downcast.
"Ya ain't alone, I'm right here," he replied back. She sighed. Could he really be this daft?
"Let me clarify, I don't want to sleep alone tonight," she uttered, looking up. A blush rose in her cheeks and it pricked the hairs on the back of his neck. She couldn't mean? Could she? Cid was silent, and resumed his dinner, speechless and unsure of what she meant. Did she want to cuddle? Fuck? Or just sleep? Did she just want the warmth of his body, or it's entirety? He tried to think back to the last time he'd been with a woman, it had been years, he was out of practice. Christ, she really had a knack for making him think. Shera finished her plate and placed it in the sink. She kept her back to him, she could feel the heat of a blush already in her cheeks. "I'll keep my door unlocked…" she added, wanting to say more but unable.
"Good" Cid replied, unsure of how else to respond. She felt the heat in her face rise, he watched as she slinked out of the room and up the stairs. Was she blushing? He wondered, he could have sworn her face was red and that she was being unusually quick to move. She was plotting something, he was sure of that. He lit a cigarette and grunted. Why was he feeling like a fucking giddy teenager? He was 32- and Shera, she was barely 22. It made him feel like he was robbing the cradle- hell when she starting working with him five years ago he felt that way, but it changed as she grew older and he grew distant. What the fuck were they even doing now? Ashing his cigarette made him realize he was trembling. How could he be nervous? It had to be Meteor-fall, there was no way that timid little mouse could have rattled the bitter stone that he was. But, he wasn't shaking before dinner. " goddammit" he mumbled crushing out his cigarette.
Shera began pacing as soon as she made it to her room. She couldn't believe she had been so bold. Throwing her lab coat on the chair she thought of what to wear. Pajamas? A robe? Nothing? What if he didn't even show? Frustrated she pulled open the drawer on her bureau, harder than she thought and the drawer tumbled onto the floor. With a heavy sigh she picked it up, turned it right side up and shoved it back in before she began to pick up the contents, mostly underwear and a few swimsuits. Grabbing a handful of black mesh and lace she had long forgotten she unfolded it and was reminded of a bachelorette party years ago. It was a lacy see through negligee that barely made it to her thigh. Almost distracted she wondered, does this still fit? Throwing everything else back in the drawer she tossed the negligee on the bed and stared at it, debating putting it on. Is there even a point if he's just going to take it off? Telling herself, she could be bold, and that she waited a long time for this- presentation was everything right? She stripped down and put it on. It was tighter than she remembered, and shorter. Gazing in the mirror she pulled at the hem to make it longer, then at the straps to cover more.
"I feel stupid wearing this," she muttered walking over to the laundry basked and mulled through her options until she heard the floor creak and the door open. Shera stood frozen, like a deer in headlights. When Cid looked up, the cigarette fell from his mouth. He quickly stepped on it, leaving a burn mark on the wood floor, one that would become many over time.
"Well fuck Shera, if I'd known ya' were going to go through all this trouble I would have brought flowers," he remarked, nearly breathless. She adjusted her glasses, eyes downcast and blushing.
"It's stupid right? I was just going to take it off," she stuttered out, biting her bottom lip. She looked so enticing he felt like just agreeing with whatever she said. Now he knew exactly what she had been asking for. If she had put it on an hour ago it would have saved him quite the debate and soul searching.
"Why don't ya' let me take it off?" he broached, feeling a nice swell of pride in his response. She blushed even deeper, and Cid could see her neck turn red.
"You want to?" she squeaked back, making failed attempts to hide her bashfulness. It would have been easier if he wasn't staring at her. She wanted to cover herself, but didn't' want Cid to think she was that nervous. Her mind flipped on whether on not she should tell him.
"Shera, if I ever say no to that question, shoot me in the head and bury me in the yard," he responded, kicking her bedroom door shut. She snorted a giggle and pushed up her glasses. Where do I go from here, she thought staring at the floor.
"wow… well that's asking a lot," she finally muttered. She reached back and pulled her hair down, fidgeting with the tie.
"Well, yer telling me a lot here Shera...I never knew this," he retorted grappling for words. Finally, she looked up at him.
"And if you had…?" she trailed off. Cid was barely able to form words let alone predict what he would have done in the past.
"I don't know Shera...right now looking at ya is making my brain stupid, I can't talk anymore," he stumbled closer towards her, pausing half an arms length away.
"Then let's stop talking," she whispered out in a breath. Reaching up, Cid pulled off her glasses and set them on the nightstand. "Not fair, I can barely see," she teased. Timidly, he kissed her, testing the waters. He lips tasted like peppermint candy. Sweet, soft, and warm her lips embraced his. He pulled back holding her chin in his hand.
"That's ok, then ya can't see how old I look," he teased back, kissing her again before she could respond. She was swooning. He was touching her, exploring her body, kissing her tenderly. She had always thought he'd be a rough lover, the kind that'd just toss you on the bed and have their way with you. But no, his touch was light, soft, much in contrast to his rough calloused hands. Her hands entangled in his hair she pulled off his goggles and heard his cigarettes hit the floor. Pulling down the thin straps of her negligee he kissed the curve of her shoulders, down towards her neck while he slowly nudged her down to the bed. Tugging at his flight coat, he slipped it off and tossed in on the floor. Shera grabbed his scarf and used it to pull him closer to her, kissing him firmly. The scarf joined the coat as Cid continue to pull her nightgown down her body, embracing the flesh he exposed. The scratch from his scruff was making her skin red, but her blood was pumping too hotly for her to notice. She was busy slipping her hands underneath his shirt, fingers ghosting up his back. He paused at her breasts, letting her pull his shirt off and discarding it around the room.
"Captain...what's this?" she whispered with concern, her fingers gently tracing a claw mark on his shoulder, there was another, a bite mark on his side, scabbed over with deep, angry red scabs.
"Just a scrape, don't worry 'bout them, they don't hurt," he reassured, before kissing the space between her breasts. He heard her inhale sharply.
"Are there more?" she asked, a little more high pitched than usual. He chuckled.
"My legs are pretty scratched up, does it bother ya?" he asked into her ear, while his hands cupped her chest.
"No," she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck. The way her hands grazed his body was driving him mad. He never thought she'd actually be touching him like this, holding him in her arms, letting him undress her. Finally, he pulled off the nightgown and tossed it aside, before pressing a knee between her thighs. His hand traveled down, touching her intimately, she gasped, her head rolling back as he ventured further. She can't be this fucking tight, he thought as he explored. He knew what it meant but he really didn't want to do anymore damn talking. However, he did feel a pang of hurt that she didn't say anything. She really just lets me take everything. Her spirit, her vitality, her pride, her life, even her fucking virginity. His thoughts were distracting.
Feeling her hands on his belt snapped him right back. Before he could intervene she had his pants down over his hips exposing his arousal. Her hands felt so...so….he didn't have words for it, for the way she touched him. He pulled her hands away, preparing to enter her, slowly. He kept his lips at her neck, listening to her breathing, the soft squeaks, or the sudden hitch as he sank himself partly into her. He gave her a moment to adjust before he pushed himself further, eliciting a pleased squeal from her throat. He began a slow steady rhythm, one hand propped on the headboard, the other traced her hipbone before moving up her side. Shera's hands were wrapped around his back, her fingers gently pressed into his skin, massaging his muscles. He could taste the salt of sweat on her skin as he adjusted to prop himself on his elbow. She panted out words of praise and encouragement as he moved faster, driving them further towards ecstasy. Cid could see it in her eyes, in the way her lips moved and her body shook. Trembling hands ghosted up his side, and he clenched his teeth, holding back, waiting for her. So patiently waiting for her to hit her peak, his free hand slipped around her back, pulling her closer, pressing his flesh to hers. The high pitched sigh she expelled when she orgasmed spurred his, and he let out a string of curses to make a sailor blush. He laid beside her, pressing her back to his chest while he caught his breath and gathered his thoughts. Reaching to the floor he grabbed his cigarettes and lit one, passing it to Shera before lighting another for himself. She pulled an ash tray out of the nightstand and turned to her back, setting the ashtray on her chest and ashing before taking a drag. There was a long moment of silence before Cid grabbed the nightgown from the edge of the bed.
"So when the hell did ya buy this?" he inquired, tossing it towards her. She threw it towards the laundry pile and gave a snort.
"I actually didn't buy it. One of my friends got married in Costa Del Sol several years ago, she bought it for me as kind of a joke I think….It was that summer you were fixing that biplane by the beach," she recalled. Cid had forgotten about that summer, it had been a long and hot one, and that biplane gave him nothing but problems.
"I remember that summer," he remarked. She continued.
"Well, I was about 16 I think, but these were my college dorm mates, we spend a day at the beach before the bachlorette party, and Sheila caught me staring at you, and later when we went shopping she picked that out and bought it, while poking fun and telling me to jump your bones," she explained. He story jogged his memory. He remembered all three of them, and Shera in that blue bikini.
"Ya didn't even know my name though," he stated, ashing his cigarette and taking a long drag. Shera exhaled a plume of smoke.
"Sheila had a nickname for you," she mumbled with a blush.
"What was it?" he asked, curious as a cat with a fishbowl. Her blush increased.
"Beefcake," she whispered. Cid choked on a cloud of smoke while laughing. He sighed and laid back after his coughing fit.
"That's ok, it's way better than the nicknames me and Baron had for ya," he mentioned, knowing he'd have to give up more information. "Baron caught me staring at ya, in that blue swimsuit, and I caught him staring at Giggles- she had the green one on, the other was Squeaky, and you were jail bait," he informed her. She giggled and snuffed out her cigarette.
"Well, you weren't wrong," she offered, handing him the ashtray.
"Neither was Sheila. She did ya a favor with that. Good investment," he muttered with a punctuated yawn. He crushed out his cigarette and set the ashtray on the nightstand. "Seriously Shera, you didn't have ta wait six years to jump these bones, just glad ya didn't take longer," he added. She yawned and put her glasses back on while Cid lit another cigarette.
"I know, I'm late to the party, but I still showed up," she defended. He found her remark endearing and took a heavy drag.
"Technically, I showed up to your party, but you could have thrown it sooner," he quipped. She blew a raspberry and settled into her pillow, looking up at him while he sat next to her.
"Well this party took a lot of planning," she boasted. He chuckled and smashed out his half smoked cigarette.
"It was a good party," he paused for a moment, trying to think of an appropriate metaphor. "But I was supposed to be giving you somethin' not the other way around," He could see the confusion in her eyes. Metaphors. He used them often, and he thought she could crack it, she was a fucking rocket scientist. "Dammit Shera, I KNOW ya know what I'm talking about," he added trying get her to come around. She blushed again. Cid slid down the headboard to lay his head on the pillow.
"Ah, uh, yeah. I didn't think it was a big deal," She whispered. He turned to his side and threw an arm around her. Nuzzling close to her, he nipped playfully at her ear.
"It is fer most people, 'specially women," he mentioned. Shera ran her hand down his arm, and shifted to her side, pressing her back to him again. She hated when he saw her blush.
"It never was to me. It's a long story, I'll tell you when you return," she told him, holding his arm around her. He rested his chin on the top of her head with a heavy sigh.
"You are such a complicated woman Shera...but one of these days, I'm gonna name an Airship after ya'" he promised, glad she couldn't see the red infiltrating his cheeks. Her heart swelled with his words, and it made her tear up momentarily, before she thought of a quip that he would say.
"Is that just you can say you're inside me all the time?" she questioned back. Never in her life had she heard him laugh so hard or for so long. When he finally recovered, he pressed his face into her shoulder.
"Oh Shera, it's refreshing to find out your mind is just as filthy as mine. That ain't the reason, although I'm gonna add it to the list," it made her blush even deeper. He squeezed her tightly. "This dirty old man wouldn't be able to survive without ya," he added. Shera set her glasses on the nightstand and cuddled up against him. It was all a balance of give and take, and for too long Cid took heavy advantage of the 'take' aspect. It was his turn to give and balance the scales and their new relationship.
"You know, if you had waited any longer, I would have changed into my cat nightgown," she mused with a sigh.
"Ya mean the one that says 'don't wake me everything is purr-fect'? He inquired. She confirmed and he laughed. "That's not the kind of pussy any man wants, but I would have settled for it," he teased.
"Captain! that's so crude..." she giggled and kissed his bicep. "Then maybe you should wear it to tell me when you want me," she teased back. He grinned with his ready fire wit.
"If that's what ya want, but just lettin' ya know, I'll probably never take it off," he quipped. "Hell I might just wear it when I leave. Not like anyone's gonna see it under my jacket," he added. She laughed hard enough her eyes welled with tears. Gaining a hold on herself she turned to face him, and placed one hand on his cheek.
"Since I don't want it all torn up and stinky when you return how about this, I'll leave it on the table so you have something clean for me to take off," she suggested, kissing the tip of his nose.
"Under the condition that you wear that black dress again," he debated. She smiled, her soft green eyes filled with hope, something he hadn't seen in her eyes since the launch failure.
"I'll agree to that. Maybe if you're really lucky I'll find another one," her voice was smooth, like honey spread over butter. He nipped at her neck and let out a low moan.
"Red, make sure it's red," he whispered into her ear, his voice low and on the verge of sleep. Shera kissed him again before she rested her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. What he didn't know, was that she already had a red one, and a blue one stuffed in the back of her closet in a box of postcards from an old pen-pal. She'd dig them out after he left, but for now they had the night. They spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, flitting in and out of sleep as Meteor-fall loomed outside.
A/N: Ok, this is a first for me- first FF7 story since 2003, first CidxShera, as well. I had multiple reasons for writing this one- not that anyone actually cares, but I wanted to see if I could write Cid's vernacular consistently and blah blah-. I'm sure you're all mad this isn't Reluctant Surrender or Black rain, but thanks for stopping by and giving this a read- you can follow me on tumblr at I may do more of these if it's well received, but you guys are the ones that decide that. My tumblr is open to requests right now. Much love XOXO -MK
