A/N: Hello... So, I wrote a fanfic for this anime a while back, but... Never really finished it.
However, I came back to watching the show recently, and this idea came up, and, I have been writing it non-stop. Since it was an one-shot, I felt motivated enough to write and finish.
Note: Not all of it is subject to the show. Not all of this may be true according to the show. It's just my pure imagination running wild.
Note 2: This is not a pairing. I mean... it could be, but not for this particular fic. I did look up and see a few of this particular pairing as an actual pair, and I kinda ship it, but that's not the case for this fic.
Note 3(Final):
Just to note how to read this and what is going on...
Italic '...' Generally is Krad talking, but inside Satoshi. It's also really who's NOT in control. We don't see Satoshi talk like that until the end. But the '...' can also be used for thoughts. That's just how I write. To organize and make a difference for point of views.
Of course, that would mean that "..." means normal talking.
Lastly, this does include lyrics of the song that inspired the title, and it doesn't really need explaining. You'll know them when you see it.
That's about it for now. I hope you enjoy this adventure.
Chapter 1:
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find, deep inside me, I can be the one
'He wasn't always like this. At one point in time, he was a pretty good guy. You might even say he was a Guardian Angel of sorts.'
Satoshi Hiwatari was always a troubled boy.
Life wasn't easy for him.
His family was torn, and quite frankly, he felt invisible.
Ever since his mother died, and he was introduced to a different home. He never considered it home.
His so-called-father never really paid much mind to him.
The first few months he came to stay, he was beginning to feel welcome, happy.
Then, he grew distant.
Satoshi spent most of his time in his room, avoiding any kind of interaction. From anyone.
That, was when he had first met the angel.
Satoshi was only about six years old, he had had a fight with his father, which he had lost, causing the boy to run to his room, tears falling down his cheeks.
His father expected so much from him. More than a six year old boy should have to endure.
'Oh. Come now. Dry your tears.' A voice sounded, calm and smooth.
Satoshi perked up in surprise, slightly frightened by the voice.
He wiped a tear from his eye, "H-Hello?"
'Why do you cry, young one?' The voice asked.
Satoshi continued to glance around the room, wondering where the voice was coming from.
"I- My father keeps telling me... I need to push more than anyone else to achieve great things. I-I don't want to. I just want to be normal." He explained, despite the confusion, began finding comfort in the voice.
'Hmm. But where's the fun in that? No one is normal. Not you, nor I.' The voice said.
"Um... Pardon my asking, but... Who are you?" Satoshi finally asked.
The unknown voice let out a light laugh, 'Let's just say, I'm a part of you. I have been, for a while now, getting to know your body.'
Satoshi felt a little afraid by the words, looking himself over, as if trying to look for a form or shape that would describe the voice.
'I am not someone you can see. Not yet anyway. But know, I am here. I will come when you call. I will protect you from any harm that may come to you. You are an important specimen to me. I must leave for now. Until next time, Master Satoshi.' The voice said, before he felt it fade away. Like he was alone again.
Suddenly, the door opened again, revealing his father.
"Who were you talking to?"
"No one." Satoshi said, his eyes pleading with innocence.
His father looked him over for another few seconds, before rolling his eyes, muttering something on his way out.
Satoshi sighed, sitting back against the headboard of the bed.
Already, he missed The Voice. The stranger who had sent unexplainable comfort to him. Security.
He turned to his side, laying more into the bed.
But it was just a voice. For all he knew, he could have just been hearing things. His lonelieness was starting to get to him...
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Satoshi had gotten into the habit of having a daily conversation with The Voice.
That voice had even finally revealed himself.
His name was Krad.
Not a name Satoshi would have expected, but took it nonetheless.
Krad was probably his only real friend he'd known.
The being wanted to know all and everything about him. Letting him open up.
Even school didn't break their interactions.
Krad didn't speak much during that time, even though Satoshi wanted to when he was bored.
When lunch came, Satoshi would take his outside, away from any other human contact.
'Why do you do this to yourself? You should at least try to make friends here.'
"Why should I when I have an angel to keep me company?" Satoshi said.
'Say I wasn't here. What then?'
Satoshi fell silent at the question, glancing down at his food. He hadn't told him how he'd feel if Krad wasn't there. And he probably shouldn't.
"Hey. Four-eyes. What are you doing out here by yourself?" A voice suddenly broke their interaction.
A dark haired boy, known as Takeshi was approaching them.
"Aren't you worried that your food would get dirty sitting in the grass like that?" The older boy asked.
"No...-" Before Satoshi could finish the sentence, his lunch was soon scattered all over the ground.
"Oops." The dark-haired boy said, faking innocence.
Satoshi remained in place, intent on ignoring the boy, only moving to gather his ruined food.
'Come on. You have got to do something. Are you just going to let him walk all over you?' The angel spoke up.
"I... can't." Satoshi said quietly.
"You can't what? Learn to be a decent human being?" Takeshi seemed to have heard him.
'You know what he's saying isn't true, so stick up for yourself. He has nothing on you that can hurt you. Show him you're no weakling.' Krad said.
Suddenly, he was forced up by a hand fisting into the collar of his shirt, turning him to face the dark-haired boy, "Look at me when I'm talking to you."
'Do it!' The angel urged.
Suddenly, a newfound strength overcame him.
Before he could even think on his actions, he brought his head forward, head-butting the other boy, causing him to release him, staggering back a few steps.
Satoshi had the same effects by the action, feeling slightly light-headed.
He looked up at the other boy to examine his position.
He had found his footing, lightly rubbing his head, before glaring at the younger boy again.
"Oh. You've really done it now." Takeshi said, approaching him again.
Once again, overcome with unknown instinct, he drew his fist back, before meeting the older boys' cheek, leaving him staggering again.
"Ow! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Takeshi groaned in pain, his hands cupped over his nose, before he took off running.
Satoshi was left alone again, stunned as to what just happened.
As if still under the hypnotic emotions, he glanced down at his hand, his knuckles were bloodied, mixed with his and the other boys' blood.
His heartbeat began to pick up, panic slowly beginning to arise.
"What have I done?" He asked breathlessly.
'What you needed to.' Krad answered simply, before Satoshi's hand suddenly glowed a golden color, and when it dimmed, the injury was healed.
"I- No. I never wanted to hurt him." Satoshi said.
'Hurt him? Master Satoshi, it was self defense. You must see the difference.' Krad said.
"Father will kill me." Satoshi continued to panic, despite the angel's words.
'No. He won't. I'm not going to let him do anything to you.' Krad said.
Satoshi calmed a little to the words, taking the chance to catch his breath, "Promise?"
Krad chuckled lightly to the word, 'I promise.'
Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
A full year had gone by.
The angel never left him. Guiding and guarding him as he faced the challenges of life.
Satoshi was 7 today.
Another year, another birthday forgotten.
It wasn't abnormal that he'd be left home alone for as long as a week, while his father went away on business trips.
If anything, Krad had been a better guardian than his father had ever been.
'Why do you cry this time?' Krad spoke up, trying to sound sympathetic, but a small hint of annoyance in his voice at the kids' mixed emotions.
"Nothing." Satoshi said.
'Tsk. What have we said about keeping secrets. I am a part of you after all.' Krad said.
"If you're a part of me, then you probably already know." Satoshi said, lifting his head slightly.
'Hmmm. You're upset because today is a celebration of your birth?' Krad said as if guessing.
"Y-yeah." Satoshi said slowly, not quite expecting him to say it like that.
'And you feel lonely?' Krad asked.
Satoshi nodded slightly.
'Why? I'm here aren't I?' Krad asked.
"No. It's not that. It's just... Birthdays are supposed to be celebrated. With family, and gifts. But it seems I don't matter enough for that." Satoshi said.
Krad sighed, 'If your family is so irresponsible, what's the point? What gifts would you want? And you do matter. You will one day be destined for great things.'
"Like what?" Satoshi asked.
'... That doesn't matter right now. Right now, I want to know, what do you want? Because I can make it happen. I could show you the world if you wanted it.'
"You can?" Satoshi perked up, surprised.
Krad chuckled, 'There's that light in your eyes... So. What do you say, kid. Want to go for a fly?'
"Fly?" Satoshi asked, once again confused.
'I am an angel. It would be the fastest way of transportation. Also, the scenery is breathtaking.' Krad explained.
Satoshi thought on the information for a few minutes, "How does it work?"
'Well. You'd have to let me take over.' The angel said.
"How?" Satoshi asked.
'You just have to relax and not resist the change.' Krad explained.
"Okay..." Satoshi said, unsure how to do as he asked. He felt ready for whatever was about to happen.
'I must warn you. This may hurt.' Krad said.
"W-" Satoshie tried to question, before he leaned forward as pain consumed him.
What was he doing to him? He thought the angel promised to never hurt him?
Most of the pain was coming from his back. Bones were moving from the inside, then it was as if something was trying to break out of his back.
His nails dug into the sheets, trying not to fight the pain as Krad instructed.
Finally, whatever it was that was stabbing his back from the inside broke free, and he felt two soft limbs sprout from his back.
The sound of a lamp or some other item fell from his bedside table onto the floor as the limbs on his back spread out fully, before slowly curling back in, as if to shield his back from the pain.
Satoshi opened his eyes, slowly trying to regain himself from the passing pain.
His eyesight was a little blurry, possibly from the light tears in his eyes.
'Well... This is unfortunate.' Krad spoke up.
"W-what? What was that?" Satoshi asked.
'That was me attempting to take control. It would appear your body is not ready for that yet. However, part of me did come out.' Krad explained.
Satoshi glanced behind him, where he had felt the worst of the pain.
His eyes widened as the form of large white wings came into his focus.
"Those are... Your wings?" Satoshi asked.
They were... beautiful. The stunning view of them made his pain long forgotten.
'Yes. Those are my wings. However, since I was not able to take full control, they are also yours. For now, I can help you learn to fly, but it won't be easy.' Krad said.
As if to prove his point, the wings started spreading again, moving in a slow flapping motion, causing a heavy gust of wind blowing through his room.
"What... How do I make them stop?" Satoshi asked, panicked when he could feel himself being slowly lifted off the bed.
'You have to connect with them. Treat them as if they were a living being. Connect with the wings, and you can control them at will.' Krad explained.
Satoshi glanced back at the wings, confused as to what he meant.
'Wings... Stop!' Satoshi attempted.
Krad sighed, and Satoshi could practically feel him shaking his head.
Satoshi closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on letting himself back on the safety of the bed.
Miraculously, it worked, and the wings calmed again.
'Good job, Master satoshi. You learn fast.' Krad said.
Satoshi smiled at the compliment.
Glancing at the wings again, and at his will, the wings stretched out again, letting them extend and loosen the tense muscles, after having been contained for so long.
'Are you ready to go?' Krad asked.
"Where will we go?" Satoshi asked.
'Wherever your wings will take you.' Krad said.
Satoshi smiled, glancing at the window that led to the outside balcony.
Folding his wings back in again, he headed to the window, opening it and fitting his way past it.
He glanced down at the edge of the balcony.
It was a ways down.
He gulped, "Uh... I'm not so sure about this."
'Relax and let the wings guide you.' Krad said.
Satoshi stayed staring at the edge for a while longer.
Finally, he slowly climbed to the edge, until he was standing on the ledge, where in one step, he would either fly, or fall to possible death.
He let his wings spread again as he prepared himself.
Then, he took his last step into the air.
He had expected the wings to catch him, but... He was falling.
Panic filled him once again, his wings practically useles against the zero gravity.
'Spread your wings!' Krad demanded.
Satoshi tried to work with the wings again, but nothing worked.
"I can't! Help me!" Satoshi said. He didn't want to die!
'Damn it.' Krad cursed.
Suddenly, a surge of power shot through Satoshi's body, a golden glow outlining his body.
Just as he was mere inches from the ground, the energy made his wings spread, catching his fall and sending him flying back up to the air again in a graceful movement.
Once he was back up in the air, the wings steadied, spread out on either side of him, floating against the wind, keeping him afloat.
"Thank you." Satoshi breathed in relief.
'Don't mention it.' Krad sighed, seeming drained as he spoke.
"Are you okay?" Satoshi had noticed.
'Of course. Just... Spreading enough of my power to you to catch your fall... really did a number on me.' Krad breathed.
"I'm sorry." Satoshi said guiltily.
'Don't worry about it. The wings should get you to wherever you want to go now.' Krad said.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
A few hours had passed, and Satoshi was getting the hang of the wings.
Now, he was freely flying through the air at fast speeds, making random shapes as he went.
He didn't know where he was by now, but honestly, he didn't care. Anything was better than his room of isolation in an empty house.
However, when the sky began to darken, Krad finally arose, suggesting it was time they headed back.
Satoshi almost wanted to complain, like the little kid he was, but, he couldn't deny he was tired.
By another few hours, they'd made it back home, before Satoshi could just fall asleep with the wings the only thing supporting him.
When he reached the balcony, a sharp feeling of pain went through his back once again.
He could feel the wings drawing back into his body, and it was a hard and painful thing to do.
'It is time for you to rest, Master Satoshi.' Krad said.
Satoshi complied, practically falling asleep once his head hit the pillow.
'Cause you're my
You're mine
My true love
My whole heart
Please don't throw that away
'Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and, please tell me you'll stay
As the years passed, so did the happy moments.
As Satoshi got older, Krad began to change.
He had gone form a caring, gentle being, always asking him questions to keep his mood perked up... To constant annoyance, seemingly towards his existance.
When he had turned 12, Krad made his first full transformation.
It had hurt him more than anything in the world, and Krad didn't seem to pay any mind to his emotions.
He was becoming more interested in the fact that he could now gain full control, and not at all about what Satoshi thought or felt.
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning grey
...
2 years after that, Krad was transforming on a daily basis, but the pain continued with every one.
Satoshi would beg and plead him to stop, or at least tell him why he was doing this.
"I told you, Master Satoshi. The day would come, where you would achieve great things. Now is that time." Krad explained when he had taken control again one night, "Oh. And do stay away from the brat called Daisuke. he is not someone you should put your trust into."
With that, he blocked the boy out, leaving Satoshi alone in an empty voice of darkness.
Daisuke was a boy he had met at school.
Just like him, Daisuke was... A little anit-social. He'd try to make friends, but he always felt so awkward. And he talked to himself... A lot.
Krad had decided to take over one day when he and Daisuke were stuck alone.
Satoshi was confused as to why he would want to hurt him. he was just a kid, like him. And the angel had promised no harm would come to him or others who were innocent. Ever.
That day, Satoshi was able to gain partial control. Not enough to take over again, but enough to see what Krad could see.
He saw where Daisuke would have been, was replaced by a more darker figure, with spiky purple hair.
Was that...
He watched from within as Krad shot golden orbs to the other being, each growing stronger than the last.
Satoshi could see the other person growing tired after a while. Instinct and adrenaline seeming to drain from him.
"Well. It was nice meeting you again, Dark Mousy." Krad spoke up.
Satoshi's eyes widened in horror.
That... That had to have been Daisuke. who else would have been able to get in here?
'Stop... Stop...! Stop!' Satoshi repeated the word, each verse stronger than the last.
It seemed to affect the angel. His hand that held the feather stilled.
Satoshi had had enough. He wasn't going to let this angel waslk all over him.
Krad had, of course, taught him this lesson.
'You're going to have to take control of my body some other day!' With the strength in his words, he could feel himself gaining control, breaking free from the dark void.
'M-master Satoshi.' Krad spoke up after he was no longer in control.
'You tried to kill my friend. Why would you do that?' Satoshi questioned.
Krad scoffed, 'He is not your friend. You are not to trust him.'
'But why not? Is it because he somehow became... That person?' Satoshi asked.
'It's going to take a while to explain. Just know that the world you used to live in, no longer exists. You need to accept your fate for what is to come.'
'And what is that?'
'I can't say here. Let us return home.' Krad said.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Dark, was the name of the angel, who's wings were as black as the night.
Krad had explained he was many things. His other half, his opposite self.
"So, he's evil?" Satoshi asked.
'Not exactly.' Krad said.
Satoshi was confused by that answer.
Despite the angel's sudden change of character, he still considered him his savior, his guardian angel. If Dark wasn't evil, it couldn't be him.
Krad sighed, 'I speak the truth when I say, I regret that you have to be pulled into this. But... It must be done. You must stop resisting me.'
"But... Daisuke. Even if he does host Dark, he's just a kid. He's... like me." Satoshi said, realizing how even more true the phrase sounded.
'It would be best you forget about the kid. As I live in you, Dark lives in him. I have to fight him. And if it kills the host, so be it.' Krad said.
"Host? What about me? What if I died?" Satoshi asked curiously.
Krad was quiet for the longest time, before managing to answer, 'That won't happen. I am strogner than him. I don't let love get in the way.'
Satoshi's eyes lowered, even more doubts starting to fill him.
Was it not real? When he was younger? Was the angel just using him to trust him?
Well... it had worked.
He had formed a strong bond with the angel over the years.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
The quarrel between Krad and Dark carried on for months.
It wasn't until Krad's announced final fight, that Satoshi decided he was tired of the fighting. Tired of it all.
He had no control or connection to the angel anymore. He was only a tool.
If the angel died along with the host, then... It had to work the other way as well.
He wasn't about to let Daisuke get killed without having the chance to live.
Seeing as Krad always managed to win all figthing against Dark, until he managed to interfere.
However, despite his attempts, Daisuke wasn't about to let him go.
At first, Satoshi wanted to resist the boys' attempts to stop him.
He had trusted his father once, he had trusted Krad, and they both betrayed him or abanonded him. Who's to say he wouldn't do the same?
Daisuke's pleas seemed to be heard by someone, because soon, Satoshi could feel Krad beginning to lose the fight with Dark.
A rush of pain overcame him as he practically felt the angel's wings get torn off him by the roots.
Despite the inability to fly, Krad still had the fighting spirit.
However, Satoshi was able to interfere at this point. Since the angel's barriers were weak.
"Master Satoshi, why?" Krad asked, brought by surprise of the action.
'I'm ready to live my own life now. Goodbye.'
After those words, everything else was blurry.
There were lights and wings, then... Silence. Peace.
Soon, it was only Daisuke and Satoshi in the room.
Both angels seemed to be gone.
"We did it. I mean, well, you did it. I mean, they did it." Daisuke said, stuttering through his sentence.
Satoshi smiled, "Yeah. We did."
A full year had gone by, and Satoshi had never felt more free.
He and Daisuke still remained friends in that year, along with the Hirada sisters.
However, there were some days he would think back on the angel.
Whether he had tried to ruin his life or not, he was someone who had a big impact on his life.
Satoshi hadn't thought about him for a while now. Afew months to be exact.
Until one night.
He was awoken from sleep by a small gust of wind, and the sound of wings.
Satoshi sat up in bed, alert, wondering if someone had broken in.
Nothing.
The room was empty.
Satoshi sighed, he was imagining it.
He had to be.
Suddenly, he felt a light touch of what felt like wings wrap around the back of his shoulders, in a comforting gesture.
Satoshi jumped at the touch, peeking up and looking behind him.
Of course, nothing was there.
Then, he heard the voice.
"Oh, Satoshi. I am truly sorry for what you had to go through." Krad's voice sounded right next to him.
Satoshi's eyes lowered, a small spark of anger filling him at the reminder.
"I have always cared for you. Ever since I was first able to communicate with you. You were the first host I actually ever grew a connection with."
Satoshi's eyes closed, memories flooding him, when the sudden feel of what appeared to be a hand resting on top of his head.
"I may not be with you anymore. But know, I will always be watching over you. Master Satoshi." Krad said.
And just like that, the angel's touch and presence vanished.
The only thing left behind was a gust of wind and the fading sound of wings.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
