Okay then, here's the first fanfic I've done in a long, long time. I know it may be a wee bit OOC, but then again EE&E hasn't exactly aimed for that department, has it? ;-)

I also want to acknowledge "Kryten," who's tried unsuccessfully until now for me to do something for three years. This one's for you, bucko.


"Hey, look guys! It's Dork, Dorkk, and Dorky!"

The citizens of Peach Creek's cul-de-sac followed Kevin's accusing finger to the entrance of their suburban enclave. Indeed, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, with fresh bruises to body and ego, stumbled back home. It had been a trying day, as always, in Eddy's insatiable lust for quarters. Once again, it had resulted in disaster after disaster, with the only spoils of their war being dirt, stains, and the telltale marks of a Kanker mauling. Ed was as oblivious as always, spouting off gibberish while Eddy seethed, complaining that his equi-named cohorts never did anything right.

Edd, on the other hand, remained silent. The spindly boy's mind was turning the past few weeks of summer over and over his mind. He'd always been an outcast; his intellect unique to children his age had made him stick out like a sore thumb. But lately, Eddy had been using it haphazardly in half baked schemes for money. And no matter what he tried, his plans crumbled and left him to pick up the pieces and endure the heckling of his neighbors. And now, returning from their failed attempt to fly from his roof that led a crash landing through garbage (let alone the Kankers'), the kids were gathering for their usual critiques.

"Good one, dorks," sneered Kevin from his bike.

"You tore your pants, Ed! Wait'll I tell Mom!" Sarah screeched.

"Indeed, empty-headed Ed boys, when will you learn you have the success rate of Nana's goat chip and beans recipe?" Rolf grinned.

"Must we go through this diatribe again? It's like clockwork," Edd muttered.

"They're just jealous of us Sockhead," the shortest Ed quipped.

"Oh yes, Eddy. I'm sure that they're all just ashamed that they didn't think of a haphazard replication of Icarus' foolish attempts to claim the sky."

"Hey, you can't just stand there spouting off trivia, we need a new scam!"

"I am a teapot, short and stout!" offered Ed, bending over.

"Frankly, Eddy, I'm not in the mood for further shenanigans today," sighed Edd as he took a seat on the curb.

"Aw, c'mon, you're just gonna let a few failures hold ya back? We'll be rolling in quarters before you know it!" Eddy promised. "I mean, how long did it take ol' Thomas Edison to invent the light b- "

"Six thousand filaments or so. Sadly the exact number escapes me."

"Oh."

"Huh. For someone who's supposed to be a genius, you sure run on empty most of the time, dork," Kevin smirked.

"So I don't know the minutia of Mr. Edison. Though I do know what you call us incessantly, Kevin."

"What, a DORK?"

Edd groaned and whispered to the boy on the bike. Kevin blinked, then muttered "oh" under his breath.

"C'mon, Sockhead. How about a plan? I'm having jawbreaker withdrawal syndrome!"

"Eddy, I told you, I don't want to do anymore today!"

"What, coming up on empty? You're slacking off."

"No, I'm not, I'm just tired of being humiliated everyday."

"Dude, you humiliate yourself just by being here," Kevin said.

"Um, Kevin, I think Double-D's had enough," Nazz offered.

"Oh, I get it. I'm the humiliated one, huh? Surely you think you're judge and jury because you spend your time on that blasted bicycle!"

Kevin screeched to a stop and jumped off his bike. He stormed up to the scrawny Ed, almost growling.

"You wanna make something of it?" he snapped.

"Yes. Yes I do. I want to make something of the fact that I am tired of being treated as some sort of back door sideshow that yearns for a passerby to take pity and toss him a few moldy peanuts!"

Kevin blinked. "Get a grip, dude. I was just fooling."

"Fooling? Fooling?! All you fool with is a person's trying to make it in the world and taking perverse pleasure in destroying them!"

"Uh... Double D..." Eddy offered, tapping his shoulder.

"Get your hands off me!" Edd snapped, slapping his arm away.

"The guy has totally blown a gasket," Kevin breathed, backing away.

"Oh, I see. Double-D has a little bit of backbone for once, which means he's clearly insane! Maybe I'm just tired of being used and laughed at! Ever think of that? That's all I, Edward, seem to exist for; making people money and laugh at my expense! Did you ever think I might want more to life than being glommed, whacked, splattered, insulted, and mocked? I am as human as you are!"

"Plank thinks you're upset Double D," commented Johnny.

"Oh dear. Plank thinks I'm upset. Well, would Plank like to know what I think of him? I think he'd make excellent kindling to burn what little is left of my sanity and pride!" snapped Edd.

The assembled kids gasped. They'd expected this kind of thing from Eddy or Kevin. But from quiet, gentle Double D? A few minutes ago, it would have been unthinkable to suggest otherwise.

"Double D, maybe you should calm down."

"I AM CALM!" he screamed, eyes near bloodshot. Veins and nerves twitched as weeks of pent up rage and shame continued to vent themselves from the young boy.

"Take it easy, Sockhead! I'll give you the day off!"

"Oh gee, thank you Eddy! Here! Have my quarters! Take them!" Edd wailed, hurling the contents of his pockets to the ground. "I'm sure you can all find something to use your jollies with. Sorry I ruined any fun you could have had with my middle name already!"

"I am rubber and you are glue," Ed commented

"SHUT UP!" Edd snapped, so loud it almost hurt ears.

"My tender eardrums!" squeaked Jimmy, holding them.

"It's always about you, isn't it? Well, I've had it with this boorish community! I am tired of being bent, spindled, and mutilated for your cynical pleasures! GOOD DAY!" Edd growled. He stormed home and slammed his door. Finally, an uncomfortable silence had settled over the neighborhood.

"Woah," Kevin said finally.

"Plank said he didn't know Double D could be that angry."

"The socked one has clear emotional trauma, yes?"

"That's probably the most normal and correct observation you've ever had," Nazz commented. "Someone should go talk to him."

No one moved, fearing that after that display that if they even inhaled towards him, Edd would tear them to shreds.

Nazz groaned.

"FINE, I'll do it," the girl muttered, walking towards Edd's house.

"Nazz is so brave, isn't she Sarah?"

"She sure is, Jimmy."

"I must remedy Nana's kit in case Enraged Ed boy devours Nazz's soul and it requires immediate salvation!" Rolf exclaimed, rushing home.

"What EVER,"Kevin returned.

With nothing better to do, the gang followed the eccentric farmer, looking over their shoulders in thought as to what was going to happen.


Nazz didn't know if she was in a house or a stationary store after a tornado.

Everything, from tables and chairs, TV and windows, even the ceiling and floors, was adorned with sticky notes. Either Edd's family loved Jim Carrey, or they had a rather disturbing love affair with small pieces of sticky paper.

"Um, okay, weird," she muttered to herself. After a short investigation, she found the stairs and started up. If her observances of suburban America had told her anything, it was that a lot of kids had their rooms upstairs. However, they usually didn't have a minefield of stationary en route, and Nazz found herself peeling off sticky note after sticky note on her way up, grumbling all the while. Finally, after plucking one that had somehow reached her hair, she reached a door labeled "Edward's Room"

Seemed as logical a place as any to look.

"Um, Double-D?" she offered, lightly tapping.

"Away!" a voice snapped, followed by something slamming against the door. "I already said I am in no mood for assisting your monetary avarice today!""Dude, it's me," Nazz said, risking a peek through the ajar door.

Edd froze. Nazz was not only in his house, but right at his door! Different reactions turned in his head. Should he ignore her until she goes away? Let her in? Yell for her to leave? Let her speak her peace? The usual wave of sweat, tension, and nervousness swept over him, freezing his cognitive abilities. He stammered, not knowing if he should say "go away" or "come in." No matter, Nazz decided for him.

"I thought you could use someone to talk to," she offered, gently slipping into his room. Edd sat on the edge of his bed furthest from his door, seemingly lost in thought as he stared out his window. The blonde slowly approached the boy as if she was trying to calm a wild horse. She looked around, trying to lighten the mood.

"Um, you have a cool room."

"Really?"

"It's certainly personalized," Nazz mused, suppressing a small smile as she took note of the labeling frenzy the room showed.

"Oh, um, thank you."

"No prob," she replied. Nazz sat on the bed next to him and slowly slid down next to him. "So, you wanna talk about it?" she offered, putting a comforting arm around his back.

"I fear my outburst has only accelerated my alienation."

"Well, obviously not. I'm here, aren't I?"

"I suppose so."

"Well okay then. Now, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," Edd sighed as he idly kicked his spindly legs. "Just a burst of raw emotions breaking out to the surface. It happens to all of us."

"Well, I'm no Freud, but I'm pretty sure that if it happens like that, you're not dealing with it the way you should. Seems unhealthy to stay bottled up like that."

"No one cares."

Nazz blinked. "What would make you say that?"

"You examined my empty existence lately? No one but my fellow Eds like me. In fact, I dare say they may loathe me. As for my friends, Ed is too lost in his own colorful world to reason and Eddy only cares that I have another flawed effort for economic gain. And my parents? That impromptu wallpapering is usually as close as I get to either of them. They're far too busy to do otherwise."

"It can't be that bad, Double D."

"But it is. Sometimes, I feel like I'm trapped on a sinking ship, and you're all staring at my perilous situation but making no move to help."

"Well, maybe you should have said something," Nazz said. A ironic smirk crossed Edd's face, and he gave a self-pitying snicker.

"No one would care. No one ever did, no one ever will. If I told any of you about my misery, I've figured it would either be ignored or laughed at. I think I'm just, well, I think I'm just used to it."

"I'm really sorry to hear that, Double D. You shouldn't have to feel that way. I mean, it's not fair."

"How can I be sure you mean it?"

"I think my lack of laughing or walking off right now may be a good indication of that."

Edd blinked.

"Now, you wanna come downstairs?"

"No, I'm still sick of it."

"Sick of what?"

"My day. Everyday it's the same cursed thing. I wake up, have breakfast, go outside, and there's Eddy, saying "Let's do this, Double D!" or "Sockhead! Think something up!" And it's always the same result: I try, I fail, everyone laughs, I get hurt and or humiliated, repeat several times, and throw in a possible Kanker attack or two. Cue credits. Like a blasted, simple minded sketch comedy show."

"Well, um, I, uh, guess you could look at it like that."

"And the guilt, oh the guilt!" Edd sobbed, leaning back and looking at the ceiling as if looking for heavenly redemption. "I hate it so much. Using my intellect to create mayhem and chaos, hurting and scaring everybody. It just erodes at me, and I seem unable to stop it! My lone chance to made you all want to kill me!"

Nazz blushed. "Well, maybe the paper bag was a little over the top for me."

"And that was just the tip of the iceberg."

"Well, gee, Double D, if it bothers you so much, why don't you just, uh, for lack a better phrase, 'break up' with the Eds?"

Edd sat there for a moment, nodding subtly. "The thought has come many a time. But I can't do that. They're my friends, just as I am theirs. It would be selfish and unethical for me to leave them for ridiculously emotional and petty reasons."

"That's really noble of him," Nazz thought to herself. "Even after everything that's happened to him because he hangs around with them, he still sticks by them. I don't think I could do anything like that."

For a moment, silence pervaded the room.

"Thank you for coming up here, Nazz."

"Well, that's what friends are for, Double D."

The boy blinked, and sat up quietly. Nazz leaned in to whisper her next words gently to him.

"I like you, Double D. And lemme tell you something; you're gonna make something of yourself. Once you get out of here, go to college, your wings'll spread and you'll make something of yourself. A rocket scientist, a professor, an ambassador, maybe even the first man on Mars. But that's not gonna happen if you let us tear you down. We're jealous. That's why everyone's a jerk to you. We know you're capable of something we can never be. We'll still be in a suburb while you're out in, say, New York or somewhere else and a total success. I don't like saying it, but just you wait. These years aren't your best, despite what some moron says. Once you're out there, and the chains of childhood are gone, it'll be uphill. There'll be challenges, but you'll finally be on your way at last."

Tears welled in Edd's eyes as he looked up.

"You really think so?"

"I know so, Double D."

And before he could say anything more, Nazz leaned close and gave him a small kiss on his cheek and a tight hug. Edd blinked, and hugged her back tight. The two stayed there for what seemed an eternity before letting go.

"Feel better?"

"Yes, much," Edd nodded, wiping his tears away with a finger. "Thank you, Nazz. I didn't know you felt like that."

"Well, you never asked," she teased.

"Fair enough."

"Okay then," Nazz responded, before hopping off the bed. She walked towards the door, then turned before going through.

"You know, Double D, I'm not doing anything tomorrow night. Now that you feel a bit better about your role in the cul-de-sac, how would you, me, and all the pizza, soda, and movies we can handle sound?"

"Tomorrow? Pizza? You?" Edd stammered. "Are you insinuating a, a d-"

"Date? Maaaaybe," Nazz giggled. She extended her hand. "C'mon, let's get you outside. You could use some fresh air. And if anyone gives you grief, just ignore it."

"Well, if you insist," Edd smiled shyly.

And with a new found foothold of confidence, Edd took Nazz's hand and they descended the stairs back to the outside world. For some reason, the air never felt fresher or cooler as they exited the house.


Okay, there it is, my first fanfic in three years. You know the drill, gang. :-)

And before I forget, Ed, Edd, and Eddy and all related stuff belongs to Cartoon Network, AKA Cartoon, and the prolific Danny Antonucci. How about giving poor Edd a break next season, Danny? ;-)