Ways to Annoy Edward Elric
1) Tell him that he isn't short; he's just fun-sized!
2) Make his favorite food and tell him he has to drink a glass of milk to get it.
3) Tell him that next time he goes to see Mustang; he should fight fire with water.
4) Call him short.
5) Buy him a ladder for Christmas.
6) Get him a Winry bobble-head doll, so that he doesn't have to break his automail to have an excuse to see her anymore.
7) Tell him his hair looks girly.
8) Give him the number of your hair stylist. Tell him to call them right away.
9) Call him 'Chibi-san'
10) Tell him that 'Good things come in small packages'
11) Ask him why he doesn't like milk. Insist that he repeat this several times, because you do not understand.
12) Tell him that alchemy isn't science, because science says alchemy isn't real.
13) Pretend you are a Vulcan. Try to mind-meld with him.
14) Every time he says something, reply with, 'It is not logical.'
15) Tell him that he should consider high heels.
16) Use his head as an armrest.
17) Mess up his hair.
18) Ask him if he's bipolar.
19) Tell him that you have the number of an excellent therapist, if he's interested.
20) If he isn't interested, tell him they know about the Philosopher's Stone, to trick him into getting an appointment.
21) Tell him to look at it this way; he will never be forced to slow dance at any formal engagements, because all the women are taller than him.
22) Ask him about his hero complex.
23) Wonder out loud how he's supposed to get his license if he can't reach the pedals.
24) Suggest a bike.
25) Get him a bike. Add one of those little bells that sound like fingernails on a chalkboard.
26) Tell him he's emo. Suggest dyeing his hair black, for that 'emo-sheek look'
27) Buy him a diary.
28) Read his diary out loud to the others at the office.
29) Ask him why he won't let Al have a cat.
30) Get Al a cat. Tell Ed he has been out-voted, and Al may keep it.
31) Tell him Envy's hotter.