AN: Takes place after House comes back from Mayfield, about a year after Both Sides Now. Song is "Your Embrace" by Shakira, it was originally listed as a Huli songfic, but I don't write them very well. Also, Lisa Edelstein said in an interview after "Who's Your Daddy" (2x23) that Cuddy probably doesn't have many friends besides House or Wilson, so that's why she had to go to House for the IVF injections. One more thing, like most of my Huddy stories, Cuddy either doesn't have Rachel (since I have an acquaintance named Rachel, who looks a lot like Natalie, that I hate with a deep burning passion) or she won't show up in the story, in this one, she never adopted Rachel. Finally, last thing, House didn't loose his license in this story, I'm kind of sad that he did, even though he does kind of deserve it for abusing the Vicodin (wow, that totally sounds like Vicodin is a real person). *runs from people who believe he should still have it*
So after the long note… here's my story.
Cuddy watched Wilson and House from his office balcony as they made their way into the hospital. Downstairs, she expected that his team, past and present, were greeting him. She sighed, a tear slipping down her cheek, left the balcony, and made her way towards the elevator. But it slid open, revealing House, Wilson and his team, along with Chase and Cameron, all laughing and smiling. As they passed, Wilson gave her a sympathetic glance and followed House and his gang into his office. She wiped another tear from her cheek and hugged herself as she stepped into the elevator, alone, and pressed the button to the fifth floor, where she took the stairs to the roof.
Tell me, what's the use
Of the twenty-four inch waist
If you don't touch me?
Like most local hospitals, she, along with some of the donors, aired occasional commercials on the TV stations, hoping to promote their hospital. Saying that students from Princeton worked there, they had one of the best diagnosticians in the world, how they would keep treating patients until there was nothing they could do, or until they were cured. But now, they didn't show the doctors there, only the setting after hours, and the occasional patient who offered to say something. It wasn't like before House had left, the hospital was known worldwide for his reputation, but now, they relied on other things, but, the hospital itself was still a proud hospital. Its dean of medicine was not.
Tell me, what's the use again
Of being on TV everyday
If you don't watch me?
Cuddy leaned against the outside of the door to the roof, allowing the cool nighttime air of May to blow her tears down her cheeks. She wondered, now, how she could be proud of who she was. Sure, she had a beautiful home in Princeton, and a fancy car. The clothes she wore, along with her shoes, jewelry, were some of the fanciest things she could buy. Her hospital was still one the best in the world, and she had a wonderful and talented staff at her command. But inside, she felt empty.
This house is full of emptiness
My closets full of dresses
That I'll never wear.
She knew everyone in her hospital by name, first and last, and what they did, along with a few closer friends, like Wilson and Cameron, who she knew more about. The people in her hospital, she knew, would do anything to ensure that her hospital was running smoothly. Cameron and her could talk for hours, but inside, jealously burned in Cuddy's throat, she was missing the one thing that made Cameron happy. Wilson was there if she needed him, he gave her advice if she needed it, about almost every single problem she had. But neither of them could compare to House.
My life full of people
But you're my only friend,
My best friend.
Even though she didn't like to admit it before she had lost Joy, she knew that she loved him. House, even though he annoyed him with almost everything he did, was usually right. And, he was right about the fact that she was wasting her time looking for dates online, or adopting a baby. It was fun, she had to admit that, to meet guys who she liked, or choose a child to help raise. But it wasn't everything that she wanted, she wanted House to be a part of her life. Without him, though she never showed it, she was miserable.
Hope it isn't too late
To say "I love you"
Hope it isn't too late to say
That without you this place looks like London
It rains everyday
She wanted him to hold her in his arms, to kiss away her tears if she was upset. She even missed all his sexual jokes that he would make at her, even though they only helped the rumors, when he was in Mayfield. And, when she realized what was going on with him, and his addiction to Vicodin, it hurt that he couldn't tell her. The one kiss they had shared replayed over and over in her mind every night, how she wished that there could have been many more kisses shared between them.
Don't you know it, babe
I'm only half a body
Without your embrace
The door opened a few minutes after she had closed it and Cuddy turned, tearstains streaking her cheeks. She met the eyes of the person standing in the doorway and turned away, looking out over the skyline.
"Cuddy, you aren't downstairs, enjoying the party," House paused besides her, watching her out of the corner of his eye, "Why not, partypants?" He stopped, seeing tears slip down her cheeks at the mention of the nickname he had given her in college.
"Because I didn't want to go." she responded, ignoring the surprise in his eyes at her comment.
Let me tell you what?
My heart is an unfinished room
Any suggestions?
"What's wrong?" Cuddy was surprised at the sincerity in his voice as he turned to face her, still leaning slightly on his cane.
"Nothing," she stared across the skyline, then turned to face him, fresh tears glistening in her eyes. He reached up, wiping her cheeks gently with the back of his hand, then he ran his thumb along her jaw, before squeezing her shoulder.
"You're the only one who knows the whole story, everything that happened that day." He whispered, his hand resting on her shoulder. Her breath caught in her throat at his words, she was caught off guard; she assumed that he had told Wilson on the way to Mayfield, and she nodded slowly.
Don't have to tell you more than that
'Cause no one knows me like you do
Without exceptions
"Everything?" She asked quietly, looking into his eyes. He nodded, confirming his words.
"Everything that I thought happened, everything that happened in your office; I never told anyone. I only told Wilson some of it," he responded quietly. "It was too hard, realizing everything that I had hoped for, was all that … just a dream, a hallucination." Cuddy's breath caught in her throat, did he really mean that he dreamt about the two of them being romantically involved? "I didn't want to face the truth, Amber said to me, right before we went to Wilson's office, that the story I made up about myself was a nice one. Kutner added that it was a pity that it wasn't true." House sighed and turned away from Cuddy, "I wish it was, everything."
This house is full of emptiness
My closets full of dresses
That I'll never wear
"Even us?" She asked quietly, "You wish we were …" she searched for the right word, "…involved?" He nodded slowly, and she went on, "You wish that I had been there, and I could have helped you?" He nodded again and it was his turn for a tear to slip down his cheek, which she reached up and brushed away gently.
"Ever since … I don't even know when I started liking you." House began, "It was mostly a physical attraction at first; the fact that you were pretty, the fact that you have a great ass." Cuddy blushed at his words, "Then, after a while, I started liking you for who you were, what you thought about people."
"Is that why you kissed me after I lost Joy?"
My life full of people
But you're my only friend
My best friend
"I don't know why I did it," he admitted, "I asked myself the same thing. And I wanted to know why you kissed back, you who always denied that you liked me."
"You're my best friend House," Cuddy whispered sadly, "I've waited so long for someone to mean as much as you do to me, but it never happened. No one ever meant anything more, there was always something about you that I liked better."
"So it was because that I'm your best friend, that you kissed back?"
Hope it isn't too late
To say "I love you"
Hope it isn't too late to say
That without you this place looks like London
It rains everyday
"No, it was because … because," she turned away, wiping her eyes as tears slipped down her cheeks. House reached forwards, wiping them with his thumb, his other hand resting against her waist.
"Because what?" He asked, taking some of his weight of his cane and resting his other hand on her waist, so she faced him.
Don't you know it, babe
I'm only half a body
Without your embrace
"Because, I love you, and I didn't want to have my heart broken." Cuddy whispered quietly, looking at the ground.
"You what?" House tilted her chin towards him, "You love me?" She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck, and sobbing into his shoulder.
"I loved you more than anything, and I didn't want to risk having my heart broken."
Hope it isn't too late
To say "I love you"
Hope it isn't too late to say
That without you this place looks like London
It rains everyday
House tilted her chin towards him and kissed her gently, before resting his forehead against hers, "You going to be okay now?" She nodded, stretching up on her toes again, pressing her lips to his. He smiled, "I think you will be."
"I love you," Cuddy stepped back, her hand in his, "Let's go down to the party now." Wrapping an arm around her waist, House led her to the stairs and they walked down them and took the elevator to the fourth floor and entered his office, still holding hands.
Don't you know it, babe
I'm only half a body
Without your embrace
The six people in the room turned to look at them as they arrived, all eyes focused on House's hand, which rested on Cuddy's waist. They smiled as she took an unconscious step towards him and kissed his lips gently, resting her forehead against his, "I hope it's not too late to say I love you."
AN: Okay, please review this one, it took me over an hour to write. They don't have to be good reviews, since I know House was a little OOC, but I assume that Mayfield is going to change him, so he don't know who he's going to be when he comes back to PPH.
Thanks,
KM