Title: JAG Personality--Mattie
Author: Chicmns
Summary: This popped into my head right after I read the original version, a "Stargate Atlantis" story from author Jammeke: "Personality" (great job!) I hope you don't mind, J, but I decided to use it in the JAG universe. I'm starting this particular chain with Mattie, and will go through as many characters as I can manage … hopefully building it into something that gets more and more valuable to the JAGsters over time.

I've gotten a few of these in my time, too … and they're always hilarious (and quite revealing). Looking forward to your reactions and comments!

What is your name?

Mattie Grace Johnson (will be Mattie Grace Rabb, soon!!) … and if you call me "Matilda", I'll get my Dad to kill you.

Where are you?

In my apartment … trying to avoid doing homework. So, thanks!

What are you wearing?

Is this Andre? Because he's forever trying to shock me by asking this very question at, um … interesting moments. Whatever … I'm in my biplane pajamas—and you would not BELIEVE how hard it was to find these suckers!

Eye color

Grey/green … depending on my mood; or so I'm told.

Hair color

Red

Relatives

Loaded question; let's see … dead Mom, drunk Dad; incredible, fantastic foster Dad; super, loving, beautiful soon-to-be foster Mom; cool, best-ever young woman who I consider my sister; the best grandparents EVER on my foster Dad's side … and tons of new friends who are practically family, too … how's that for an answer?

Is there someone with you?

Nope, just me and my sis who's making dinner … my foster dad's coming by soon to join us, I hope!

Type your name with your elbow

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Type your name with your foot

Um, maybe not … you'll have to find yourself another girl for stuff like that—the elbow's as far as I'll go in this relationship.

Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate—it makes me smile, and reminds me of my best friend Andre

Have you ever jumped out of a plane?

Not yet—but it'll happen when I'm at the Naval Academy, so check back with me in two years.

Movie

You would think "Top Gun", cause it's Harm's favorite … but I've gotta go with "Titanic" – guess I'm a little bit of a romantic sap

TV-show

"24", "Chuck", & "The Office" – WHY can't they schedule these things all in a row?!?

Song

Right now, it's "Us Against The World" by Westlife … even though Andre makes fun of it. He can be a jerk sometimes!

What do you do for a living?

Right now, I'm a slave to the high school system. Gonna be a Navy pilot, so I can shoot and bomb things for fun--and make the world safe for democracy, like the old man. Don't tell Harm I called him that—he's kinda sensitive about the age thing, even though he looks like he's 25!

What were you doing before you opened this?

Trying to find something else better to do than homework. Thanks for showing up—I owe ya!

Coffee or tea?

Coffee—even though I'm never going to be a heavy user of the stuff. Don't tell the Admiral.

What did you have for breakfast?

Captain Crunch cereal—NOT that tufu crap Harm tries to get me to eat! I'm a teenager, for Christ's sake! Sometimes he worries me.

Favorite color

BLUE! Did'ya forget the Navy thing already? Sometimes I lie and say green, cause Mom's a Marine. But just to make her happy, that's all. She, of course, looks good in everything—can you say "drop-dead gorgeous?" That's my foster Mom! (In fact, that's my sis, too, to be honest … which leaves me as the "runt" of the bunch, maybe …)

What are you listening to right now?

New Radicals on the iPod, and some Miles Davis Andre gave me. For a teen, Andre's got strange tastes in music. Listens to just about anything except that chanting crap; mostly old stuff, though. He teaches me more about music than anyone else—and we're the same age!

Winter or summer?

Spring. Best time to fly, in my book. Air's crisp, smells new … and even the plane feels special!

Last thing you ate?

A meatball sandwich Jen (the sister) made me for lunch. And if she doesn't hurry up with dinner, she may be seeing that very same sandwich again—whether she wants to or not!

Do you smoke?

Naw. Harm made me quit. Just kidding—he'd kill me if I did, if I didn't do myself in first. What a dumb habit!

Which country would you like to visit?

Used to be Australia, then I heard about Mic Brumby. Now that's the last place I want to ever be, even though they're really good allies of ours. Looks like I have some issues to deal with, huh?

Favorite place

I know this is going to sound like a cliché, but being in the air … I just love flying, and I'll fly as long as I possibly can. I dreamed the other night that I was flying F-22's with Harm and Andre … that was the coolest dream I've had in years! I actually woke up crying and smiling at the same time!

What do you want to be when you are an adult?

Do we really have to go over this again?

Do you like thunderstorms?

Used to. But then I got the call that my Mom had died during one, so not so much anymore. But, Andre absolutely loves thunderstorms, so maybe I will again, someday...

Biggest fear

Losing another person I love … #1 being Harm. I tear up every time I think about that. Please don't ask me that again.

Do you swear?

Hell, no! Whoops! Seriously … between Harm and Mac—yeah, not gonna happen till I'm 18. Who cares, anyway? There's more to language than cursing—or so Andre tells me.

Have you ever climbed a mountain?

No, not really. Was promised it a lot when I was a kid, but the parents fought too much for it to ever happen. But the other night at dinner, Harm promised me we'd take a hiking/camping vacation this summer--once school lets out, and he can get the time off from the Admiral. Just me and him! I know it'll happen, too, because Harm promised me.

Attracted to

You know, I was on my own for so long, and away from other kids … I'm just now getting back into that particular scene. Needless to say—not a word to Harm, right? Anyway, there are some cool guys at school--but they all seem like … children, to me. Is that weird, or what? No problem, really—I've got Andre for a best friend. What else do I need?

What would you do if you only had one day left?

Not a fun question for me, but I'll answer anyway—spend it with Harm, Mac, Jen, Andre, and everyone else I love. Oh, my God—did I just include Andre in there?

Of course, you did … why wouldn't you— you stupid girl? I am such a coward sometimes!

Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?

That would be Jen. After I got home and said hello, the next (and last) thing I said to her was, "Where's my dinner, woman!?!" I don't think she took that one too well … I've heard her banging around in the kitchen for the past half hour. It was just a joke!

Can you sing?

I can. Question is, should I? My supposed "best friend" Andre says NO! Bastard.

Can you dance?

Yep. Better than Harm, at least. Geeze, that guy needs lessons!

Hot chocolate or coffee?

Hot chocolate, baby!

Do you drink your coffee with whipped cream?

Hey, the whipped stuff ALWAYS goes on the hot chocolate! Don't make me come over there!

Favorite candy

Tootsie Rolls! Gimme gimme!

Are you a health freak?

Not at the moment, but I'm sure that's going to be one of a million things the Navy and I have long and fruitful discussions about!

First thing you notice in another person

If it's a girl, their hair. If a guy—their butt. (Hey, I'm a teen girl, so sue me!)

Whose shoes would you like to stand in?

Mac's. She's my hero, next to Harm. And she owns, like, 10,000 pairs of shoes! It's her one obsession—other than Harm, that is! Snickering

Batman or Superman?

Batman. Hey, if you're Superman, you pretty much have to do the hero thing, with those kinds of powers. But if you're just a regular Joe like the rest of us, and you wanna step up to the plate—you're likely going to be a lot like Batman. Just my opinion (and Andre's, too).

Money or happiness?

Happiness … but if you have any extra cash, we can talk further.

Do you believe in God?

Not sure. In my admittedly rather short life so far, I haven't seen much to make me sign up for the idea. But Andre does (God, there I go bringing him up again!), and I trust him. Not sure how Harm feels about it; we haven't really talked about the subject much yet. I know he believes in spirits—he says his Dad's always with him. I don't even have to ask about that; I've always seen it on his face, ever since we first met. Maybe I'll ask him tonight.

The stupidest thing you've ever done

Coming very, very close to not letting Harm into my heart. I've never told him that, though.

Would you like to get married?

Wow, that's a distant subject! All I know about that is he probably will be in the military. Maybe even a Marine—but don't tell Harm. I'd never hear the end of it!

Do you have a pet?

I had a dog and a cat at my old house. Couldn't bring either one with me to DC, though—they were country animals, and the city would've killed them. So I left them behind with neighbors. When Harm and I get a house of our own, maybe we'll have a dog, too.

Biggest ambition

To serve my country in the Navy. Before I met Harm, all I wanted to do was fly. Now, I want to fly with honor and distinction, and protect my country. Especially after 9/11.

Best friend

Got a clue yet? Andre! It's the weirdest thing. He was the first person I met when I started school again, and ever since that first day … when he made sure I could find everything, and even ate lunch with me … we've been "thick as thieves," as Jen likes to say. You wouldn't think it to look at us together, but we have so many things in common … and he is just the coolest, most honorable kid I've ever known. I found myself trusting him 2 minutes after we first met—and that's only happened once before in my life; when Harm and I met. Plus, Harm likes him—which is a BIG thing with me.

Last body part you injured

Hah! You'll never believe this, but I cut my left index finger eating ice cream last weekend! I'm not going to go into details, but suffice to say I'm still hearing about it from both Jen AND Harm! Sometimes I can be such a klutz—it's embarrassing!

Favorite book

"Romeo and Juliet" Tell anyone, and I'll kill you. Harm thinks it's the freshman manual for the Academy. Poor man.

Are you afraid of the dentist?

Yes … but I feel better whenever I remind him that my Dad flies 50 million dollar killing machines for the Navy, and sues people in his spare time. Haven't experienced much pain since.

Do you find these questions dumb?

A little … but we all have our burdens to bear. You're no different, I'd imagine. Whoops—sorry about that crack. Harm's always after me to be nicer. Mac and Jen do it all the time, and he never chastises them!

Have you showered recently?

Why? Are your long-range sensors registering any threats? Well, report it to the Captain, pal—I could care less! Seriously, I did—this afternoon, after gym. Need any photo evidence?

Do you like to camp?

Yes.

Crush on

Derek Jeter. God, he's SO cute! He's the ONLY man I'd maybe give up the Navy for. MAYBE.

Who are you going to send this list to?

To my best friend Andre, who I know will laugh his head off … but who also better keep his trap shut, or I'll dropkick him into next week!! Who loves ya, babe!!

Anything to add?

Got any spare Tootsie Rolls on ya?