In Squire Kel receives a 'painful head gash' when she forgets to wear her helm, due to over confidence., and is taken to the healers by one Osbern who tells her of other men's lovely tales and all the 'lovely' wounds they received and how. This is what I imagine he told her!

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned these lovely characters, but alas I don't! If you are reading this, why, I am quite certain that you know I don't own them… ha-ha. Oh, well, I can claim that what happens to the other 'fellows' is of my own imaginings!

Oh well, enough of my rambles, on to the story!

"Could be worse", Osbern told her cheerfully as he escorted her to the healers. "I know a fellow who was on watch duty. Well, stupid fellow, thought he would, you know, 'rest his eyes' for a little while. What he forgot, you see, was that he was leanin' on his pike. Well! You can imagine his Watch Cap'n seeing him sleeping on the job! Shouts like the bellows at him! Well, the fellow wakes up, sharp like, and salutes - forgettin' about the pike in his hand! Ahh,, lets just say it took a few of us fellows to yank it out of his thick head. His mother always did say he was a bit thick headed!" Osbern trailed off, nudging Kel in the sides.

Kel grimaced, yet Osbern still continued.

"There was this other bloke, mane of Lesbern… or was it…Las… Oh, I don't know, I forget," he said cutting himself off. He nudged Kel again. "The 'positive' sides of old age aye? Well! He was out fishing you know?"

Kel nodded.

"Flung his hook behind himself accident like. Well, I suppose you think he caught his own breeches or his boot or something? But no! This bloke, see, he was always a bit 'special' like. Nope, he almost got himself an eyeball! From the man stood behind him!"

"Oh! How horrid!" blurted out Kel.

"Aw, it was OK. The man behind saw something on the floor and bent to pick it up. The fly from the rod, just missed his eye. Went in his cheek instead", broke of Osbern laughing loudly.

Kel turned an interesting shade of green. Imagine she thought to her self, this was accidental! Oh, please no! He's started another one…

"… Hunting, right?"

"Umm, yes?"

"Well, he sees a deer through the trees. Looked to him like a right interesting beast. Well, to himself he thinks 'I'm out hunting, better shoot it,' what he didn't realise was that this 'deer' was another soldier, one of his friends, out hunting too! In the mans defence, he did always have dodgy eyes. Dunno why they even let him out! So, he gets his bow and an arrow together, aims right? And fires Well, where do you suppose it hit's the fellow? Right in his…"

"Oh my!" literally shouted Kel, cutting Osbern off before he could finish. "Look! We seem to be at the healers! Already! THANKYOU so much!but, I'd better get healed now! Bye bye now. It has been an ………umm, experience!" trailed of Kel, "one, I'll never forget" she muttered.

Well, Thankyou if you have got this far! I hope you enjoyed it!