Mike 2009 Owners Manual

Well, now that you have bought the Mike 2009, you need to about the Mike 2009.

First you need to know what he can do for you.

This Mike 2009 is fully functional and all body parts are functional. He is also programmed to speak in five different languages. His most popular quotes are as follows:

Be my squeeze toy.

I am you personal golden retriever.

I'm scared of the dark.

He is programmed to cling to like a magnet and when you leaves the house he will sniff at your pillows and laundry and use the scent to go find you, no matter what you are doing.

WARNINGS…VERY IMPOTRANT…DO NOT IGNORE

In the past we have had complaints about Mike 2009 and came up with some basic rules and cautions for interacting and general safety.

Remain fully clothed around Mike 2009, he gets too excited and his actions cannot be controlled.

Do not introduce him to your boyfriend, he gets jealous and…oops, I'm not allowed to mention the last few incidents without the presence of a lawyer but I think you get the picture.

Do not leave him in charge of your children, we don't cover therapy expenses that may, pop up, after Mike baby-sits.

Do not let you Mike 2009 out of the house without a leash. Like any other golden retriever her will run away and get hit by a car.

Do NOT under any circumstances give your Mike 2009 alcohol, he may try to go too far with you.

Refund Policy and Liability

You cannot get refunds on your Mike 2009; No exceptions.

We are not liable for any actions that may occur once your Mike 2009 arrives to your home.

Accessories

Have no fear; your Mike 2009 comes with a few accessories to help with the car of Mike 2009. They are as follows:

2 leashes

2 Flea collars

1 tazor

1 years worth of dog-treats

3 outfits

1 tuxedo

His favorite toy (Barbie's play house, with matching accessories)

2 of his favorite magazines (Teletubies Monthly and Playboy)

Also Available

Edward 2009 …12.99

Bella 2009 …12.99

Jasper 2009 …12.99

Alice 2009 …12.99

Carlisle 2009…12.99

Rosalie 2009…12.99

Esme 2009…12.99

Emmett 2009…12.99

Limited Edition

James 2009…15.99

Laurent 2009…15.99

Victoria 2009…15.99

PLUS

With a purchase of any of the following models you get to choose one free model from the following list

Jacob 2009

Seth 2009

Jessica 2009

Lauren 2009

Charlie 2009

Aro 2009

Jane 2009

We are not responsible for any deaths, loss of blood, rumors, groundings, arguments of fur in the house that may occur from any of the models*

Thank you for taking Mike 2009 of our hands… Oops, I meant to say 'enjoy your Mike 2009' Sucker.