Freeing one hand so that he could place a hand on her cheek, John knew they had almost cast out all the shadows that had so recently been growing between them. Now if they could be free of the last one and start on the future they had both dreamed of at one time.

"I only wish you had been honest with me." he said, his voice still filed with emotion.

She closed her eyes a tear falling unbidden, "I was scared. I've been so scared."

"Anna." He waited till she opened her eyes. "You need never fear me. No matter what you need to say to me, or how angry I seem, I will never hurt you. If you had told me you didn't want children I would have respected that, I would have-"

Anna's finger went to his lips. Her perfect husband, he deserved the truth. "John listen to me. I swear to you, I have no need for that device. I swear I have never used it nor ever intended to. I want to have your children more than anything in this world."

"But, why?" He was at a loss. If what she said was true, and he truly wanted to believe her, then how did it get in to the cottage?

"It wasn't for me"

"But you bought it?"

She nodded, he sighed, almost exasperated, "Anna, please."

"If I tell you, you can't breathe a word outside these walls." Surprised at how serious her face had become, he nodded. Ann took a deep breath "It's Lady Mary's"

"WHAT!"

"Ssssssh!" Anna said placing her hand over his mouth. "Do you want to wake the entire village!"

"Lady Mary?" he whispered!

"You remember the trip a few weeks past. Well it wasn't for sketching, she was booked into a hotel in Liverpool."

He almost looked ill, and Anna mused at how Lord Grantham would take the news if this was just the reaction of his valet. "With who?"

"Oh please don't make me tell you. I wasn't to breathe a word of it to you in the first place." John nodded accepting her response, he knew the tight restrictions that came with their job. Being honest he wasn't sure he wanted the details. Anna was relieved he hadn't pressed for more information and was glad he seemed to believe her, it broke her heart to think he had been torturing himself thinking she never wanted to start their family. She thought back to the shop lady's attitude towards her when she'd purchased the item. Part of her was still tempted to go back and order a hundred just to prove her point. "I was mortified when I had to go in and ask, that lady was so rude. Honestly, I could have had a dozen children at home she wasn't to know." She said out loud to him, he looked as though he were still trying to process everything.

She looked up from the spot on his jacket when she heard his first snigger. Confused, she was utterly shocked as he burst into laughter and though still oblivious to what had sent him in to this state, his laughter had always been contagious.

"I'm sorry Anna but the thought of you trying to discreetly make the purchase.." he trailed off laughing. There was no point in her trying to keep a straight face, the pair of them giggled till tears were streaming down their face. With every laugh the shadows left their home.

When they eventually managed to regain control, John pulled Anna on to his lap. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

Ann pressed her forehead to his, "We've been doubting each other."

"No more." He said solemnly kissing her lips softly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

They sat together quietly, basking in each other knowing that there were no more lies or doubts between them. Anna's peacefulness was disturbed as John let out another giggle.

"A dozen, Mrs Bates?

"At least a dozen," she pressed her mouth close to his hear, "John."

He couldn't help the shiver he felt as her teeth grazed his ear lobe, "Well," and Anna shrieked as he stood and lifted her into his arms, "We best not delay any further."