Author's Note: Reposting a poem I am quite fond of that I wrote awhile back on Tumblr in case Tumblr finally goes down in flames.
The Snape Who Stole Christmas
He didn't dress up as the Grinch,
He would never have done,
He did not like the costume,
Or the Christmasy fun,
That was linked with this story,
A Muggle-known rhyme
Were it not for that Cracker,
He'd not have the time,
With a flash and a sizzle,
And a flurry of green,
And some gold, and some glitter,
A new image was seen.
No more Potions professor,
That stood there, instead,
There was only a Grinch,
Who thunderously said,
"YOU DAMNED FOOL HEADMASTER!
YOU PLANNED THIS, YOU LOUT!
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS?"
Then he turned with a shout,
And he twisted his wand, yes,
Then twisted some more,
And all of the trees,
Flew out of the door,
The Great Hall was strung up,
With tinsel and holly,
But the Snape Grinch just laughed,
(Though not at all jolly),
"You wanted a grinch?"
He said with a sneer,
"Fine, then, I'll steal
All your Christmas this year!"
And with a billowing of green,
(While they all stared in shock),
He Vanished the decor,
And the holiday clock,
Which the school used each Christmas,
To count down till the day,
"Now there'll be no rejoicing,
No damned holiday!"
With a villainous smile,
The Snape Grinch then fled,
He snatched all the presents
Then boarded a sled,
"You dunderheads sicken me,"
He said, in a funk,
"You think it is funny,
To force me into this junk.
However, this joke,
Is beyond you, I fear."
He transfigured a sleigh,
And summoned reindeer.
They then flew away
like the down on a thistle,
Which was so very impressive,
Dumbledore gave a whistle.
And they heard him exclaim,
As he drove out of sight,
"Bugger Christmas you all,
Snape is out for the night!"