Who'd Have Known?
{Blue eyes that I lost myself in, how long ago, I'm not sure. All I know is that I wanted out because I knew we were too immature. So I ran. I ran away when I was only 15, too afraid to even tell my best friend, Libby. My phone rang too much so I threw it in the sewer, I felt like I was brand new, and only getting newer, each step I took was a shedding of my old skin and soon my life, my heart, my head began to spin. Look at me now I'm in pretty tough shape, and the day that I saw him, I barely recognized his face but he new mine and he's known it all the time, He said to me slow-ly he wanted me to come home, please. I refused to go, unless it was in the other direction if he thought with just a smile that he'd regain my affection, he was wrong like he always has been I saw in his eyes that he knew he would win.}
"Sweet-heart... Now are you gunna want bacon or hash browns on the side?" I look up at the waitress, curly red hair that matched her heinous lipstick and fingernails. She finished pouring my coffee "Can I have both?" I asked feebly. She rolled her eyes but nodded and walked back to the kitchen. I sighed and put my head on the table. "So, Vortex," Jimmy piped up from across the booth "you know it's been 4 years since you left Retroville, right?" I glared at him best I could, being as tired as I was seeing as though I haven't slept in a couple of days, (although that was norm for me nowadays) "Yes. I know. Got anymore smartass questions?" he laughed and shook his head sipping his coffee like the arrogant, gaudy, stupid, disgusting "I was just saying a lot has changed since you were there. Like your mom moved out from across the street" Wait. "She did? Were is she?" I ask a little too interested since she was another big reason I left "I don't know, none of us knew, she didn't like us very much so when ever some one asked she'd ignore them." He smiled; I did a bit too, but only a bit.
"What else changed?" I asked looking out the window of the Cafe-de-Nowhere we found driving from where ever I wondered to, I think Oklahoma. "Well, Carl moved, his mother up and left when a dry heat caused his asthma to flare up big time." He said a little desolate, "Sheen changed I guess you could say, he recently broke up with Libby." "What! How recently?" He waited for a while trying to think, leaving me hanging, why would he do that? How is Libby? Oh god Libby, I haven't thought about her in "about a year and a half ago, but they were having issues anyway, ever since you left" he shrugged. "Ouch. How'd Libby take it?" I ask, putting my hair in a bun. He laughs, "Like I know? Cindy, I don't think you know this, but I left three years ago to go look for you. The only contact I've had was through Sheen and all he ever said to me about the subject was 'I don't wanna talk about it.'" The waitress interrupts my thought with breakfast and honestly, who can think when there is bacon involved?
We ate in silence so I guess I kind of just let my mind wander. I occasionally looked up from stuffing my face, 'Jimmy does look a lot different.' His jaw line stopped being so curvy, he grew at least a bazillion feet 'ok, 3 but you know what I mean' his hair got curly for some reason, but, it sort of worked for him, in a surfer kind of way. His body definitely changed, his arms grew into his hands, his shoulders squared, and he wore a bit more fashionable, though worn out outfit: A shaggy-unbuttoned button-up that was white plaid and a stained dark blue undershirt. Still next to him I looked like a short nasty dog that needed to bathe. 'But first things first, I need to eat'.
After eating Jimmy paid and we walked out to his ratty old rust-red pick up truck. Goddard sat up in the bed and barked "Heyya boy, yah miss me" Jimmy laughed rubbing his dog's metal head. I climbed into the passenger seat, full and sleepy, and waited for him to finish his love session with his prize-pooch in the Texas summer heat. 'God. Really Jimmy, he's a dog, and not even a real one' "Sorry, Had to feed Goddard some lug nuts" he said getting in the front seat and taking out his keys. I nodded just for the sake of acknowledging him but I continued looking out the window. After a while I hadn't realized we weren't moving still until Goddard barked again, I looked over at Jimmy who hadn't even turned the car on. He just sat there staring at me, not cold, but not warm, he sort of just stared. "Yes?" I asked rudely, with one eyebrow raised-up. "Cindy, I've wanted to ask you something for a really long time, would you mind?" he asked nervously, unintentionally getting closer. I rolled my eyes "sure go ahead, just make it fast I'm pretty sure I'm almost medium-rare it's so hot in here" he laughed but little did he know I wasn't kidding. "Why did you leave?" he asked suddenly holding his breath waiting for me to answer.
I knew it would come when someone would ask me that. I knew why I left; I never could formulate a response because I don't think he'd understand. We were young and when we pushed that barrier down between us we so carefully laid out in the fifth grade, we went at each other like a flood, something everyday it was so stupid. By fifteen we were getting pressures from high school to do things we both knew we weren't ready to do, well, I knew anyway. Nerdtron here didn't. So when I tried pointing it out we fought and I told him I was done with this immature petty arguing about what I want to do with myself. And I left. I don't know why I didn't just break up with him, it would have been easier and I would have still had food and clean hair, but it being me we are speaking of, I had to be a drama queen. It was so unlike him to pressure me too. But it was like him to have to be the right one in every argument.
"Cindy?" he asked putting his hand on mine, electricity ran down my spine, "Why did you leave?" I pushed off his and crossed my arms "I told you the day I left. Was that not enough for you? You know as well as I do why I left, seeing as you were the one who made me" "I didn't make you do anything Vortex! I'd never make you do anything" "Oh yeah!" I yelled, "What about when we were in high school huh? When you made me" "Oh come on, what? That's sick" "Don't play innocent Nerdface I know what happened" I screamed struggling to take off my seatbelt "Oh no wait, Cindy don't go" he said his face starting to get a bit more warm. "It's too late Neutron. You always have to push me away don't you? I start feeling a little bit better, heck even up to coming home for the first time in 4 years and you go and blow it YOU RUIN EVERYTHING" I give up trying to undo the seat belt, tears cooling down my red hot face. I guess I just sat there and cried for a while, he watched me, his eyes flicking over my body anxiously. Eventually through my sobs I heard him start the car and get back on the road.
"Cindy" ... "Cindy" I barely parted my eyes, squinting at the tiny light in his old car, it was dark out so I assumed I fell asleep in my post-rage crying. "There you're awake, come on I rented us a place to stay tonight so you'd be more comfortable" I made out Jimmy's face, wiping my eyes I let him help me up. I guess it was sort of nice of him to do this I'd give him that. "Where are we?" I choked out, groggily walking to the outdoor motel our room door already open. "5 o 6 miles from Retroville. Here I made your bed for you" he said really nicely, "I'm sorry about earlier" I looked at him in silent uninterest 'what? All I'm interested in is sleep, give me a break' "And four years ago I guess. If it makes you feel any better, I've changed too." He smiles a sheepish, sneaky smile at me and I roll my eyes. That discouraged him great. "You can go back to sleep now. I guess we can talk when we get back to Retroville." And with that he walks to the bathroom leaving me with the heavy, heavy realization that I'm 5 to 6 miles away from my home, my friends and my old life and I'm not even sure I want it.