Disclaimer: As always i do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or the characters They are the property of Gainax studios and i wish they were mine!

Part 2 of the scenes i used in An episode of Ayanami Rei, part three will be put into this story making it a 2 part story!

Existance

Infirmary

Heavy. My body feels heavy… What happened? I slowly open my eye, my left is bandaged. "Familiar ceiling," I murmur slowly, staring up at the infirmary ceiling. It is the same ceiling I find myself gazing at after an accident with Eva. The same ceiling that defines my existence, my role as a pilot. I slowly bring my hand up under my weary gaze, I'm still alive. It wasn't acknowledgement but a simple and sad fact. I still exist.

What happened. Why am I here? I sit up suddenly in realisation, ignoring the protests of pain that my body sends me. My blue bangs brushing near my field of vision. "Ikari," I whisper softly as though he would be the one waiting for me to awaken, turning my eyes to my bedside.

Images of a berserk Unit 01 surface from my memory. The renegade Evangelion devouring the 9th angel becoming a beast. A force not bound by mankind but a savage animal.

"Ikari…"

3 Days later – Dummy plug core facility

It's been 3 days. 3 days, and still Ikari hasn't come out of Unit 01. Does he wish to remain there? Does he find comfort in that solitude? My eyes are closed, my body bare and mind at ease. It is necessary in order to synchronise with my other selves. Selves that currently have no purpose and just exist. They are like me, just an empty shell, hollow on the inside. We are beings just like a scarecrow. We have a function and use, but are made of nothing but straw on the inside. I open my eyes to stare at the world tinted orange. It smells like blood.

"You're not going to Unit 01's side?" I ask the commander as I exit the chamber. He is sitting there, towel in hand.

"Dr Akagi will take care of everything," he states, adjusting his glasses. "There's no need for me to go." I stand before him, he towers over me, carefully draping the towel over my shoulders. It quickly becomes tainted with the colour of LCL.

"What's going to happen to him?" I ask as we gaze at each other, it wasn't one of trust, just one of acknowledgement to a superior.

"What's going to happen? No one knows yet… It may be that only Eva knows for sure."

His eyes widen slightly in surprise as he brings his hand up to caress my cheek. No! Don't touch me! My hand instantly shoots up to block his advance a shocked expression flashing across my facial features for the first time.

"Rei…" the commander states a small amount of worry evident in his voice.

"Sir, I have to go," I monotonously reply quickly walking off. I never once looked back at the commander.

Who am I? I never understood myself. There's a void in me. It's always there, always empty. I feel as though I'm made of straw. I remember being afraid of it. I'd fill it up by thinking of Commander Ikari.

But one day, before I knew what was happening… he was there inside. I didn't think he'd come back after Suzuhara, but he did come back. He saved us all.

Shinji… Come back again. You must not stay there.

4 days later – Unit 01 cages – Salvage operation

"Doctor, the pulse, it's become fixed in a loop!" Maya shouted over the intercom. I could only stand there and watch as the technicians attempted to retrieve Ikari from the Eva.

"Set for omni-directional rebroadcast! Transmit over entire range of wave forms!" Doctor Akagi ordered in response. Her face growing concerned.

"Negative!" Maya responded, panic evident in her voice. "The signals trapped in a klein space!"

"What does that mean!?" Major Katuragi asked in worry, turning her attention to Doctor Akagi. Doctor Akagi didn't even look at her.

"Shut… it down."

What did she just say? I ran to the balcony overseeing unit 01, as the sounds within the command centre continued to be heard over the intercom.

"Eva has rejected the signal! Plug pressure rising"

"Shut it down! Abort sequence! Cut all incoming power!"

"It's not working! The plug's being ejected!"

I watched as the entry plug opened. A wave of LCL spilled out of its depths. With it, Ikari's clothing tumbled into existence and then out of sight. All that was Ikari was within that entry plug, the throne of the soul. I stood, cemented the ground, watching Unit 01. Shinji. Are you going to stay in there forever? Did he find solace within the Eva's confines or did Eva not want to let him go?

No. There is still time. Please… Come back Ikari! I don't want to be made of straw anymore.

I put my hands together as though in a prayer. There was still time. There was still a chance for him to return. There was still a chance for me not to be empty, incomplete… hollow.

I am you. You are myself. You are what used to be me. I lean heavily onto the handrail. I am projecting myself to Unit 01. I won't let it take Ikari. I won't let it take what is most important to me. I won't let Eva control him.

Yes. You are me. I am what used to be you. So then… Why? Why do you interfere?

It's reply comes heavy and weighs me down. It's nothing like the void that exists within me. You can't! Don't take Ikari away. My legs grow weak. That illuming darkness is drawing near. Give him back to me! My eyes close in concentration, making it a command. My knees hit the ground but it doesn't even register.

"What's the point of all this, if it can't even save one life?" sobbed Major Katsuragi. She had collapsed on the gangway, hugging Ikari's shirt. "Give Shinji back! Give him back!" She demanded at Unit 01.

Give Ikari back! I won't let you take him away. A soft thud causes me to look up. Ikari is there, lying in the LCL. "Shinji!" shouted Major Katsuragi as she hugged Ikari.

My breathing is short and laboured. I am barely able to support my own body weight. but...

"I feel… happy."

2 days later – NERV corridors

The sunlight is pouring through the windows of NERV. It isn't real sunlight, just an artificial creation used to illuminate the Geofront. I sigh softly as I walk the corridors, pushing the trolley full of medical supplies. It's been 2 days since Ikari emerged from Unit 01 and he continues to reside in the infirmary under that familiar ceiling. I sigh softly as I continue forwards. The door to my left suddenly slides open, as my eyes open wide in shock.

"Ikari," I automatically respond.

"Ayanami," he replies back to me. His dark hazel eyes gaze into my crimson ones. It wasn't full of passion or love, just acknowledgement and maybe even awe. "Th… thank you."

"Why?" I ask. He has no reason to thank me.
 "Why? I don't know. I really don't know," he fidgets nervously. "But I felt like thanking you when I saw you."

My eyes advert from his gaze as I tighten my grip ever so slightly on the trolley. "Ikari… I'm glad that I saw you again. But… was this what you wanted?" I ask unsure of myself. Did I do the right thing? Was I being selfish in my desires?

"To be honest, I don't know that either. I don't remember what happened inside the Eva," my eyes continue to advert from his. Neither of us knew what was right or wrong or what we wanted. We just continued our existence. Simply for the sake of that promise. "It's just…" my eyes snap back to Ikari's hazel ones. His gaze was… comforting.

"I'm glad I saw you again as well, Ayanami."