T.T I don't own bleach or Ulquiorra, but I will just have to face reality.
Something had gone terribly wrong in Hueco Mundo. Aizen had seen it for himself. "I wonder if on earth if it's a full moon?" he asked Gin who was casually perched at the arm of his chair.
Ulquiorra strode with a small smile on his face, as he walked into the kitchen. "Tacos make the world go round." He sang happily as he began to assemble the ingredients for his Beloved Tacos.
Meanwhile Grimmjow jeagerjaques who hadn't insulted anybody for a whole three hours was skimming through People magazine.
"Lindsay Lohan is going to jail again? Why the hell do I even read this crap?" he asked himself as he tossed the issue out the window.
Somehow something willed it to blow into the kitchen two floors down. Ulquiorra was just frying the beef for his tacos, humming to himself as he did so.
He turned his back for a quick second to chop some tomatoes. The magazine landed in the beef and promptly caught fire. Ulquiorra's tacos were ruined.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" his yell was heard all through Las Noches. Grimmjaw even hid in his closet. "Damn you jeagerjaques! YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY TACOS!" he yelled as he threw a metal spatula at the wall. His force was so great that it cracked it.
Hallibel burst through Grimmjaw's door. "You idiot! You ruined Ulquiorra's tacos! Do you know how bad that is? He will destroy you!" she yelled as she threw a can of cheese whiz at his head.
"Holy Shit, Jeagerjaques is in for it." Aizen said as he watched the monitors. "This is going to be funny." Gin said as he came back with some popcorn from the kitchen as soon as Ulquiorra left.
Ulquiorra burst through Grimmjaw's door. "my baby tacos, you killed my little tacos!" he whined with crocodile tears running down his face. "I-I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" Grimmjaw said as he tried to escape through the window.
Ulquiorra advanced on him as Grimmjaw grabbed the cheese Whiz. 'damn, he figured out me weakness.' Ulquiorra thought as he tried to spray it at him.
"NOOOOO! NOT CHEESE WHIZ ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Ulquiorra yelled as he transformed into a flying burrito and left through the window.
Aizen and Gin sat there with wide eyes. "What the hell?" Gin asked. "but now we can use this cheese whiz against him, and try to control superman's powers!" Aizen yelled with a maniacal laugh.
"Ulquiorra doesn't have super powers. And…he's not superman." Gin said as he reached for more popcorn. "Shut up! He is too Superman! I saw it myself!" Aizen yelled as he ran through the hallway. "What the hell was that about?" Gin asked himself as he watched the monitor.
Okay this was my first attempt at a comedy story. Tell me what you think. If you liked it I might be able to write some more^.^