Amazing, I finally uploaded a story. I'm nervous about things like this, so...whatever I guess. Flame away, it's just a drabble that kept me sane throughout most of my summer. I'm lazy and unmotivated in sooooo many ways, but I'll put up the entire first half since that's what is written so far (I tend to get bored and start other stories while writing one to keep from putting dumb plots or characters or unnecessary smut haha). So yeah. That's happening. Also, since I wrote this in one huge ass story, the chapter breaks will most likely suck and seem like retarded cliff hangers, so bear with me. I'm trying to smooth the wrinkles out so it's a smoother transition.

Anywho, enjoy (I hope).
Kuma

Disclaimer: Loveless is owned by Yun Kouga and Zero Sum. Those lucky bastards.

Illusion: Chapter 1

Even in this pitch-black darkness, I can feel the Zero's presence. There wasn't a need to ask who was at the door, at least not for me. Ritsuka, however, called out timidly to the boys opposite the door. I felt something else as it opened, and cringed inwardly at the bloodied body in Natsuo's arms.

Ritsuka rushed to help Natsuo lay him down on my bed, and I watched silently, feeling something pulling at the back of my mind. Someone else was outside.

It almost feels like...

I tried to clear my head, to get a better feel for what I was detecting. It felt familiar, and that alone made me uncomfortable.

I pushed Yoji out of my path as I heard the system initiate. His confused glance made it clear he had not heard what I was hearing, had not felt what I was feeling. I ignored Ritsuka's voice as I ran down the stairs outside and towards the dark alley, where I could physically see the outline of someone moving.

I held my breath, shaking and trembling so badly I wasn't sure I could even continue in the direction of this form, this familiar presence.

Once I was close enough, I held out my hand, grasping the dark coat and pulled it towards myself. Too many unidentifiable emotions seemed to burst through my reserve and I almost lost it as I pulled him into a tight embrace. "Seimei...I…," His arms tightened around me the longer we stood there, both as silent as the night air curling around us.

"Soubi, it's been too long," Seimei's voice sounded reluctant, strained almost. "But I'm not here to become reacquainted. I only came to deliver something to my little brother. How is he doing?"

I finally let him go, tears pushing against the corners of my eyes. "Ritsuka is doing well, but why? Why haven't you come before this? Where the hell have you been?"

Seimei pushed his finger against my lips, a small smile forming on his own. "I came here because Tokia needs you, as well as Ritsuka. He can't continue in his present state, he'll go mad. I've kept him as long as I can, and now it is time for you to follow my final order, Soubi."

"Anything," I managed to say.

"I want you to keep him, Soubi. He is your soul responsibility from now on, just as Ritsuka is. You are to train him, Soubi. He needs to be the best kept secret, which means no school, or any public places. If they find out he has made contact with Ritsuka, they will kill them, as well as anyone who lives in your house." Seimei's voice was electrifying; the command made crystal clear.

"Understood."

He turned, throwing me a small smile. "I'm leaving now, Soubi. This really will...be the last time we ever see each other."

I stood completely still for a panicked moment, watching as he left me once more. No! Not again, I can't lose you again! I screamed at him inside my head, and finally my feet reacted. I easily caught up with him, violently grabbing him and turning around. His eyes widened in surprise as I boldly kissed him. "I can't let you leave me like this again, I just can't." My words were pathetic, and I suppose I looked the part even more so.

Seimei frowned at me. "Does this mean you're going to disobey me, Soubi?"

"I'll never disobey you, but I just...I can't let you leave me like this again."

"Then how do you propose I leave you, Soubi?" He asked, sounding annoyed.

I inhaled slowly. "I want...to be with you Seimei."

He tilted his head, staring curiously at me as I began to feel embarrassed. "Soubi, you can't request something like that from me. Not now, and not ever."

"...I have never asked anything of you before this. Would you deny me even what should have been ours to begin with?"

"The consummation of feelings should be one of mutual consent. I have to say Soubi, I'm rather averse to the idea of sharing a bed with you."

"I'm not even asking that much of you. Just...to lay with you, if permission were granted." I could feel my face getting hot the more I begged. I wasn't going to let him get away without saying what I wanted to say.

The consequences didn't matter to me anymore. If he were to beat me within an inch of my life for speaking to him out of place like this, than so be it. Anything would be better than if I had said nothing at all.

"I suppose it doesn't matter anymore, now does it? If I allow you this moment, this one precious moment, will you do as I say?"

I nodded. "Yes."

It was severely clichéd that this was happening in such a place, but it didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was the bared form beneath me and the heated moments in between. I tried to be as gentle as possible, but I had been holding myself back for too long, and when Seimei's breath became ragged, clinging to my back, I lost my last little bit of control.

After wards, I curled my arms around him, burying my face in his neck just to be as close as he would allow. Surprisingly, he kissed my forehead.

"Are you satisfied, Soubi?" His tone was mocking, almost malicious, but his tender touch betrayed his voice.

"I don't think there is an appropriate answer for that," I answered truthfully, pulling myself away. I looked at him straight in the eyes, searching for something, anything really. "It wasn't a matter of satisfaction, though."

Seimei waved his hand. "Oh, but it was partly satisfaction. It comes about third in line to desire and lust. Either way, you got what you wanted from me, didn't you? It's time we parted ways once more, Soubi."

Part of my heart sank; that melancholy shroud of anxiety cloaking me once again.

As we exited the motel, I grabbed him roughly, kissing him hard on the mouth. He didn't resist or yell at me for it, only smiled a little and bid me a farewell. Somehow I felt even lonelier watching him leave than before.

I stood for a long while outside my apartment door, debating whether or not to actually go back inside, to see Ritsuka's face. There's no way he won't suspect me of infidelity. It's practically written all over my face. I didn't have too long to decide, especially since the door swung open.

"Damn, where the hell did you take off to?" Yoji demanded. I didn't answer, choosing to walk past him to check on the boy Tokia. His stark white hair stood out against my black comforter and sheets, his face still extremely boyish in some ways. I gently reached out, barely touching his cheek.

His eyes shot open and he recoiled from the contact, an odd noise escaping his throat. I pulled my hand away as he backed himself into the corner, eyes wide with sheer terror.

"Tokia?" I asked. "That's your name, right?"

He nodded, but only just. I slowly reached my hand out to him, and he stared at it. I could already tell he'd been abused, both physically and verbally. It wasn't that hard to figure out when he avoided making eye contact and physical contact.

"Uh, Soubi? Is he all right?" Ritsuka's concerned voice caught my attention and I turned to him.

"It's hard to tell since he's backed himself in a corner, but he looks fine." The last part of my sentence was spoken slower as I realized the pain showing on his face. "Tokia, are you sure you're fine?"

His head shook and he looked completely horrified as he pulled the blanket closer, as if he meant to be swallowed by it.

"Soubi? He's been running a high fever since we found him. Maybe you should give him some medicine or something?" Yoji suggested.

I shook my head. "No... It's something...else." I slowly crawled onto the bed, reaching out to him. "Tokia, I need you to trust me. You have to tell me what's wrong or I can't fix it."

His eyes traveled fearfully over everyone else in the room. I got the hint, and looked back at the three young men crowding us. "I think he wants everyone else out of the room?" I glanced towards Tokia again and he nodded, but it was the barest trace of a nod.

Even Yoji left the room without a snippy comeback, which I was more than grateful for.

"Tokia, are you hurt somewhere I can't see?" I asked, and he nodded, this time the pained expression worsened.

Tokia slowly pushed the blanket away, trembling. He drew his legs apart and pulled off his jeans, but still covered his groin with his hands, tears just streaming down his face.

I felt my stomach in my throat as I gently pulled his hands away. When he finally yielded, I couldn't help the gasp of horror. At first, I thought it was the lighting, that maybe my eyes weren't right, but the more I stared, the more I realized that this was the work of someone cruel and unrelenting.

"C-Castrated..." I whispered in disbelief. I reached under my bed and pulled out the first aid kit. I took out the gauze and antibacterial cream. Tokia made a noise of protest and discomfort as I tried to gently smear the cream on the crudely cauterized wound. I pressed the gauze to it as kindly as I could, but he still hissed in pain. For something so ridiculously extreme, it was a wonder he was even responding to his environment.

"Tokia..." I gulped, unsure of how I should handle this. Sure I'd had the shit beat out of me, but never had something so cruel ever been done to any Sentouki. Other than the occasionally lost eye, as in Natsuo's case, there weren't ever that many life threatening injuries. Not like this. "You'll need to stay in bed until this gets better, got it? There's nothing we can do until it fully heals and the wound closes. I'll let you wear my pajamas so your wound isn't aggravated."

There wasn't much of a response from Tokia, only a slight shift in his eyes. The fact they were such a light shade of grey made them beautiful, but they were also strangely empty, devoid of any emotion.

I helped him change into my baggy clothes. While he wasn't stick thin like Ritsuka, his build was still quite narrow and small.

I stood to leave the bedroom to get him something to help get him to sleep, but he unexpectedly grabbed my hand. I stared at him in surprise as he pulled me back onto the bed. I laid perfectly still as he leaned his head against my shoulder.

The longer we laid there in silence, I realized something terrible. Whoever had done that despicable act was most likely the one who raped and abused him. Seimei's ears had been in tact until a few hours ago, so it couldn't have possibly been him, but...

What have I gotten myself into? I asked myself, feeling the warmth as he curled his knees up to his chest. He looked so broken I couldn't help the gut-wrenching feeling of guilt and empathy for him.