AN: So this just sprung to mind and I wanted to write it out. Sorry its not super polished, but it's bugged me for ages and I just wanted to get it out. I never did understand why Kakashi accepted Team 7, when their display of 'teamwork' was pitiful and constantly eroded.
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"You fail."
The words were delivered flatly, lacking an ounce of emotion or kindness. The three graduates froze, eyes wide in disbelief and horror. Sakura's eyes began to fill with tears and Naruto's hands balled into fists, but before the obnoxious tirade could begin, another's voice cut in first.
"Bullshit." Sasuke was rigid with anger, nearly vibrating from it.
"Nope. You still fail. All of you fail." Kakashi's voice gained some flippancy, but it wasn't really an improvement and certainly didn't temper the Uchiha's ire. Rather the opposite – the lack of reaction only drove him to new heights and it would've been no surprise if he suddenly burst into flames or something given the look of him.
"You can't fail me." The words weren't a whinge, there was no begging in his tone, just anger and self-righteousness. As if he was calling Kakashi out for breaking the rules of the universe or something.
"Too bad." Now there almost was a trace of humor in the jounin's voice, which was definitely worse. Was he really amused by destroying their dreams? Their plans for the future?
"You can't do this to us!" That was Sakura at last, shrill and desperate, she at least included the other two (or just Sasuke probably) in her words.
"So sad." Not even a mite of sympathy, and Kakashi turned his back on the three of them in a clear display of rejection, in case it wasn't plain enough.
"I'll become the best Hokage even without you!" Naruto abruptly declared, even though devastation was writ across his face. Kakashi was glad he had his back to the boy, because he didn't want to see that across the face of his sensei's son, but there was no way he was going to take any of these three 'genin' onto his team – none of them were ready. None of them were in any way prepared for life outside of the academy, and he wasn't going to take responsibility for a group of babies.
Unfortunately Sasuke seemed not to have gotten the memo on that one, since he took a step towards their almost-sensei, a wordless snarl caught behind his teeth. As if the displeasure of the last loyal Uchiha was meant to sway him, like it seemed to have done so many others.
Something seemed to have changed in the years since Kakashi was a child. Admittedly he hadn't been a very normal child, but he'd been on a team and he'd worked with other teams not to mention tested (and failed) genin teams of his own so he considered himself to be somewhat knowledgeable about it. So he could say with certainty that the quality just seemed to keep declining.
Was this what peace did? Was this what softness looked like? Kakashi had been half their age and twice their maturity when he was a genin. Of his genin team, Rin had been shy but not stupid, and Obito had been a baby but that was still two out of three attitudes for ninja.
These children knew nothing of anything, and were wholly unprepared to be taken outside the walls of this village, to fight for it. Teaching them was part of a jounin sensei's job, but to take out these three would just be asking for them to be slaughtered – none of them were serious about being ninja.
That was a good line actually, so Kakashi hummed for a moment and then glanced back at the three to deliver it.
Naturally, the three of them went rigid with indignation (or more rigid in Sasuke's case, the kid ought to have cramps holding himself that tightly). Naruto burst into blustery shouts as expected, though Sakura shrank back in recognition of the words at least.
Sasuke attacked him.
It wasn't even a very good attack, and he shifted to the side with a decidedly unimpressed expression as the boy lunged, screaming at him. He was ranting too, but to be honest Kakashi wasn't listening, tweaking a finger in his ear and shifting just slightly to dodge the attacks like he was a tree in the breeze.
Eventually the outburst became less funny and more irritating, so Kakashi simply extended an arm at the right time and Sasuke lunged right into it, winding himself.
"You're not serious about being a ninja." He said again, pushing the boy off his feet and onto the ground. "You're serious about becoming a murderer, and that's very different. Konoha isn't in the habit of training its soldiers so they can run off and do whatever they want. Ninja serve the village. Ninja of Konoha work in teams and look out for fellow Konoha ninja." In theory anyway, but if Sasuke wanted to go crawling to Danzo then he was welcome to, though he'd be just as unable to go off on his vendetta as an emotionless slave as a loyal Konoha nin, or as a village-bound prisoner, whichever he chose.
Sasuke of course growled at him and heaved himself back onto his feet, face tight with anger and humiliation. Kakashi didn't give any of them another look and disappeared into the trees without another word, leaving the three children in the clearing.
A year later the same three students stood in the classroom being given their team assignments. Sakura was quiet, but had a serious expression on her face, ignoring Sasuke entirely. She'd retaken the year of her own volition rather than join the genin corps or drop out, though it was a near thing. In her grief over her failure, she'd rekindled her friendship with Ino and had sought help from the other girl in her training.
Naruto stood determinedly, hands clenched into fists. Iruka had had to tutor him extensively in his more academic classes, but there had been some improvement at least. More effective had been getting the demon container in touch with Gai, who gave him an outlet for his energy and a (marginally) better role model for adult behaviour. The main was flowery and excessive but at least he was polite and knew when to stay quiet.
Sasuke had raged impotently in the aftermath of the test, but ultimately retaken the year as well. Mostly for lack of options, since he wasn't allowed to leave the village, particularly as the last of the Uchiha and a valuable commodity in Konoha. He'd attended less than half the classes but passed his tests, only time would tell if he'd pass the genin test this year or not.