Ok everyone.

Since I don't want to spoil the plot please be sure to check out the A/N at the end of the story for a few explanations. You don't have to read it to understand the story, but you will want to read it to understand why I wrote this.

See you later!

My hands shake as I remove the bottle of pain killers from it's hiding place in my dresser.

If you were to ask how I feel I would only be able to explain using the simple word, empty.

A shell of who I used to be. Lost and alone wandering through the sands of time waiting for the end of the pain.

Time and time again I've tried to reach out to my father. To explain the constant state of numbing torture.

After my mother past away everything has taken on a gray tone.

I laugh, I smile, and I put on a show around my friends, but I'm not ok.

Somewhere along the lines I started thinking about all the ways I could escape from the constant torture of playing pretend around everyone only to lay in my bed, alone in my room, and lose myself in my thoughts.

Nobody ever said that your thoughts could be the worst kind of suffering.

Nobody ever told me that words could easily be weaponized against you.

Nobody even mentioned, 'hey, it's not possible to live up to all these expectations.'

So why do I even try anymore?

What's the point?

I'm sick and tired of letting everyone down.

Tired of not ever being good enough.

I stare at the bottle of painkillers in my hand, the very same that I've stashed in my room for months trying to find the perfect time when my father is asleep.

It's not like anybody will miss me anyway.

I'm taking hold of my glass of water when my phone chimes.

I groan and grab my phone ready to shut it off when I see the message popping up innocently on my phone.

-Marinette-

Are you ok, Adrien? I didn't see you at school today.

-Me-

I wasn't feeling well this morning and decided to stay home.

-Marinette-

You've been sick an awful lot lately. I hope you feel better.

Why do you care? You hardly even know me.

For a moment I debate telling her. She's always been kind, reserved but kind.

I quickly decide against it. I couldn't possibly burden her with my petty problems. After tonight this will all be over so what's the point of dragging her into this?

-Me-

What are you doing up so late?

-Marinette-

Truth is, I've been really worried about you. You always seem like something is upsetting you. I want to help but everytime I ask if you're ok you always make the same excuse.

I glance at the bottle of pills I had planned to have taken by now.

-Marinette-

What ever you're going through, I know it's hard but you're not alone. I'll be here if you want to talk.

I sigh and set the pills down on my night stand.

What do I have to lose?

-Me-

Truth is, I'm not doing so well…

Ok so… Why did I write this?

You see five years ago in spring of 2014 I made my first plan.

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.

You'd be suprised how easy it was to come up with the things Adrien told himself.

Those things were all things I said to myself.

I couldn't tell you how many plans I had for ending my life but this story is dedicated to the people who stopped me each and every time.

Namely being my parents and my best friend.

Guys unless you've been through something like this it's easy to not understand what it's like.

While death sucks, sometimes people like me believe that there's things out there that are worse than death.

While I may haev recovered I want to to look around you.

You don't know what's going on in other peoples heads.

So I urge you, think twice when you say things to other people.

Bullying, Depression, Suicide, and Self Harm are all things I would never wish apon a human being.

So many of you say you love my writing but if it hadn't been for a little kindness on my worst days I wouldn't be here.

So please, if you are or know of someone going through depression, be kind.

Because no matter what anybody tells you, kindness really can save lives.

I'm living proof.

-Claire