"Well, Host Club, it's been decided!" Tamaki said extravagantly, waltzing into Music Room Three. The heads of five hosts and one Haruhi turned to look at the tall blonde. In his hand, he held a smartphone. Well, that wasn't abnormal, this was Tamaki we were talking about. He was always holding a smartphone, recently. He had been on a social media kick for the last week. The twins and himself had gotten into a battle of likes, Tamaki pouting and deactivating whatever accounts Hikaru and Kaoru's photos had gotten more likes on than one of his two thousand selfies. People were suckers for twincest.
"Decided what, boss?" asked Kaoru.
"We're all getting Tumblr accounts!" The twins were already downloading the app onto their phones, Mori was discreetly trying to explain to Honey why he couldn't have a Tumblr, Kyoya was ignoring him, and Haruhi was blushing like mad.
"Here you go, Haruhi," Tamaki said, picking up the rosegold iPhone that Tamaki had given her. "It's not spelled how you think it is. It's spelled T-U-M-B-L- oh, you already have it."
"Uh, I, um," Haruhi stuttered. "Senpai, don't get a Tumblr. It's just a bunch of people complaining about men and straight people and money. You're part of the minority. Don't get a Tumblr. Hahaha..."
"Oh, don't be silly, Haruhi! I'm sure the commoners will love me!" He picked up his own phone and began plugging in letters. "What's a good username? Oh, I've got it! TamaCoffee! I'm so creative!"
"We've got ours!" The twins held up their phones. They had already set up their cover photo. A picture of the two of them snaked in each others arms. Their username: Twincest69. How subtle.
"What's your username, Haruhi?"
"Uh, I actually, um. I don't have one. I deleted it. It's... Uhh," she slumped down in her plush chair, but Tamaki had already forgotten what he'd asked. He was too busy posting his latest selfies.
"How do I see how many likes I've gotten? Do I just type my name here?
"Where?"
"Into the bar that says 'Search Tumblr?' Let's see... T-A-M-A-K-I. Tamaki."
"No!" Haruhi shouted. She watched in horror as Takami's face transformed from confusion to embarrassment.
"I, uh, had no idea I was so," he scrolled down, his face growing more red with every swipe. "popular..."
"You can't be more popular than us already! K-A-O-R-U and H-I-K-A-R-U."
"Wait!" Haruhi tried desperately to draw the boys attention from their devices, but it was all for naught. The twins faces fell into a deep red.
From the corner Haruhi heard Mori say, "M-O-R-I and H-O-N-E-Y."
"Oh, god..." Haruhi whined. Though he didn't vocalize it, Haruhi could tell that Kyoya was also taking advantage of the search bar by the way he was smirking.
"Well, it looks as if we are all rather," Kyoya chuckled. "popular."
"This isn't happening. This isn't happening," Haruhi said, rocking back and forth under the coffee table. Meanwhile the boys phones filled with inappropriate fan art and dirty fanfictions. All of which were centered around shipping the members of the host club. Every member except...
"Daddy, a Tamaki Fanfiction?" Tamaki said, Haruhi swiped at his device, but he effortlessly dodged her attacks. "'Oh, Tamaki,' you say sensually. 'Y/N, don't make me say it again,' Tamaki says, grabbing your chin. 'Call me Daddy.'" His faces went bright red and he scrolled through all of the smutty details.
"This artist has a very backwards opinion of who would be the top," Hikaru said defensively.
"As does this one. Apparently I have birthmarks all over my chest." Kyoya squinted at the screen and smiled. "Oh, wait. Those are hickeys, I digress." Mori stared wide-eyed at the screen, using his body to shield Honey's curious eyes from the inappropriate images. A light blush dusted his cheeks.
"I can't believe so many people love us enough to go out of their way to draw us and write about us and... oh Kaoru, look! They got the birthmark on your butt right!"
"Hikaru!"
"I don't think it's as many people as you think," Kyoya said, pushing up his glasses and scrolling through the feed. "Most everyone of these posts is from the same account."
"ScholarlySins," the twins said together.
"You're inside source for all Ouran High School Host Club art, fanfiction, and smut," Tamaki read aloud from the bio. "First year, gender fluid, Aquarius -H.F... Who do we know with the initials H.F.?"
"Haruki Fujimaki?" Asked Hikaru and Kauro simultaneously.
"Hinata Fukuoka?" Suggested Mori.
"Hotdog Fight?" Honey said unhelpfully, though no one would have guessed that he was throwing out an actual answer. There was a pause. A small chuckle rumbled in the corner of the room. Koyoya spun around to face the group, dastardly smile playing on his cheeks.
"Haruhi Fujioka." Silence hung heavy in the air, followed by a loud thunk. The girl had collapsed onto the floor, twitching every so often. The hosts all stared at her in disbelief. Hikaru cleared his throat.
"You think she found out about the Tumblr account we made about her?"
~The End~