Washing the dishes with fury Bilbo thought about the previous evening. His clever and nimble fingers clutched at cutlery and crockery while he imagined that he was grasping at the flesh of the most infuriating dwarf he had ever met. The tall, muscular and prideful Thorin Oakenshield, with piercing blue eyes above the straight line of his strong nose, and with a voice so low that its made Bilbo's insides feel funny. Thinking about that insufferable dwarf made the hobbit red with anger yet deep down Bilbo knew that he HAD to see him again, that the dwarf had walked into his life and that he, the son of Bungo and Belladonna, had to do something about it. Putting the last of china tea cups out to dry – a quick glance to check if any had been chipped – he made up his mind. The head of the Baggins family grabbed his coat, hat, brolly and a piece of paper and rushed out the door.

.

"So, where's YOUR ... Burglar?", Thorin, already mounted and thus less height challenged versus the Emissary of the Valar to the Free Peoples sneered at Gandalf.

"Just you wait, Thorin, for events to unfold just as they should", the unperturbed Istar replied.

"The only thing unfolding here, wizard", the last word was half spat out, "is us unfolding down that road."

"Yeah!"

"Yes!"

"We will follow wherever you lead, our King!" – came from the coterie of yes-dwarrow Thorin had assembled for the quest.

.

"Hey! Wait for me!" came from the hillside where Bilbo was jogging towards them and waving a piece of paper. He was accompanied by another Shireling and a large dog. The emotions on the faces of the dwarrow reflected their bets. The scowly scowl on Thorin's face became even scowlier – he could not show to others that secretly he was overjoyed to see the Child of the Gentle West. The soft skin of his face, covered with a gentle down like brush of hair, the smoothness of his gestures, his almost feline like grace of movement, full, smiling lips, sparkling eyes, dainty ears ... he felt butterflies in his lower belly.

.

The hobbit reached the Company and – out of breath, handed a piece of paper to Gandalf and Balin, who interposed himself between his Prince, his King and the Burglar.

The wizard's eyebrows shot up.

"Now here, Bilbo Baggins ..."

"NO LONGER "MY DEAR BILBO"!?" - Bilbo managed to roar like his ancestor the Bullroarer.

"That's what you get for hoisting 13 savages like these on me" – Bilbo waved his hand at the dwarrow – "barbarians who make the Loudfarts of Southfarthing look like paradigms of manners and decorum."

.

Meanwhile the weathered Hobbit and his large dog were weaving their way amongst the dwarrow. Sniffing at a certain mischievous eyed dark haired archer produced a serious of meaningful barks. The hobbit asked the archer for his name and added it to the piece of paper he held in his hand. He then looked around for a more serious dwarf than the one he had just spoken to, as the aforementioned certain prince was practicing pulling at his ears and sticking out his tongue at the dog at the same time.

The Hobbit was intercepted by Balin who examined the paper and - with an ominous "hmmm" - passed it on to the most direct descendant of Durin in fifteen foot radius.

"This is preposterous!" – the pretender to the throne of the Lonely Mountain spluttered.

.

"I don't care that your younger nephew has facial hair problems, that he had a childhood of playground beatings due to his slight built and choice of weapon! He is NOT housetrained! He should be SUPERVISED! And as he's a member of your Company you ARE responsible for him! I'm so glad to see the backs of all of you that my offer of an Out of Court Settlement is a pittance of what usually goes in the Shire for such ... for such ... incidents!"

.

While Bilbo was practicing his lungs at Thorin, the Grey Wizard slowly, as not to attract attention, nudged his mount and tried to leave the grounds before the inn.

Something whizzed before his nose!

But it was not the pouch with coin he had anticipated to win from Bilbo's participation on the quest. It was a stone thrown by a Bounder of the Shire, as the unfriendly looking Hobbit had the distinct feather of his Office in his cap and was pointing at Gandalf to rejoin the Company.

.

And thus the first morning shared by Bilbo Baggins and Thorin Thrainsson "Oakenshield" was their last. Bilbo never regretted this fact, while Thorin got himself killed soon afterward and was not available for comment. Kili died still not housetrained, leaving evidence of the fact in Rivendell, Beorn's House, Thranduil's Dungeons, Laketown and various rooms in Erebor.

AN:

1 – Gandalf was handed a Court Restraining Order forbidding him to set foot within 200 yard radius of Bag End and not to approach Bilbo closer than 20 yards;

2 – Thorin was presented with a Court Order demanding payment for all the food and drink (all of the Best Quality) consumed by the Company, to the sum of 11 (saying - eleven) Silver Pennies and 8 brass. Plus an offer of an Out of Court Settlement to the sum of 10 (saying - ten) Silver Pennies in moral damages for the turd left in the drawer with bed linens by Kili, son of Dis, identified as the culprit by Bolg, the Court's sniff dog of Good Repute;

3 - in the book Bilbo had to wash up on his own.