Alice's POV
Emmett was listening to his favorite song on his iPod: Jizz in my Pants by The Lonely Island.
"A song comes on that reminds me of
you and I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
The next day my alarm goes off and
I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and
I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of
sixth sense I
JIZZED IN MY PANTS
I just ate a grape and
I
JIZZED...IN...MY PANTS," He was just...well...quite
frankly, I do not know how to describe it. Was that supposed to be
humping? He looked like he was killing the sofa.
"Emmett!! Stop killing the sofa! I like that one..." I pleaded.
"Oh Alice...You're so sexy when you're mad. It makes me...JIZZ IN MY PANTS..." He started talking to me but broke off in song.
THE NEXT DAY
I swear. I will take his iPod away. He was listening to Bloodhound Gang's Bad Touch. I don't know what he was dressed as, but it looked like an armadillo.
"Please
turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me
yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Love it just
like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch
"X-Files" He was singing so out of tune, I was almost
positive I would not be able to hear for a week.
THE DAY AFTER THE NEXT DAY
He really needs to get more appropriate songs...today his song was Incredibad by The Lonely Island.
Who writes songs about messing with aliens with three holes??
"We
pounded the drinks, and started getting tipsy.
We took our
positions, and started getting frisky.
One in the front and two in
the back;
Had it locked up like a Chinese finger trap." He
started trying to act the scene out. I quickly hid under a rock and
started cutting myself. OK... maybe I didn't...but I wanted to.
"Alice? Are you getting the idea?" He questioned.
"What idea? You want to fuck me doggy style like an alien because you jizzed in your pants?"
"No! Come on, I'll show you." He dragged me to the bedroom and took out an alien costume and his armadillo costume.