Holby City belongs to the BBC.
Better Left Unspoken
For once I was caught unawares, I didn't expect Sahira to ask that question. I normally pride myself on being prepared for whatever situation I come across. Yet I felt utterly powerless to respond to her. I'm not one for expressing my inner thoughts and deepest emotions. Do I love her? The sheer bluntness with which she posed the question rendered me speechless for a moment. Of course I said I didn't – what else could I say? It wasn't a lie, but strictly speaking it wasn't true. I've known Sahira for several years. At Southampton and Colchester we worked closely together, I was her mentor on both occasions. I've watched Sahira grow and become the talented surgeon she is now. Like watching a flower slowly come alive in the spring.
I am not a sentimental person, frankly I can't fathom why people divulge so much of their personal lives. I can never understand the need to tell everyone everything, some things are better left alone. Yet here she was asking me... I admit I handled the whole scenario very badly indeed. I shouldn't have man handled Sahira out of my office. I detest displays of public emotion at the best of times. She always tries to get some sort reaction out of me.
"I just want you to feel something, show some emotion!"
Can't she see? Is she that blind? I don't know exactly what Sahira wants from me. I am what I am.
I'm not one for hearts and flowers. I most certainly do not reveal everything to everyone. The thought of being the subject of idle hospital gossip does irritate me, but I'm used to it now.
I sit back in my chair, and listen to the soothing sound of Beethoven as it floats around the room. Sahira's words have cut me deeply, I haven't felt like this since my parents passed away. Bereft almost. But how can you miss something that you never even came close to finding in the first place? I rub my temples, I can feel a migraine coming on. I slowly thumb through the pages of my Swedish dictionary.
I find the phrase I'm searching for.
Ord racker inte, ibland saker och ting batter lamnas osagt.
Words are not enough, sometimes things are better left unsaid.
Just a little oneshot after Tuesday's episode.
Please review.