Jack Mercer sat at the dinning table, flipping a playing card between his fingers. It was his sister Elle's card, the Ace of Hearts. The brothers had made a point of winning it for her during a silly poker game and she had cherished it ever since. It was more than a playing card to her, it was a symbol of family and hope. Well we say sister but she was actually his adopted sister. Everyone in the Mercer household was adopted. Evelyn had adopted him, his three brothers and his sister because no one else would take them. He himself had been in countless care homes and foster families, and each brother even more before him.
Jack stared aimlessly at the card, passing it between and through his fingers, his mind elsewhere. Earlier that morning had been the funeral of their mother Evelyn. Possibly the worst moment of his life. He had been through some hell, nothing he liked to think about, but the death of the one person that had actually given a dam about him in his pathetic excuse for a life hurt more than anything he could imagine. But worse than that was Elle's reaction. That girl had been to hell and back, and made countless trips. She was a shell when Evelyn had brought her home 6 years ago. Her nightmares, panic attacks and silence were just the start of a whole host of problems from her tortured mind but the family, as dysfunctional as it was, made sure she fought past them.
Evelyn's death however had evoked her silence once again, it seemed a little more than just grief, but he couldn't be sure. She never spoke a word at the service, nor at the gathering after, she hadn't even greeted Bobby and Jack when they arrived at Jeremiah's house. Jerry had mentioned his concern but the constant flow of people passing on their condolences had kept questions at bay. Even the journey back to their mothers house had been quiet. Elle now resided in her room, music blasting from her speakers.
Jacks daydream was interrupted by Angel, his second oldest brother placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey cracker-jack" he grinned, his pearly whites shinning in the light
"Hey man" Jack reaching up to pat his brothers hand, letting the card fall from his hands in the process. Angel ruffled his hair before taking the seat across from him.
"How you been man, a missed you Jack" said Angel.
Jack looked at his brother, tiredness etched into his young face. Angel had been wild, always in trouble, until a few years ago when he joined the Marines. He had become more disciplined, but they still very rarely saw each other, once every nine months if Jack was lucky, but Angel never lost his Mercer qualities.
"Am alright, keeping it together" he answered. Speaking openly about feelings had never been Angels strong point, but Jack appreciated his attempt. There was silence at the table for a few minutes until Bobby walked in from the kitchen.
Jack was glad to see Bobby again. Bobby was the most hellish person in the world, always in trouble, anything big happened he was most certainly behind it. But Evelyn had never given up on him, he was probably a saint compared to what he would have been like without their mother. Bobby and Jack had always been close, he trusted him, had told him everything that had happened to him and Bobby had dealt with it, in only the way he knew how.
"What you starin' at you little fairy?" he asked gruffly. Jack coughed, realising he had been staring and averted his gaze. Bobby sat at the head of the table. He looked at his two brothers. Any stranger would have looked at Angel's dark skin and wouldn't think there was any relation, but blood didn't matter in this household.
"So, what you been up to Bobby?" asked Jack, glad to have his brothers home.
"Geez Jack am a bloody college professor…What you think I've been doin'" he answered, reaching across and picking up the fallen card.
Angel smirked at Bobby's response, whereas Jack threw a sarcastic look at his brother.
"Yeah I can believe that" he scoffed. There was a knock at the door, and Angel left the table to answer it.
"So…how you been Jack?" asked Bobby, not looking up from flipping the card in his hands.
"You mean since you left?" asked Jack "I've been ok I guess, I survived, I'm not that hopeless" he laughed. Jack looked at his brother, saw the slight hurt from the dig at his absence, then saw his face then darken as Angel entered the room, followed by Detective Green and his another man, probably his sidekick.
"Green" said Bobby, acknowledging his presence. "Saw you managed to make it to the service then, Ma would have been grateful"
"Hell Bobby Evelyn would have been happy that you made it back for her funeral" said Green. Bobby scowled.
"I didn't come back for a funeral" he stated. Jack's gaze passed from Bobby to Green. Green opened his mouth to answer but his partner stepped in.
"Thanks for the offer, but we have it sorted" he said
"Yeah I noticed on my way in, Detroit's finest finally cleaned this place up eh Green?" mocked Bobby, ignoring the other cop.
"A kid playin' basketball across the street saw a couple gang members shoot the place up, we'll get them" Green's partner continued.
"Seriously? I used to make a good livin' of these streets coz cops like you couldn't find tits in a strip joint" mocked Bobby. He had paused playing with the card, it sat loosely in his hands. Jack stifled a laugh at Bobby's image. Green sighed and shot a look at his partner.
"Look just say what you came to say and leave" said Angel, perched on the arm of the couch and keeping his eye on the new guy. Green looked at him.
"We came to talk to Elle again, we need her final statement" he said. Confusion passed over Angels face. It dawned on Green that the brothers didn't know what he meant.
"About the shooting?" he continued carefully, "Elle was there, the only person to see the shooters face's" The silence in the room confirmed that the brothers hadn't known.
"Well" sneered his partner "looks like someone didn't even know there was tits to look for" he said. Rage flashed across Bobby's face.
"You-"
"We'll come back later then" cut in Green. He motioned to his partner before offering his condolences and leaving.
The room was silent. Bobby sat in disbelief. It all fitted so perfectly now, how little Ellie had been so silent, so…empty. If she had seen their mother killed, he shuddered to think how she must be feeling. He looked at his brothers, the same look on their faces. Nothing was said. Jack got up slowly from the table and left the room, followed closely by Angel. Bobby heard them go into their rooms and doors closed. Bobby looked down at his hands, surprised but not shocked to see a fist. He opened his hand and stared at the clenched card in his palm. He opened up the card. A single crease was etched along the card, through the heart. From his angle it looked like the heart had been cut in two.
Bobby felt a rare clenching in his throat and slowly stood up, before dashing to the bathroom. He wasn't sick, thankfully, but in the privacy of the bathroom, the stress of the day, losing his mother, and the news he had just heard was just too much, even for him and he let the tears flow. His heart hurt, he hated himself for not being there more often, for not being there to save her. He sobbed quietly for a straight ten minutes. Once he had gathered himself, he splashed water on his face and dried it, removing all traces of the tears, before leaving the bathroom.
He could hear gentle strumming coming from Jacks room, the music from Elle's room had stopped, so he headed down the hall. He stopped at the door way for a second before entering the room. Jack lay on his bed with his guitar.
"You been cryin' in here you little fairy?" he asked, sitting himself down on the floor beside Jacks bed.
"Leave it alone man" sighed Jack, stopping his strumming and wiped away a tear. There was silence for a few minutes.
"Still makin a lotta racket on that thing?" Bobby nodded at the guitar on Jacks lap. Jack let out a tired laugh.
"Yeah, still makin a lotta racket" he answered with a smile, now in the process of rolling a joint. Bobby shook his head and smiled slightly.
"Is it weird in mum's room?" asked Jack.
Bobby nodded and threw his head back.
"Too weird" he said "She never changed a thing"
He turned his attention to Jeremiah who now stood in the doorway.
"What?" he asked, slightly harsher than he had intended
Jerry shook his head.
"Nuthin" he said "Just glad to see ma brothers, glad to have you's home"
Bobby nodded in acknowledgement
"Glad to see you to"
Jerry knew he wouldn't get a bigger response.
"I was thinking of headin' down to the store, getting a turkey or summin'. Figure we should have a thanksgiving, lets at least pretend we're a normal family, Ma would'a liked that" he said. Bobby looked at him
"Sounds good" was all he said. Angel appeared behind Jerry, dressed to go out. Bobby looked him up and down and laughed.
"And where are you going?" he asked with a slight smile, as he already knew the answer. Angel sighed and lowered his head.
"Y'all its getting a bit heavy in here…a was just gonna head out for a bit of air-" Angel was cut off by Bobby
"Yeah right" he scoffed " Miss La Vida Loca got a new boyfriend now. She's got someone's hard dick in her right now, she's screamin somebody else's name!" Jerry and Jack had joined in with laughter and Angels futile attempts at denial fell on deaf ears and he stomped of down the stairs.
Bobby, Jack and Jerry smirked at each other before Bobby's face turned serious.
"We gotta talk to Ellie" he said. Jerry and Jacks smiles disappeared abruptly. Jerry coughed awkwardly and shifted slightly.
"Yeah I, uh saw Green at the door, take it you's know now?" he said. Bobby turned to eye Jerry from where he was sitting.
"You knew?" anger was thick in his voice. "Jerry you knew and u didn't fucking think to tell us?" Bobby stood up. Jack could see the familiar clenching of Bobby's jaw, the tensing in his arms, causing the muscles in his arms to pop. Jack slid his guitar off his lap and stood up in front of Bobby.
"Bobby c'mon, now isn't the day to fight. Lets go talk to her" he said calmly. Jack could usually get through to Bobby and this was thankfully one of those times. Bobby looked at Jack, the pain and worry, tiredness and fear etched through his young face. For 21 Jack certainly carried a lot on his shoulders. Bobby relaxed slightly and let out a steady breath.
"Ok, lets go talk to her"
Bobby, Jack and Jerry hovered outside Ellie's silent room. Neither of them could imagine what Ellie had seen, how she was feeling. Bobby took a breath and reached for the handle, muttering 'Pussies' under his breath. The sight shocked them. Elle was huddled in the furthest corner for the door, eyes closed, pale and shaking. Bobby rushed forward.
"Ellie! U gotta breathe Ellie, breathe for me!" he cried. He took Elle in his arms and held her close hoping his warmth would evoke a reaction. It usually worked, but not this time. Jack and Jerry crouched near them keeping their distance to give Elle room to breath. Jack was scared, he hadn't seen her panic attacks in at least a year. This one was bad. She was struggling to breathe, her muscles tense. Bobby hugged her rigid frame.
"Ellie c'mon breathe with me, breathe in…and out" Bobby exaggerated paced breathing, trying to get Elle to copy, but she was to far in her panic to notice. Jerry took one last look at her and bolted for the bathroom. Jack could hear the sound of running water under Bobby's talking. They heard Jeremiah shout. Bobby looked down at Elle,
"Ellie please! Breathe!" he shouted at her as he picked her up. He rushed to the bathroom, carrying Elle, where Jerry had run a cold bath. Bobby muttered an apology before dumping Elle into the cold water. She lay for a few seconds before exploding in a flurry of coughing, inhaling and thrashing. Jack leaped into the bath and wrapped his arms around a struggling Elle.
"Shhhhh" he soothed. Elle's wide eyes darted between Bobby and Jeremiah, and both remained silent as she took in where she was and who was around her. She stopped struggling in the water and the room remained silent as her breathing slowly returned to normal. Jack kept his arms wrapped protectively around Elle, ignoring the harsh nip of the cold water. Jerry, noting that Jack and Elle were tingeing blue, reached behind Jack and slowly turned on the hot tap. Bobby crouched at the end of the bath and waited calmly for Elle to look at him. Jeremiah watched his brother. He had always admired Bobby's patience and gentler nature when it came to dealing with Elle, no matter the situation.
"Ellie, look at me" Bobby's voice broke the silence. Elle was staring into the water, watching it lap up the side of the bath. She lifter her gaze to meet Bobby's. The hollowness in her eyes sent a shiver down his spine. Jack cast a glance at Jerry and smiled as he acknowledged the raise in temperature of the water.
"Ellie, you know you can tell me anything right?" asked Bobby. Everyone in the room knew the answer. Elle continued to stare at Bobby, before slowly nodding and casting her gaze back to the water. Bobby remained calm and shifted to a more comfortable position.
"Ellie, please, look at me" Elle remained staring at the water. Bobby reached over and grabbed her hand.
"Elle" She looked at her hand in his, tears welled up in her eyes. "Please tell me what happened" he continued.
Elle looked at him. She was still pale but the bluish tinge had gone from her lips. Tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill over.
"I'm sorry Bobby…I…I couldn't save Ma. I tried, I swear I tried! I just…I couldn't do it I'm so so so sorry I…" her voice slowly lowered till she was silent. Bobby noted the death like grip she had on his hand, but refused to move, ignoring the numbness in his thighs.
"Ellie, there was nothing you could have done, we don't blame you, we never will, just please, help us understand" his voice was tight, his eyes fierce, but his face worried. Jack looked at his brothers. This scene had played out so many times in the past, the same urgency in Bobby, the fear in Jerry, the only one missing was Angel. Jack felt slightly disappointed that Angel wasn't there, but nothing could be done.
Elle choked on her words, and Jack held her small frame closer. Both were now soaked through, but the water was at a pleasant temperature now. Elle gripped Bobby's hand tighter.
"I'm sorry…
"Ellie hurry up love, I want to get a good turkey before their all gone" Evelyn called up the stairs while fastening the belt of her cream coat.
There was a grunt from upstairs that answered her. Evelyn smiled. Her daughter Elle was certainly a character. 'Exactly like her brothers' she thought fondly. Elle came flying down the stair.
"Ok I'm ready" she said, out of breath from her dash. Evelyn laughed and grabbed her car keys.
"Come on then" she smiled, and mother and daughter left the Mercer house. The drive to the store was filled with Elle's excited chatter about who would make it home for Thanksgiving, school and just general nonsense, broken every so often by a well timed laugh or question from Evelyn. They pulled up outside the store. Elle leaped from the car and rushed inside. Evelyn left the car slower, and had a look around before heading inside.
Elle wandered around the inside of the shop around the turkey section, wondering what one would be big enough if all her brothers came home for Thanksgiving. It had been a couple of years since she had seen her big brother Bobby properly. He had dropped by a few times when she had really need help but that was it. Angel stopped by every so often, when he wasn't at the Marines, same with Jack when he could get free time from his band. Jeremiah was round almost every second day, but he did only live a few blocks away.
She cast a glance towards the front of the shop. Her beloved mother had caught a local kid stealing, and was getting the clerk to feign calling the police. He wouldn't really of course but it was a good scare.
"You know, he's a good kid" she heard her mother say "he just needs an older brother" Elle smiled at that line, she could imagine how that kid would turn out with her brothers. She smelt Evelyn's perfume and knew she was beside her.
"Ooh these look good" Evelyn said. Elle nodded at her mother, taking in her snowy hair and laughing eyes.
"That one" said Elle, pointing at a rather large turkey further along the row. Her mother moved up to it, pressing her fingers against the packaging.
"Oh yes, nice and plump" she laughed. Elle smiled, the turkey would also be big enough incase everyone came home this year, oh she hoped they would.
She heard the bell of the shops door ring but didn't pay attention until Evelyn grabbed her sleeve and pulled her in behind a stack of shelves. Elle looked at the fear on her mothers face, confused, and cast a look at the front of the shop. She held her breath as she saw two masked men pointing a shotgun at the clerk. Elle's heart raced. 'SHIT!' she thought, she knew she had to keep quiet, make them think there were no witnesses. Elle looked at her mother, the fear in her eyes, yet at the same time trying to appear un-afraid in front of Elle. They heard the ping of the register, the blast of the shotgun, the clerks body bouncing off the counter and hitting the floor. Evelyn let out a barely audible whimper. Elle reached out and clasped her mothers hand, holding it tightly. She smiled strongly at her mother, before looking back at the counter, sure the men would have left. Her heart stopped, they were making their way towards where her and her mother. Elle's heart leaped to her mouth and she froze, she didn't know what to do. Without warning, her mother stood up and faced the masked men. Elle reached up to pull her mother back down but she moved away. Elle panicked. Her body froze, she couldn't move and she watched in horror as her mother confronted two armed men.
The two men pointed at her and muttered something, Elle heard the name Sean, but her frozen state caused no reaction.
"May god forgive you" said Evelyn. Elle looked up to see her mother staring angrily at the men, before the blast of the gun sent her falling to the ground. Elle's heart stopped. The masked men stepped in front of her, she was sure she was next, but the activation of the shop alarm caused them to flee the shop. Elle sat in horror. Her beloved mother, the most angelic person in the world lay in front of her, life had left her. Elle reached across and grasped her mothers hand. She couldn't believe it. 'This isn't happening' she thought. Elle held her mothers hand, the alarm oblivious to her. She could see the blood creeping out from under her body. The tears started, and the shaking but she refused to let go, even when the police and paramedics arrived, she refused. All the way to the hospital she wouldn't let her mother go, she couldn't.
Elle looked down at her hand, she saw Evelyn's pale hand, her rings and blood. Elle gasped and rapidly withdrew her hand. Bobby was surprised at her reaction, and hurt passed along his face. Tears flowed down Elle's face and she sobbed quietly into Jacks arms. Bobby sat in an angry silence. Jerry was leaning against the sink, shaking. He tried to speak, but nothing came out. He raised his hands apologetically and left the room. The front door slamming was heard, and the engine from Jerry's car. Bobby knew he had left. He looked at Jack, pale and shaking in the tub, trying his best to comfort a broken Elle. Bobby felt rage bubbling beneath the surface, he was so angry and hurt, but the sight of his two younger siblings sitting in the bath nearly broke his tough heart. He stood up and pulled the plug in the bath, gabbed a towel from the rail and climbed into the tub, wrapping his arms and towel around his brother and sister. This gave Jack the security he needed to finally give in and cry. Bobby sat, holding them while they sobbed, and silently gave into grief.