Title: Personal Chaos
Characters/Pairings: One-sided Male!Belarus/Fem!Russia, One-sided Fem!Lithuania/Male!Belarus, Male!Ukraine/Various Females, Fem!America, Fem!Canada, Fem!Italy, Fem!Romano, Fem!France, Allusions to Other Characters
Genre: Humor, Supernatural, Adventure, Mystery, Fantasy, Angst... Pretty much everything. I try not to get too dark though.
Ratings/Warnings: M for swearing, sexual innuendo, one-sided incestuous urges, references to off-screen masturbation and off-screen smut.
Summary: Anya never pictured her life turning out like this. In addition to working a stressful job, she has to deal with her college rival setting her sights on her awkward older brother while fighting off the advances of her creepy younger brother.
Disclaimer: Hetalia and Nyotalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya, though some of the characters don't have official genderbends yet.
Notes: There will be no smut in this fic. I can't stress enough that there will be references to it - oh, how there will be references to it - but there will not be any smut scenes in this story. The Genderbends haven't really gotten much development beyond that one comic in Volume 4 and a few pictures and notes on Himaruya's blog, so I take some creative licensing with the personalities. At the end of every chapter I'll include a note explaining any outside references I make just to cover all my bases, which is where I'll also indicate what I've named the characters that haven't been assigned human names by Himaruya (which for Nyotalia is basically all of them). If you see an inaccuracy please call me out on it; I hate being ill-informed. Reviews are encouraged and anonymous views are enabled.
And I apologize in advance for how choppy this chapter is.
Personal Chaos
Chapter I
Anya yawned, yanking her bag along on the ground behind her. While most work days were difficult for her, the worst was when her boss got into a frenzy about his department not moving at the same speed as the competition. Bullshit, Anya thought to herself, practically dragging her limbs, If anything, we were moving faster. At this rate someone is going to drop dead.
After making her way through the security maze that was the entrance to her apartment complex, she stepped into the elevator and pressed the round "4" button as the doors closed. Sleep, Anya groaned to herself, Must sleep. No energy.
The door was locked, which meant that her older brother hadn't come home from work yet. Anya sighed and dug around in her purse for her key, her grogginess making it difficult to coordinate getting the key into the lock itself. When she finally got the door open, she found herself instantly alert – and annoyed – due to the sight she was greeted to.
Beer cans lay abandoned on the ground near the trash, while a pile of pots and sat in the sink. Anya easily made out the form of her younger brother sprawled out on the couch in only his boxers.
"Nikolai, wake up and clean up your shit!" Anya shouted, throwing her keys directly at his head.
Groaning, Nikolai peered out from behind the pillow he had face-planted on, and surveyed the damage, "I'll do it later."
"You always say that, but Dmitri or I are always the ones who end up actually cleaning it all up," Anya huffed, and proceeded to drag him off the couch and onto the floor.
"Ow! Fine!" Nikolai snapped, dragged himself to his feet, and stumbled over to the kitchen. Anya sighed, and allowed herself to relax just as Nikolai turned on the stereo.
"TURN IT OFF!" Anya yelled. Nikolai motioned at his ear and shrugged before walking over to pick up his beer cans.
Anya stomped over and yanked the chord of the stereo out of the wall. She turned to glare at Nikolai, who was staring at her calmly from the kitchen. Normally, Anya considered herself dignified in her normal demeanor, but any form of grace or positivity was instantly lost when dealing with her annoying brat of a brother.
"I told you to stop playing it that loud! We'll get written up for noise complaints!" Anya yelled. Nikolai stared at her blankly and Anya felt herself grow even tenser, "Damn it Nikolai! Why can't you just-"
Anya choked on her words as Nikolai walked up to her and stood much too close for comfort. The suddenness of his response and her rising fatigue from work - and subsequent outburst - kept her from moving, almost as if she was rooted to the spot.
Nikolai leaned over and Anya felt herself flinch when his bare chest brushed up against her as he leaned down. "You are so fucking hot when you're angry," he whispered in her ear, his warm breath sending a deathening chill up her spine.
Said chill was apparently the precursor for her adrenaline kicking in, and she used the opportunity to knee Nikolai right in the groin.
"Fuck!" Nikolai clutched the injured area and collapsed on the ground while Anya regained her composure.
"Cut out that sick shit and just clean up this mess," She said, eying him warily. Nikolai was about to reply, but he was interrupted when the door opened and a young man with similar features walked in carrying two large grocery bags.
"Hey you guys. I hope you're hungry! The guy at the Deli convinced me to get this huge sausage!"
"Isn't the one you've got in your pants enough, Dmitri?" Nikolai retorted, now recovered enough to sit up.
Dmitri's face flushed scarlet, a sight that Anya was all-too-familiar with, and Nikolai smirked. Their brother was well known for being rather gifted downstairs… well, cursed seemed to be the better word to describe it. Dmitri was never the subject of envy from Nikolai or any of their male friends simply because it was comical in size and no sane woman would dare be interested in hooking up with him. That, and he seemed to spend half his paycheck on buying new pants after accidentally splitting them open.
Between having been hit on by her younger brother and forced to picture her older brother's 'huge sausage,' Anya was not having the greatest afternoon. "Please tell me you bought more vodka," she groaned as he set down the bags.
Dmitri let out a hesitant smile before digging in the bag and taking out a large clear bottle. "You know I don't like you drinking, but after that I won't stand in your way as long as you let me have some."
"Deal," Anya said, grabbing the neck then taking a swig. In the corner of her eye, she noticed Nikolai slowly stand up and collect his iPod and a couple other electronics from the couch. Dmitri came back into the room after unloading the groceries and she handed him the bottle.
"Oh, by the way Nikolai, I got some more hand lotion and put it in the bathroom like you asked. Your hands must be really chapped man, I keep having to buy the largest size they have every week."
"Erm, yeah, dry hands," Nikolai replied blankly. He held up the camera and took a quick picture of Anya before she could block his view and rushed into the bathroom.
"You fucking pervert!" Anya yelled after him, hearing the bathroom lock click into place.
Dmitri handed back the bottle, sighing, "He is pretty strange isn't he? We really need to get him out of the apartment one of these days."
"You do it. As far as I know he doesn't want to jump your bones." –and get skewered. Anya finished, cringing and taking an extra gulp for good measure.
"Slow down, you're not in college anymore," Dmitri huffed, grabbing the bottle out of her hands and pushing the cork back in. Anya glared, her eyes following him as he put the bottle on the shelf she couldn't reach, no matter how high a stool she stood on.
"The sink certainly looks like it did when I was in college," Anya deadpanned, once again staring at the mess Nikolai failed to clean up.
"That reminds me, I wanted to tell you something," Dmitri responded, looking more nervous than usual, "You remember that girl Amelia from your senior year?"
"You mean that burger-scarfing bitch? What about her?" Anya rubbed her temples, feeling a migraine coming on.
"Well, she's working at my office now," Dmirti blurted out, causing Anya to accidentally flick herself in the eye.
"Are you kidding me? Did she say anything to you?"
"Well…" Dmitri shrugged, glancing down. Anya kept her eyes trained on his face, knowing that if she looked down she's only be haunted by the sight of his crotch doing its best to escape from his khakis. "Let's just say Nikolai wasn't the only one today who…"
"Friendly as always I see," Anya said, now training her eyes on the cabinet where the vodka was hidden and re-evaluating whether it was really impossible for her to reach it.
"Yeah, pretty much," Dmitri mumbled, his face beet red.
"Anything else you want to dump on me before I go to bed?"
"Nope. That's it."
"Good." Anya said, heading towards the bathroom to get her Tylenol PM before remembering what Nikolai was doing in there. Nauseous, she stumbled into her room and collapsed on her bed, letting an uneasy sleep seize her entire body.
As far as weird days go, Anya would reason later, that afternoon didn't even rank in the top ten. No, if there was anything her family could excel it, it was creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.
She could have attitude with her brothers when she needed to, but the truth was that Anya wasn't particularly gung-ho when it came to confrontation. Even her own rivalries back in college were fairly subdued.
In fact, while growing up, it seemed like her brothers were the ones who were normally defending her.
"Yeah you better run!" Nikolai screamed, puffing out his little chest at the middle school girls as they helped their friend walk on her injured leg away from the scene.
"Don't make it sound like you hit her Niko," Anya gulped, trying to suppress the urge to cry, "She tripped when she was running away and skinned her knee."
"She deserved it though." Dmitri reasoned, standing a bit taller than his siblings. He was at the awkward age when he was just hitting his growth spurt, and the rest of his body seemed too small for its frame.
"Stop crying Anya, they're gone now okay?" Nikolai pouted.
Anya hadn't realized she had been crying. She had done her best to keep it bottled up, as it would've only encouraged the girls who had been harassing her. "Sorry Niko. Junior High school girls are like that though. I'm going to have to learn to be braver eventually."
"You shouldn't have to deal with that crap though," Dmitri mused.
"That's right!" Nikolai proclaimed, grabbing Anya's hand and putting on his most confident expression, "When I get bigger like Dmitri I'll protect you from all those girls and then I'll marry you so you'll never have to be alone again."
Anya snorted, and Dmitri patted Nikolai on the head, "I'll always be taller than you squirt. And you can't marry Anya, she's your sister."
The nine-year-old looked indignant, "Just because you're useless doesn't mean I should be," Dmitri feigned shock while Anya continued to try and keep herself from giggling, "You'll see! One day I'll be big and strong and everyone will fear me."
"Okay then, I'm sure you will be," Anya said, patting Nikolai on the head and smiling.
"Stop petting me. I'm not a baby," Nikolai whined, puffing out his cheeks.
It had all seemed too innocent and easy back then, even though their parents were always off working. Most of the time, Dmitri would be scraping something together for his siblings, with Nikolai complaining that he could do a much better job. Anya would point out that he couldn't reach the stove, and her brother would glare and tell her to give him a boost, just before Dmitri would bring their food over and Nikolai would begin shoveling it down, all hostilities forgotten.
Of course, all things must come to an end, and before Anya knew it she was growing up. She remembered how awkward it was when she had to go down to breakfast and ask Dmitri to go to the mall with her to buy training bras, as their mother was far too busy.
As high school finished up for the two of them, Dmitri had managed to fill out. While he was still as socially inept as he has always been, Anya found herself having to listen to her friends' wildly inappropriate fantasies about him. She remembered throwing a fit after one of them came into class one day barely able to walk after spending an evening out with him, and pretty soon it was a normal occurrence to see some girl hunched over in pain during one of their classes.
Anya couldn't figure out what was going on, but knew that somehow these girls were getting injured while with her brother, and had visions of Dmitri taking his dates out to do drugs or engage in some other kind of dangerous activity.
"What are you doing to those girls?" Anya had asked one morning, causing Dmitri to choke on his oatmeal.
"What- girls?" Dmitri sputtered.
"Don't play dumb with me," Anya said, crossing her arms, "Every time you go out with any of the girls our age they come into school the next day and they look like they're in pain."
"You dog," Nikolai smirked, nudging Dmitri, "I told you you'd hurt them with that thing, but they must be gluttons for punishment if they keep on coming."
"What? Are you hitting them?" Anya yelled as Dmitri turned read and looked down. Nikolai snickered and shook his head.
"He's hitting it in a different sense of the word," Nikolai cackled. Anya looked at him blankly and Nikolai eyed his sister with contempt, "Seriously, Anya?"
"Nikolai please," Dmitri choked, his face getting even redder.
"Oh sod off Dmitri. We share a bedroom. I've seen you enough to know it's true," Nikolai retorted, "You're having sex with them are you're too-"
"That's enough Nikolai!" Dmitri shouted, starting to look annoyed.
Anya felt her face turn as red as Dmitri's as the realization set in, "Oh, I see."
The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, and it became an unspoken rule never to speak about Dmitri's relations with girls.
Of course, that was nowhere near as awkward as what happened with Nikolai.
At this point, Anya and Dmitri were off at college, and they were just returning home for the winter holidays. Anya's roommate and best friend, Kamilė, also had a family of workaholics, and found out a few weeks previously that they would be out of the country until New Year's on business. Anya had immediately invited her for the holidays, looking forward to having someone female to talk to besides her mother, who would likely be drunk on eggnog before everyone finished going through their Christmas stockings.
At this point, Anya hadn't seen Nikolai in a year. When she and Dmitri had returned home for the summer, he had already gone away to work in another state for the season. Other means of communication weren't much use, as he found social networking sites like MySpace a waste of time and never answered his cell. Dmitri had gone to see him before heading off to his school in September, and he had told her over the phone later that Nikolai had changed a lot since that last Christmas.
Dmitri hadn't been lying. When Nikolai had answered the door it took a few second before Anya realized it was him. He had finished his growth spurt and was now about half a foot taller than her. His face, which had previously been expressive to a fault, now looked like a blank slate, and his eyes seemed to look right through her.
Shivering, Anya let out a friendly greeting and introduced Kamilė.
"It's nice to meet you," Kamilė said, reaching out her hand. The two girls were caught off-guard when Nikolai suddenly pulled Anya into a hug.
"I missed you," Nikolai mumbled, before letting go, waving to Kamilė, and disappearing inside.
"Your brother…" Kamilė said as they took off their jackets in the doorway.
"I'm sorry. He's a bit-"
"Adorable!" Kamilė gushed. Anya stared. "He's so cool and laid back but he's such a sweetheart. Do you know if he has a girlfriend?"
"What is wrong with you?" Anya said, too stunned to elaborate.
Kamilė was by no means the type of girl to start gushing over a guy, which is part of the reason Anya became friends with her. She wasn't the most attractive girl in the world, but she was smart, hard-working, and incredibly loyal.
Pretty much the opposite of Nikolai, as it turned out.
After her mother got drunk that evening, it came to light that the work Nikolai had been doing the previous summer was a disciplinary camp for troubled youth. Anya avoided eye-contact with everyone as she looked down at her potatoes, but Dmitri managed to keep more positive conversation alive with tales about his classes and school in general.
Of course, Kamilė was eying Nikolai throughout the entire meal, the revelations about him apparently only served to make the entire situation more enticing. When the meal was over, Anya got up quickly and left the room, heading towards the restroom.
Anya scrubbed her face and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked exhausted as always. Damnit, you guys, Anya thought to herself, fuming at her family, Why does every visit have to be so damn stressful?
Anya heard a knock at the door, "I'm almost done!" She shouted, wrinkling her nose. Her mother had probably reached her limit and rushed to the bathroom to vomit.
To her surprise, she opened the door to see Nikolai standing outside the door, eyes downcast. "Hey Anya, are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine," Anya said nervously, not entirely sure how to act around her brother anymore.
"Are you sure?" Nikolai gulped, "I was afraid that after all the stuff mom was saying in there about me, you were-"
"Oh please," Anya interrupted, feigning confidence and rolling her eyes, "If I should be concerned about anything, it's that woman's drinking. We need to schedule an intervention or something."
"You mean, you don't hate me now?" Nikolai said, now facing his sister with big, hopeful eyes.
"Of course not!" Anya answered, now genuinely more relaxed and a bit surprised.
Nikolai looked relieved, "I'm so happy. You were always the only one who- and the idea that you might hate me was just-"
"You know I love you, you idiot." Anya said.
She quickly found herself wrapped up in an embrace, and Anya found herself unable to remember the last time she had hugged anyone, much less anyone in her family. It felt kinda nice, like they were a normal, loving family.
Unfortunately for her, that comforting feeling didn't last long.
Nikolai lifted his head and stared at her for split second before pulling her into a kiss. Anya was too stunned to move, and it quickly registered that this was by no stretch of the imagination an innocent kiss between family members.
The two broke apart, and Anya heard Nikolai whisper, "I love you too," before turning to go back into the kitchen to help their father clean up.
Anya looked up at the ceiling and groaned. Shit.
She did her best to avoid Nikolai the rest of the trip, but found herself forced to interact with him regardless. Luckily, his behavior seemed pretty normal, at least normal for the new, tougher persona he seemed to have adapted. He also seemed completely oblivious to Kamilė, who was making every effort to flirt with him.
Every once in a while though, Anya would catch Nikolai staring at her a bit long before looking away, and knew she hadn't imagined what had happened. He seemed to respect her boundaries though, and didn't do anything like sneak into her room or steal any of her clothes or belongings (she checked) so she didn't press the issue, and hoped that if she ignored it, it would eventually go away.
Oh how naïve she had been.
Thank god that's over, Anya inwardly groaned. She waved to Nikolai and her parents as she and Kamilė boarded the train that would take them back to school.
"I hate that we promised Chun-Yan that we would help her with that on-campus festival," Kamilė whined as they took their seats, "I wanted to spend more time with your cute brother."
"Who are you and what have you done with Kamilė?" Anya snapped, eying her friend with a mixture of worry and contempt, "Seriously, I've never seen you act like this. Hell, we make fun of girls that act like this."
"More like we make observations. We're pretty bad at coming up with insults," Kamilė responded, raising an eyebrow, "You're usually not this short-tempered either."
Anya sighed, "I know. My family seems to have that kind of effect. Hopefully the toxins will be out of our systems soon."
"Toxins will be out of our systems? Since when do you come up with lines like that?"
"Since when do you drool over boys?"
"Okay," Kamilė said, raising her hands in defeat, "We were both acting pretty out of character. Let's chalk it up to the awkwardness of being around your family."
"Awkward doesn't even begin to describe it."
"Enjoy the awkwardness while it lasts though," Kamilė said, digging around in her bag, "In a couple of years you'll hardly see your family."
"That's true," Anya reasoned, yawning and making herself comfortable in her seat.
Anya would later refer to that moment as when she had tempted fate.
Stirring, Anya noticed the light in the hallway on and peeked out from the blanket. Someone must have come in and put a spare blanket on her after she had passed out.
"Hey Nikolai, you were in the bathroom for quite a long time! Are you all right?" Anya heard Dmitri ask with no consideration for his sleeping sister.
Well, She thought to herself, at least now I know it must have been Dmitri that came in here.
"Yes, very good," Anya heard Nikolai yawn back, and could practically see the content, sleepy grin on his face, causing her to shiver a bit.
"Aren't you coming?" Anya heard a girl's voice say from what sounded like another room.
"I'll be right there! I'm just getting some protection!" Dmitri yelled back. Anya groaned and put the pillow over her head, wondering if she could smother herself to death.
"Oh goody, I'm sleeping on the couch… again," Anya heard Nikolai sneer, "I'm gonna go get my pillows off my bed, so you better be decent!"
"Don't come in yet!" Anya heard the girl shriek, and involuntarily laughed when she heard a thud that meant Nikolai had ignored her and gone in, and she probably threw something at him.
"Bitch," Anya heard Nikolai mumble on his way past her door and into the living room.
"Sorry about that!" Dmitri yelled to the girl as he bounded back to his room.
Anya thanked every deity ever worshiped by man when she felt herself grow sleepy once more. She was so tired, and was going to be up early tomorrow to appease her insane boss, which meant she needed all the sleep she could get.
She rolled over and glanced at the clock before passing out completely. Her final thoughts before entering her newest dream were, it's already midnight?
Fuck my life.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading this far! I'll try to get a new chapter up very soon, but my priority at the moment is my other fic, World Academy W Occult Association. (Be sure to check that one out!) And thank you to my lovely beta Icelilly.
Also for the names. Not all the characters have assigned names so I had to look up common names for each language or country or use popular fanon names. Fem!Russia is Anya Braginskaya, Male!Belarus is Nikolai Braginskaya, Male!Ukraine is Dmitri Braginskaya, Fem!Lithuania is Kamilė Laurinaitis, Fem!America is Amelia Jones, and Fem!China is Wang Chun-Yan.