Title: And that was apparently that (Or the one where Dean has issues and Castiel's rich family kinda suck)
Summary: Written for pickledpegg for this prompt on Everlasting Birthday Challenge:
"CollegeAU - Forced to share a dorm, they eventually became best friends despite being from two very different worlds (author can pick why they are so different.) Now a matter of months away from graduating, Dean has no clue what he is going to do afterward whereas Cas has a plan, it even includes a future with his long-term boyfriend Crowley (whom Dean has never liked - why is this dear Author?)Dean doesn't know how to handle the possibility of being left behind so pushes Cas away, until something happens (Author you have free reign on the something) which leaves Cas in the same boat as Dean future wise, but together they plan a new one. (despite the long-term relationship status I'd prefer to not read/see sex scenes of a Cas/Crowley flavour, I'm happy with Cas always having had deeper feelings than friendship for Dean but not acting on it as he wasn't sure it would be reciprocated even though Dean is openly bisexual.)"
Sorry if it wasn't what you were wanting, or if it's not so great. I tried my best given that I'd allowed myself about 5 days to write this... Still, happy birthday, darling, and hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Mild swearing, mentions of homophobia by relations. Nothing past kissing, but hinted. Angsty bits and fluff at the end!
Dean Winchester was not impressed. When he thought about college dorms, he thought about late parties and the different types of fun he could get up to. Luckily for him, he'd been accepted and was on a course to do with Sports Studies. Back in Lawrence, the good weather meant that he'd been able to excel in sports as he'd had a lot of time outdoors. His younger brother, Sam, had received the same chances, and yet somehow the little nerd was set on Law. It made Dean chuckle briefly before he remembered that he was meant to be annoyed.
The thing about Lawrence was that there was a decent nightlife. He'd never been bored in that place, and his lifestyle had been fairly unlimited. He could go anywhere, do anything. And he had. He'd even gone for a 6 week road trip after finishing high school, simply enjoying the freedom to travel where he wanted before he had to settle down and worked hard. And he would work hard – he'd saved up as much as he could for this course, and he'd needed to take out a loan so that his dad, John, would only have to help out a little. It was practically set that Sam would get a free ride – that kid was a genius.
Dean growled as he realised, once again, that he'd gone off track. 'Focus, damnit!' he thought to himself, glaring across the room at the source of his anger. He'd had to scrape by to make it in, but his dorm partner was very different.
Castiel Dmitri Novak was, put quite simply, a rich kid. He hadn't spoken to Castiel yet (and who the hell had a name like 'Castiel'?), but he could bet on the fact that he would be egotistical. Dean had had the displeasure of meeting Castiel's brother, Zachariah, already. The guy was a dick. He was full of himself, acting all 'holier-than-thou-so-deal-with-it-scum' towards anyone who'd needed to borrow money. And that was something that made his blood boil. So, Dean decided as he packed his things into his drawers, he wouldn't show his usual friendliness to this one either.
Castiel sighed as he finished unpacking his clothes and hung them neatly in his cupboard. He could practically feel the glare of his dorm partner against his back, and he hadn't even said anything, yet. But then, as the youngest of the Novak children, he'd grown used to being ignored and tried desperately to hide in the background. The only person he'd met so far who didn't care about his heritage was his boyfriend, Crowley. Well, technically his name was Anthony Crowley, but he went by his surname for some reason. He felt that it made him seem more imposing. Most people who bothered to get to know Castiel would probably question why they were together. They were almost total polar opposites, after all. Whilst Castiel was quiet, reserved and formal, Crowley was outgoing and confident, bordering arrogance. They made a strange pair, but people didn't know the reason why they worked.
Whereas most people either pampered Castiel or shunned him because of his family's wealth, Crowley was equally well off and so didn't give a damn about money. And the other reason was that he'd been the only guy to pay the youngest Novak any attention, attraction-wise. A conflict within the family was that Castiel was gay. Although some of his siblings understood, others... weren't so understanding. That included Zachariah, who was at the same college studying for business. Luckily Zachariah was in his final year. Equally luckily, Castiel had one of his understanding siblings, Gabriel, living nearby. Gabriel had dropped out of the family after coming out himself a while back, and now he owned a bakery and confectionary with his life partner, Daniel Loki. It looked as if Castiel would need to call on Gabriel a lot more than usual, if he was going to cope with college.
Looking over, he caught a glimpse of his dorm partner. Dean Winchester was tanned, with sandy blonde hair and dark green eyes. Although only an inch or so taller than Castiel, he held himself in a similar way to Crowley – a way that made him appear to be taller. Deciding to attempt conversation, he cleared his throat before speaking. "Where are you from? You're far too tanned to be from one of the upper states." He commented, his voice surprisingly deep considering his slight frame.
Dean glared, giving Castiel the once-over. "What's it matter to you?" he asked coldly, turning away to pack some of his DVDs into a drawer. After a small pause, he sighed. "Lawrence, Kansas."
Castiel nodded slightly, feeling even more alienated by the other boy's cold response. It became clear that Dean was unwilling to ask, and so Castiel spoke up again quietly. "I'm from Montana."
"I know. Bit hard not to, with your family." Dean responded, thinking desperately 'Please just shut up!' It was as if his thoughts were overheard by Castiel, because he simply flinched slightly at the icy tone, before looking away and getting on with his unpacking.
And that was apparently that.
That had been about three and a half years ago, and a lot had changed. The cold reaction from Dean had lasted up until part way through the final term in year one of college. The incident hadn't been overly pleasant on Dean's part, but it helped him to realise that Castiel wasn't as bad as he'd thought.
Dean had just gone through another lesson of English Literature. Why he had to take that when he was going into sport, he had no idea, but there it was. Problem was, Dean had a case of dyslexia, and so could struggle to read and write correctly at times. It wasn't that Dean was stupid – he had a pretty decent IQ, actually – but his struggles with reading and writing often made him appear so. He tried his hardest, but sometimes he took a lot longer. The jeering of some of the others within his group didn't help. And his teacher, some professor called Reynolds, was useless with help. He wouldn't help Dean to correct his mistakes, instead telling the younger man that he needed to get over his 'silly phase' and focus. Apparently, Professor Reynolds didn't believe in things like dyslexia.
And so, Dean was sitting up late into the night, trying desperately to work out how to spell the words, and what the extract said. Castiel had arrived an hour ago, and had promptly gone to bed as he knew that any response from Dean would be unkind or rude in some way. He didn't want to admit to it, but it hurt every time Dean made some jibe or replied bluntly to an honest attempt to reach out. The youngest Novak had never been particularly outgoing or confident in his abilities, and the comments were starting to make it worse. It didn't help that Crowley and Dean didn't get on in the slightest, either. Still, he lay in bed, listening to Dean quietly cursing until he eventually gave up and went to sleep.
When Dean went back to it all two days later, after ignoring it, he noticed three things. The first was that, once again, Castiel was already gone when he came in. The second and third things weren't expected, though. Sitting down at his desk, he noticed that someone had gone over his essay – a 22-page-long essay at that – and had used a blue pen to write down all of the correct spellings. The third was a CD, sat next to the essay. He'd already guessed that Castiel had gone through the essay and helped him, but that was cemented when he played the CD on his laptop. Castiel's gravelly voice began to slowly read the entire passage out slowly, each word clearly defined. For some reason, Castiel Novak had helped him with his work – even after Dean's horrible behaviour towards him.
Dean had never felt more like a jerk.
So, when Castiel arrived back in the evening, he was shocked to find Dean sitting up, waiting for him. Dean cleared his throat. "Uh, hey... about my behaviour. I'm sorry for being so harsh and stuff. Um." He looked over awkwardly to spot Castiel's expression of shock. Dean chuckled slightly, relaxing. "Yeah, I know. Dean Winchester being nice must be a shock to the system. But... thanks, with the English stuff. It was really kind of you, especially after my attitude towards you. So, yeah..." he finished awkwardly, realising that if he continued he would start rambling. To his surprise, Castiel...smiled. He didn't think he'd seen the other man smile before, and it was a shame – he looked his age, not about 30.
"You're welcome. As I am taking English Literature with Economics, it wasn't too difficult for me to go through your work adequately. I wasn't sure if it was the correct thing to do, however – I didn't know it could possibly be considered as patronising until I had done it."
Formal talk or not, Dean was starting to like the guy.
So here they were, 3 years down the line, and graduation was fast approaching. In fact, in only a few short months the final exams would be done and everyone would be going their separate ways.
Including Castiel.
It was something that Dean had dreaded for a long time now. Whereas he had no idea where he was going to go and what he was going to do, Castiel had it all planned out. He and his boyfriend were going to graduate together, and set up their own business. Crowley would use his degree in Psychology to become a therapist. Castiel would be in charge of advertising and accounting. They were planning on setting up in a city somewhere in Ohio, as it was far enough away from the families, but not too far away to be apart from Gabriel – one thing that Castiel had asked for. To be honest, Dean didn't think much about it all. Crowley had planned most of it, only allowing some decisions by Castiel instead of it being equal. Castiel simply agreed and followed the slightly older boy around like a puppy. The thing that upset Dean the most was that, but there was, of course, another reason.
He and Crowley did not get along at all. In fact, Crowley seemed to see Dean as some sort of threat to him. It may have been to do with the fact that Dean was openly bi. He'd had a number of flings and relationships throughout college, with as many guys as with girls. As soon as they graduated, Dean knew that he would probably never see Castiel again. The youngest Novak obeyed Crowley practically all the time, and the slightly older boy just knew that it would be the same with this particular occasion. Crowley would tell him not to contact Dean, and Castiel would agree and never see him again. And it hurt, especially after his life.
Losing his Mom as a young boy to a house fire had started his hidden insecurity, and it had only grown as more and more people ended up leaving him. His first girlfriend, first boyfriend, family members, all sorts of different people in Dean's life had simply left him alone after a while, and really Dean didn't think he could cope with losing Castiel too. And so dawned his so-called brilliant plan.
He'd leave Castiel before the youngest Novak could leave him.
After all, Castiel had had a pretty good life, apart from the whole 'family taking it badly that he's gay' thing. And he had a long-time boyfriend to rely on. All Dean had was a brother who was away at Stanford, meeting the girl of his dreams. So, before Castiel could leave him like all the others, Dean would break the first bridges.
It started with the loss of the nicknames. Shortly after they had become friends, Dean had started shortening Castiel's name to 'Cas'. In fact, he could remember the first time clearly.
Dean sat staring at the screen in front of him, in a daze. The computer screen stared back – as much as a non-sentient object could stare. The cursor blinked repeatedly at him, taunting him for his lack of ideas. Just as he was about to consider using a baseball bat on the thing, his guardian angel appeared with manna from Eden itself.
"Thanks, Cas! You're a lifesaver, man." Dean all but gasped, gulping down the coffee from The Garden Cafe as if he was dying of thirst. Or, in this case, dying of lack of caffeine in his system. Castiel had smiled, before tilting his head in confusion. Dean noticed, and blinked. "...What?" he asked, puzzled himself.
Castiel frowned slightly. "You called me 'Cas'."
"Yeah, and?"
"My name is Castiel."
"I know, What's the issue? It's only a nickname."
"A... nickname? I do not understand." His head tilted further, and Dean practically choked on the last of his coffee.
"What, you've never had a nickname? Hasn't Tony given you one?" he asked, deliberately using a shortened version of Crowley's first name.
Castiel frowned at the name, but shook his head. "I do not believe so. He calls me either 'Castiel' or 'Novak'."
Dean scowled. "Dude, that sucks. Well, from now on I'm calling you 'Cas' – it's friendlier for one thing." And the name had stuck.
Or it had, up until now.
After making his decision to leave Cas ('Castiel, man, Cas-tiel') first, whenever Dean talked to the other man he always called him by his full name. After a while he found that he couldn't look his friend in the eye – it was painful to see the hurt in his expression. But it had to be done, Dean reasoned. The next thing to go was random drives in his Impala. His 1967 Chevy Impala was one of the few things in his possession that he treasured. The sleek, black beauty was something he couldn't live without, and it had meant a lot to share her with Castiel. They used to just get in and drive if they were both free, and it had been a lot of fun.
Dean almost gave in as he watched his friend begin to sink back into his shell. It had taken until the end of year 2 before he managed to get Castiel to show his personality. The guy was actually really funny when he wanted to be, and was kind about practically everyone. It was a great personality for anyone to have, and Dean had been proud to be the one to uncover it. But here he was, causing Castiel to once again sink into the shadows. It was painful, watching Castiel looking so miserable and knowing that it was his fault. But it had to be done. It just had to, because otherwise he'd never cope.
Anyway, he had Crowley.
Until he didn't.
It was a few weeks until graduation, and the pair barely spoke to each other. It was hurting their shared friends as well. Together, they had befriended a couple of fellow students – Ash, who was doing Psychology, Charles (referred to as 'Chuck') who wanted to become the editor of a newspaper or something in the media, Becky who was studying Art and English Literature, and Jo who was doing Psychology and Sport. They had noticed Dean distancing himself from Castiel, and the destructive force it had on Castiel's behaviour. In fact, Jo and Ash had both yelled at dean about it all, but the eldest Winchester brother had tried to explain it to them. They sort of understood his viewpoint, but they weren't happy about it.
Anyway, Dean had come back one night to find Castiel missing. That in itself wasn't unusual, but what was unusual was that when he woke up in the early hours of the morning, Castiel still wasn't back. When it reached three in the morning, Dean gave up on sleep and decided to find his dorm partner. Pulling on a jacket, jeans and a pair of shoes, he headed out and tried to work out where to start. Something made him think of the park that was on campus, and so he went there, following his gut instincts. What he saw shocked him.
There, sitting on one of the park benches with his head in his hands, was Castiel Novak. Wearing nothing but a t-shirt and jeans – seriously, he was barefoot and all. Normally that would have been fine – they were fast approaching summer and as they were in the Midwest the weather was warm. But it was drizzling, and it had been for the past hour or so. Cas was drenched.
Heading over, he knelt down in front of his dorm partner. "...Castiel?" No response. Beginning to panic, Dean started again. "Castiel? Cas? C'mon, man, talk to me. Cas?" Still nothing. Sighing, he reached up and pulled Castiel's wrists, bringing his hands down – and gasped. Castiel's skin was freezing, and his eyes were unfocused, staring blindly at the ground. He smelt of alcohol, and there were tear tracks down his face. Swearing under his breath, Dean got up, pulling Castiel to his feet afterwards. The youngest Novak simply swayed on his feet, threatening to topple over. Clicking his fingers in front of the other man's face, Dean began to panic as Castiel didn't respond in the slightest. He wrapped an arm around the other man's waist, pulling his arm across his shoulders and using his other hand to hold onto Cas' wrist. Somehow, they made it back to the room.
Dropping Cas carefully onto the nearest bed (that happened to be Dean's), he went to pour a glass of water and to grab a few towels in order to dry them both up. Coming back into the room, he found Cas slumped in on himself, shaking. He dumped a towel on top of the youngest Novak's head, and he jumped at the contact. Dean sat on the floor, a towel wrapped around himself, and looked up. "Cas? Dude, what happened? What's wrong?" he asked gently, feeling a mixture of concern and guilt.
After a pause, Castiel blinked, looking at Dean with a shocked but relieved expression. "You're talking to me." He commented, looking like he was about to cry. Dean's guilt worsened.
"Uh... yeah, I am. I'll go through it all later, but... what happened?" He asked again, avoiding the topic in true Dean Winchester fashion. Castiel's relief faded and was replaced by a form of sorrow. No, Dean thought, looking closer. Not sorrow. Heartbreak. "What's that dick done to you now?" The words shot out of his mouth before he could consider it, voice a menacing growl.
Cas winced, before looking at the floor. "He decided that we just weren't working as a valid couple any more. He felt that I was growing too attached, and he reacted unfavourably when I refused to follow something he told me. We... argued. And then he told me he was leaving." Came the quiet reply.
Dean frowned, placing a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "What was it? What did you refuse? You tell him that you weren't becoming an accountant for him or something?" Castiel shook his head. "Was it him wanting you to sell something?" Another head shake, but this time Cas glanced up at him briefly before looking away. Dean swallowed his nerves, trying not to let his hopes arise. He couldn't take another letdown, but the clues were pointing the same way. "Cas? Was it... was it about me?"
Slowly, Castiel Novak nodded. And Dean Winchester was suddenly the one who looked close to tears. Cas began speaking again, clarifying. "He wished for me to lose contact with you after graduation. Said some... horrible things, about you. You and your standing in society. I told him he was wrong, and I wouldn't lose contact with one of the few people who had ever been a friend to me." There was the guilt again, crushing Dean's heart and making him feel sick. The elder boy knew that he had to own up, now, or else lose Castiel anyway.
"Cas... the reason why I was behaving the way I did. It was harsh, and wrong, and all because I have major trust and insecurity issues. Everyone I've ever cared for has left me, and... I was scared you'd do the same. I was a dick and I know I can't make up for it at all, but I-" He was interrupted by Cas placing a hand over his mouth. The younger boy smiled slightly, shaking his head.
"Dean, you don't need to ask. I forgave you a while ago." He replied quietly, before sighing. "Now... I believe I need both water and a shower. I can already feel the effects of alcohol on my system..."
Dean nodded, offering Cas the glass of water and helping him towards the shower. He needed one himself to warm up, but his friend needed it more. Still, he couldn't help his shivering as he turned to leave the bathroom. A hand on his shoulder stopped him. "Dean... I know that we are friends, and that usually it is considered inappropriate for friends to do such a thing, but I was wondering whether..." He trailed off in uncertainty, seeming to be battling with his confidence. Dean looked back at him, confused. Castiel sighed, before speaking quietly. "I am afraid that I will pass out in the shower. And we both need one..." After a pause, Dean understood what Castiel was implying.
"You... want me to get in with you? To share a shower?" he clarified, head spinning slightly. When Cas bit his lip and nodded in shame, Dean had already made up his mind. He headed over, turning on the shower before tugging at his jeans. Glancing over, he caught sight of Castiel's shocked expression. "Dude, I'm cold and tired, and I feel guilty as hell for not being there for you. I can deal with sharing a shower."
What he didn't say was that, actually, he'd quite like to share one anyway. Whilst Dean had been in various on-and-off relationships, he'd discovered that none of them worked. It had taken him until halfway through year 3 before he'd realised why. Over the years, dislike had changed to friendliness... and Dean had grown a much larger attachment to Castiel which had only increased in size as time went by. It was probably the main reason why he hated Crowley so much, and why he'd reacted so badly to the idea of losing him. He'd gone and fallen in love with his dorm mate and best friend.
Castiel still seemed shocked, but he relaxed and began to get himself undressed. When both were stripped down to their boxers – the shower was really only to warm them both up – they moved under the hot water. Dean placed a gentle arm around Castiel's shoulders, and Castiel in response had placed a hand on Dean's upper left arm. The younger of the two was shaking, grip tightening randomly on Dean's arm – probably enough to leave a mark. After a while, both of them had warmed up nicely, and Castiel was leaning harder against Dean's chest. His usually unruly black hair had flattened out, but Dean could still feel some of it tickling under his chin and against his cheek. Another ten minutes in, and Dean was also beginning to drop off. Carefully, he turned off the shower before grabbing a fresh towel each and wrapping one around his friend. Castiel looked swamped in the large towel, blue eyes cloudy with sleep, and Dean couldn't help but think it looked adorable.
He sat the younger man on the toilet lid whilst he quickly towelled himself dry, pulling on fresh underwear and tracksuit pants behind the shower curtain. Once he was dry and semi-dressed, he headed back over to Cas and began to gently pat him dry, paying special attention to his friend's hair. Leading him back to Castiel's bed, he sat Cas down before realising that his friend was far too tired to manage undressing. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed a pair of boxers and a large t-shirt out of Castiel's drawers, finding a pair of sleep pants afterwards. Pulling the worn shirt onto Cas was the first thing he did, before he clinically removed the younger man's drenched underwear and pulled the new pair on, not looking at anything but his friend's face. It was easier after that to help Cas into his sleep pants and to tack him into bed.
He was about to head to his own bed when he realised that, as he'd sat Cas on it earlier, it was soaked. Sighing, he grabbed a spare blanket and sat on the chair in the room, trying to get comfortable.
"...Dean?"
"Yeah, Cas?" He asked, looking over towards Castiel's bed to see a pair of deep blue eyes staring at him blearily.
"What are you doing over there?"
"Trying to sleep. My bed's, uh, wet."A pause, followed by a hushed voice mumbling something. "Pardon?"
Cas sighed, before speaking up. "I doubt the chair's comfortable. You could... always, uh... you could share my bed." At Dean's expression, his eyes widened. "I'd stay on my side, you don't need to worry..."
Dean thought about it. On the one hand, comfortable bed and a chance to be near the guy he'd had a crush on for a few years. On the other, chance that things could go very wrong, very fast. "Are you sure?" he asked, knowing that he'd base his decision on the response.
"Yes. I'd, probably... I would probably sleep easier as well. I do not wish to be alone right now." Came the embarrassed response. It dawned on Dean then exactly how bad the situation was for his friend. It wasn't just the loss of a partner, it was the loss of his future. Castiel always did well if he had something set out for him. Being suddenly plunged into the deep so close to graduation, not knowing what he'd now do with the rest of his life, had to be terrifying. Mind made up, he headed over to the bed and climbed in, carefully keeping to his side. He turned to face Castiel, though.
"It'll be OK, you know that right? Things will work out just fine for you. I mean, you have your brain, and your parents-"
"No I don't." Came a pained whisper. Dean looked across to see Castiel close to tears again. "The minute I came out to my family, they disinherited me. I have made it through college with my childhood savings. I'd saved up my allowances since I was 8 years old, just in case. I was always cautious. I have enough there to last me for a few more years, but after that I have nothing."
Well, damn. That had to suck. At least his dad had been accepting enough with him. Dean reached over, placing a hand on top of Castiel's. "Well... it ain't much, but you got me. And you have Gabe, right? And Anna? Those two have accepted you. I would say you have Balth as well, but he's a bit of an indecisive dick when he wants to be. And there's always your cousin, over in England. Owns a bookstore in London, doesn't he? What was his name again?"
"Zira. Technically Aziraphale, but he changed it when he turned 18." Came the reply, an underlying hint of mirth in the tone. Aziraphale was well known to Dean. As Castiel's only male cousin, the 30-year-old was a rare books dealer over in the UK, and found good in practically everyone. According to Castiel, however, Zira had an appalling taste in fashion and an addiction to tea.
Dean grinned. "Exactly. You have all of them, and me, and the others in our group. You know they all fawn over you like you were a puppy or something."
"Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"...Thank you."
And with that, they fell asleep.
When they awoke in the morning, the pair had shifted. Rather than being on opposite sides of the bed, Dean was on his back with Castiel half-sprawled over his chest. Cas' arm was lying across Dean's ribs, and he had one foot between Dean's two. His head was resting on Dean's collarbone, with his wild ebony hair more ruffled than usual. Dean was the first to wake, and found himself with an internal struggle. On the one hand, he knew that his friend might panic at the closeness, especially after the break-up yesterday. On the other, he'd never felt do peaceful and content in his life. He was about to decide when he felt Castiel beginning to stir. The younger boy snuggled slightly closer, and Dean was shocked to hear the boy whisper his name. Listening in, he could only hear snatches, but they were enough.
"Dean... you, always... loved you..."
Holy crap. So... apparently the emotions weren't one-sided after all. He could feel a grin stretching his lips, even as Cas began to wake up properly. Cas tensed, before pulling away slightly. "My apologies, Dean, I'm sorry, I-"
Dean simply wrapped an arm tight around Castiel's waist, before dipping his head to kiss the dark-haired man on the forehead. "I love you too, you idiot." He muttered, feeling as Castiel froze at his words before wriggling so that he could see Dean's face.
"You...really?" he asked, a shocked but hopeful expression causing his eyes to shine. Dean nodded. Sat up. Kissed Castiel on the lips gently. Cas gasped slightly, before kissing back.
The pair didn't leave the bed for a good two hours, classes be damned.
3 months after graduation, a new training school and summer camp opened near Lawrence. It was called 'The Winchester-Novak Academy for Sports and Literary Studies'. Although technically it should therefore have been referred to as 'W-NASLS', both owners and students felt that it was a boring name, and so referred to it simply as 'The Jeek Academy'. If asked why, people would say that it was a place where Jocks and Geeks became a united force against stereotypes and high school life. It was a huge success, with Dean as the head of the sports and coach for baseball and football, and Castiel capturing the imagination of their students with his surprisingly emotive and powerful reading of various novels and poems. All of the students thought that Dean and Cas made the best team ever, and practically all of them felt, very strongly, that they were also the cutest couple. Their friends from college had to agree.
It was possibly the closest thing people could get to a happily ever after.
And that was apparently that.
Hope that it was OK!