In fear, love and war
Will you marry me?
A small question. If you really think about it, it's also a very simple one.
Why can't you say it? A 'yes' or a 'no', that's what he asks from you. He's the man of your dreams, the one you love more than anyone in the world. You want to spend your life with him; you want to walk down the aisle and see his face, you want to make children with him, you want him to hold your hand and kiss your lips, you want to grow old by his side.
Then, why can't you say it? You obviously want to.
He's growing impatient, you know- of course, you know it. He has started sweating, and the look of certainty and smugness is lost from his face. He now looks hurt and scared- he thinks you're going to say 'no'. But he doesn't know that you want to say 'yes'.
Come on, say it! Why are you torturing the man you love so much?
Is it a payback? For everything he has done, for the person you thought he was? For the pranks, the teasing, the rudeness? You're not a teacher—you always found him intriguing despite everything. And you know that he meant no harm. You know he was just a silly boy- like all boys are. You trust him; this isn't payback.
Then, what is it? A test? This is it, right? You want to know if he loves and trusts you as much as you do? If in times of war like these, he will… Ahh… That's what it is then: war.
You're scared. You weren't prepared from this when they told you about Hogwarts and witchcraft. Evil was out of the picture. So, you, Lily Evans, a Gryffindor, are scared.
It's a surprise, you know… You were always brave, never afraid of anything. Voldemort and his Death Eaters never scared you. You wanted to fight them; to fight back. To prove that you are no Mudblood, that you deserve to be called a witch as much as they do. But in front of four small words, you are more frightened than you've ever been.
Fine, then. Say 'no'- break his heart.
Break under your fear for his life, for your children; break down from your suppressed need for a normal life. But you should know, you are nothing without James Potter; he's the one who makes you brave and fearless, he's the one you fight for, he's the one who gives you courage when you need it, who stands by your side, who never asks anything and simply holds your hand, who supports you without demanding a single thing from you.
You know the correct answer, now, don't you?
Yes.
For Kimmy (xakemii), a belated birthday present: Happy Birthday, hun:D