/I can't be the glue that keeps this team together!/
The words kept echoing in Roman's mind that night. He'd toss and turn, but sleep wouldn't come.
Surely their Shield persona's and on television performances, where just that. An act. But somewhere along the way their little trio of friends had been falling apart. Slowly and it had crept up on them unexpectantly. Roman found it almost ridiculous how well it fitted with their current storyline. He huffed and turned around again, feeling a tight feeling in his chest as he faced the empty bed in the hotel room. He usually shared with Seth, and Dean would have his own room. He was a more private person than the other two which had never bothered anyone.
After they had gotten the unavoidable script for their presumed break up, they hadn't spoken much among themselves. They'd all been waiting for it anxiously and now it was here, open on the table. They hadn't even really rehearsed the segment, almost as if pretending it wasn't there would make it go away.
When the time came to start their match, Seth had been so fired up. It had made Roman break out of character for a moment and laugh at his friend, the man he had come to hold so dear.
But the pain in his face and the doubt written all over it as he walked away from them, Roman knew it wasn't all an act. His own voice softer then he had intended when he asked the other what he was doing. The answer just made him clench his jaw in disbelief.
Behind the scenes the trio had been inseparable at first. Seth and him had always had a closer bond than with Dean, but the other never seemed to mind and loved to tease the other two with it. It had all started to change when Seth got a girlfriend and Roman himself spiralled a little out of control in his bedroom habits. Seth was around less and suddenly Roman was painfully aware of how close they used to be and how he couldn't act so freely anymore when Seth's girl was around. It was a strange and painful realisation. But neither of them said anything and it created a thin wall that had only grown thicker over the last couple of months. Dean noticed it perhaps even more than them and had to pretend not too. It took it's toll on everyone and when Dean had tried to talk to Roman, the Samoan had just gotten angry with him. He wasn't ready to deal with this. To deal with his feelings, or whatever was going on. The two got into fights over nothing, because Roman would feel on edge and as if Dean was critising him constantly.
Seth, as always lately, would try to get the two to on friendly terms again and to calm them down. Usually it worked on Roman. How could he deny those brown puppy eyes? Yet at other times he couldn't hold it back and it made him even more angry when Seth tried to intervene. Didn't he understand he was the cause of it in the first place?
Roman grunted and turned to look at the ceiling. That wasn't exactly fair. He couldn't blame Seth for the way he felt recently.
Whenever his brain tried to sort out his feelings lately, he tried to shake it off and focus on something else Hence he'd been sleeping around a little too much, he silently confessed to himself. Closing his eyes with a sigh, he was too tired to stop his brain now in the aftermath of that depressing segment.
It rushed over him like a tidal wave suddenly, everything falling into place. It made his mouth go dry and his chest ache. Clenching his fists by his side under the blanket as he realised. He was in love with his best friend.
He'd never had any sexual feelings for a man before and Roman just didn't know how to deal with it all. It made him feel out of control and something he didn't feel very often; frightened. He'd heared friends say before that for every straight person, there was at least someone of the same sex out there they could possibly fall in love with because their chemistry would be so good. He'd always laughed it off and shaken his head. He didn't have anything against gay people, but he'd always considered himself totally straight. He could say another man was handsome and all, but in a sexual way? He frowned at the thoughts running through his head. It felt so strange to him, because with Seth it wasn't even about gender. It was hard to pinpoint his feelings exactly, but with Seth it was just so different. It was just about them and how good the other would make him feel when they'd spend time together. It was just effortless.
Only recently when things had started going sour slowly between them, Roman had started experiencing more feelings of a sexual nature for his best friend. He'd tried to suppress it with drinking and more casual sex, but shamefully would feel himself long for the other who was now further away then ever since they started working together.
Roman's brain just wouldn't stop with the memories and emotions and he punched his pillow half heartedly. Pushing the blankets away, he slowly got dressed and headed out of the hotel room to find the nearest club or café or wherever he could get a drink.
Morning came and with it a dull, throbbing pain in Roman's head. Groaning and clutching the blankets a bit more tight, he tried desperately to fall into dreamless sleep again. No such luck.
As he got over his pain for a second the realised he wasn't alone in his hotelroom bed. It took him a moment before he realised what had happened last night. Bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes, he remembered meeting some punk looking girl. She'd stood out to him because of- her hair. It was two toned just like Seth's. Roman groaned again at the realisation and wished he could just disappear for a while. He'd never been such a mess before and he wasn't really enjoying the ride. Sitting up slightly, he wanted to check if she was still asleep and he could sneak off for a shower. But as he sat up, narrowing his eyes at the light in his hotel room, there was suddenly something that caught his eye and he looks at the little table and seats they always put in your hotel room. For a moment he's confused as he sees the two tone hair. He looks over next to him and sees nearly the same hair there, frowning and trying to think over the drums going off in his head, he looks over to the table again as the figure moves and he's suddenly staring into those deep, brown orbs he knows so well.
It takes Roman completely off guard and he just freezes, staring back at the other and blinking slowly. Suddenly alarm bells go off in his head and he uncomfortably wonders if /he/ has noticed the hair colour of his latest fling.
Seth sighs before he breaks the eye contact and then softly speaks, 'Didn't realise you'd replace me that quick.' He says and gives Roman a weak smile.
Roman just panics on the inside, more than he's ever done, but ever so cool on the outside as he gives Seth another blink before trying to find his words. His voice hoarse from last nights partying as he finally speaks up, 'Man, you just… where did you go?' He hates the way he sounds but he leaves it at that, swallowing awkwardly, not sure if he wants to continue talking with Seth at all at this point. Too dangerous.
Seth gets up and Roman tenses instantly as the other walks a bit closer to the bed. 'I thought we could all do with a break! I was always planning to come back the next day.' He said almost angrily and it takes Roman aback. They just stared at each other for a moment, before some rustling was heard and suddenly a girls voice breaks the silence.
'…hmm.. whass all that noise?' A slender arms drapes itself over Roman's chest as the girl presses her naked body up against him under the sheets and she opens her eyes. Roman's whole body is just a knot of tense muscle know as the first thing she does is stare right up into Seth's face and he looks back and forth between them awkwardly. Seth's face is strained and he presses his lips together into a tight line. The girl, still sleepy, slowly seems to realise something and she, to Roman's surprise lets out a laugh as she rubs her eyes and yawns.
'Oh I get it know' she chuckles as she wakes up more and winks at Seth, who seems confused and a little annoyed at the same time. Roman just stays as quiet as a mouse, trying not to move and hoping nobody will remember he's actually there.
Of course Seth couldn't just stay quiet and he actually asks '..Get what?'
The girl starts dressing herself unashamed and Roman catches Seth looking away awkwardly as she does so.
'You know!' she laughs as she pulls on her dress now and Seth looks back over, crossing his arms over his chest. She has a few piercings in her face and Roman vaguely remembers there being some more. He tries to focus on not moving again as he listens to her speak. 'Why he went for me so relentlessly,' she's still chuckling all the while. 'I was surprised, I mean look at him. I wouldn't have guessed I'm his usual type of girl, right?' she raises her thin eyebrow at Seth and realisation dawns on his handsome face. Roman feels as if a thousand ants are crawling up his body and he still tries his hardest not to move or make a sound. Both the girl and Seth are suddenly looking at him and he just blinks and looks away and let's out an unintelligent 'uhh' sound.
Seth shakes his head and the girl laughs again. She's done getting dressed and leans over to plant a kiss on Roman's head. He just lets it happen and tries not to look at Seth. 'Good luck.' She winks at his team mate before she grabs her shoes and heads out of the hotel room, leaving the two of them there.
This must be the most awkward and uncomfortable situation he's ever been in. Roman vaguely wonders if it'll turn into a funny party story later in life, but he finds it hard to see how it could.
'Uhhhh' he says again without even realising he's opened his mouth.
Seth stares at him some longer before he sits down on the bed and Roman thinks he can see the other man frowning.
'It's true, you know. She's not your type at all.' He tries softly, before turning to look Roman straight in the eyes, warm brown meeting slate grey. Roman swallows hard and looks at his lap for a second before looking back up. It's over. He might as well say it since he figures Seth already knows now. He can't find the strength to play it off as nothing. Not anymore.
'She reminded me of you,' he says in his deep voice, barely above a whisper. He finds it hard to breath for a second and all he wants is to reach out and touch Seth. Give his hair a stroke or his arm a squeeze the way they used to. But he just can't move.
'Rome..' he muttered and Roman saw the emotion in his face. He just couldn't distinguish any of them and it made him scared of what was to come. He didn't want to lose his friend any further than he already had these last months.
Seth looked away, as if it was to hard to speak his mind when looking the other in the eye now. Gritting his teeth before he continues, carefully choosing his words.
'I thought you… I mean you and me, I thought that was it… just friends.'
He stops for a second, but Roman just can't find any words to say. He's not sure if he understands what the other is implying. At the silence Seth squeezes his hands together in his lap before he softly continues.
'Me and Aimee… Roman, I decided to date her because I thought we were never going to go anywhere. But I guess… I see now why things started to get bad between all of us. It's because of her, isn't it?' There was an accusing tone in his voice and Roman frowned at the other when he finally looked at him again.
'Seth, I never knew you felt that way about me,' he said softly. Sure, the two were very close, Roman realised that a long time ago. But never had Seth actually tried to kiss him or anything like that, right? Roman frowned and pained his mind, thinking if he'd missed any blatant signs after all. They got the most touchy with each other during their segments because their energy and enthusiasm was just such raw emotion. And then there where drunk nights out where Seth would lean his head against his or fall asleep against his side on the cab to the hotel. Roman suddenly remembered a lot of drunken moments of himself reaching out for the other at the hips just to get his attention, pushing his hair away from his face and standing behind Seth, the other always leaning back into his chest. He felt uncomfortable and didn't really know how to process all this in his mind. Had it really been that obvious? Had he been the only oblivious one that hadn't realised it was more than friendship all along?
'I wasn't sure, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship,' Seth muttered softly, reaching out then to touch Romans shin lightly from where he was sitting next to him on the bed. Roman felt a shiver run thought his body at the contact and he shifts himself a little. There's a silence and Seth looks at the dark haired one and he lets out a soft laugh at the tension. Roman can't help it and he unfreezes, sharing a laugh with his friend, feeling some of that warmth they had between them before.
'So, now what..' The younger asks kind of sheepishly, raising his eyebrows at Roman.
Without thinking much about it Roman suddenly has an idea and he clears his throat
. Feeling awkward still as it seems everything is different now, but he knows he wants to do this. He needs to try otherwise he'll regret it forever.
'Let me take you out. I mean, just spend the day with me. No phones, no nothing. Just a day.' He hates how there's desperation in his voice, but quickly forgets about it when he sees Seth's surprised, but excited expression. The other is simply beaming and he playfully hits Roman in the leg. 'Alright!' and then he cheekily adds a 'Your treat~'
Roman chuckles and rolls his eyes before shooing the other off the bed. They both try to casually ignore Romans nakedness as he stands up and heads to the bathroom to have a quick shower. They shower together at shows normally, after all but Roman guesses it'll be a bit different from now on.
After a quick shower and some breakfast at the hotel food court the two men are ready to go. Seth is more quiet than usual but Roman can tell the other is excited to do something with him since it's been a long time. It's not back to what it was, but at least the tense anxious feeling that had been growing between them has somewhat disappeared. Roman realised this would just be one day. Like playing pretend, the thought made him shake his head at himself, but it was better than nothing.
Before leaving Seth had made a quick call to what Roman guessed was Aimee. It made him feel weird and guilty in a sense, but he shook it off. It's not like he was planning anything… like that. He just wanted a day without any worries with Seth. He'd made some quick arrangements on his phone himself before they headed out and hailed a cab into town.
Seth quickly snapped out of his silent mood and started guessing where they were going. Roman just laughed at the other's excited puppy behaviour. They were very different in that aspect and Roman wondered if that was part of their chemistry.
'Calm down babe, we'll be there soon.'
It was out before he realised it and his face dropped.
Seth snapped his head around to look at him, but his expression was soft and he offered Roman a small smile. As the other looked out of the window again, Roman took in a sharp breath as he felt Seth's hand rest on his knee lightly.
They used to call each other pet names all the time, before Aimee came into the picture anyway. But now there was suddenly a lot more meaning behind them and it made Roman's chest and head feel equally heavy. Shrugging it off as they reached their destination and Seth nearly exploded out of the cab. Roman laughed again and paid the driver before getting out with him. He'd gotten them tickets to see the local football team play since they both enjoyed watching any kind of sports. Usually they didn't have much time for these things so he knew Seth would enjoy it.
'Aww man! This is great Rome!' the other hugged him around the neck for a split second before he was half jogging over to the entrance and taking a picture of the stadium. Roman followed him along, sticking his hands in his pockets as he tried to suppress a lingering smile.
The game was enjoyable and the home team won. A lot of shouting happened from the duo as the players and manly hugs as they scored. Seth would lean into him in the small stadium seats now and then and Roman whole heartedly welcomed the touches. Only now did he realise how angry and miserable he had felt and acted these last months as his friendship with Seth had been taken away. Just being around the other lifted his mood.
After eating some hotdogs at the match and discussing the outcome with some locals and having some pics taken with wrestling fans they headed out and strolled through the city. Roman sometimes felt a bit awkward, not sure if this was an actual date or not. He'd want Seth to have a good time, but this was new for him. He wouldn't treat Seth he would a girl he'd take on a first date, surely.
When the half blonde spotted an Italian gelato shop he couldn't take his eyes off, Roman took him by the arm lightly to drag him over so they could get some. Seth picked chocolate and pistachio and Roman went with banana and yoghurt flavoured scoops. They ate them while continuing their stroll as the sun started going down. They went in and out of some shops to have a look at things, Seth nearly being an new pair of shoes but deciding against it in the end and Roman just rolling his eyes at him. It was still strange to Roman, this feeling of romance and attraction he felt for his male friend. Spending the day with Seth made him want more of it, but he just wasn't sure how or what exactly to do. So he let it wash over him, Seth taking the lead in most of their actions, exactly how it was in the Shield. Funny, that..
'You hungry yet?' He asked the other as he put a hand on Seth's lower back as the other was looking at some hats in some random store. It made him smirk that he got the others attention immediately as Seth turned to look at him.
'Yea I could eat. What do you feel like?'
They ended up in a steak house place with a private booth for the two of them. Seth ordered red wine to go with the steak and Roman snorted. He certainly wasn't a wine type of guy but Seth convinced him it would be good and he went with it. The food was great quality and the wine made their mood more relaxed. Roman soon feeling Seth's feet rub at his ankles under the table playfully. After their food they decided to move to the bar area in the restaurant, as it was pretty quiet and Roman had decided it was his turn to educate Seth on some good whiskey after all that wine.
Ordering them two double laphroaig's, his neat and Seth wanted his with some ice, and Seth soon started being even more talkative than he usually was. Roman had forgotten that Seth's alcohol tolerance wasn't that good and perhaps mixing spirits wasn't the best idea. But Seth seemed to be enjoying the drink and himself so Roman wasn't about to complain.
They talked about a lot of random things. A lot of work talk was always involved because it was such a part of their lives. Talk about sports on tv. Seth got started about his music and at one point did his previous crazy intro dance which made Roman burst out laughing, especially at the expression of the old bar tender in the restaurant. He loved how carefree Seth was and it was infectious. After another few drinks the pair headed back to their hotel again as it was getting late.
Upon returning, roman suddenly noticed Seth staring at his crumpled bed for a bit longer than usual and before he could ask what was wrong, the other turned to him, all up in his face and said, 'What did you do with her? The girl that reminded you of me?' He was so close Roman could feel his warm breath on his skin and he pried his eyes away from the others mouth to look him in the eye instead. 'Seth…' placing a hand on the others elbow lightly, Roman shook his head. 'You know what we did, come on..' he said softly, his deep voice cutting through the silence.
The other looked away for a long moment, making Roman feel nearly desperate about what to do. Was he upset? The Samoan couldn't exactly tell. The younger one then placed both hands on Romans chest, leaning closer and giving him a look Roman hadn't seen before. It was somewhat pleading and awkward and it took Roman a moment before he realised what was happening.
'Rome..' Seth just muttered, his eyes flickering from his lips to looks at his grey eyes. Roman felt a rush of panic he hadn't felt since high school. It was weird being so up close to a male friend. Seth was handsome, he'd always thought that. But to be up close to him, to see his beard and jaw line, just everything so distinctly male. He thought it might scare him out of this crush or whatever it was, but it didn't. Even though it was weird and it made him want to awkwardly laugh at the strange situation, a feeling deeper inside of him only wanted Seth more. Just as he felt Seth hesitate and pull away ever so slightly, he grabbed the other by the arm with one hand, the other wrapping around his waist as he pulled him close without another thought, pressing their mouths together in a rushed kiss. The feeling of Seth's beard against his skin was alien, but not uncomfortable. Everything about being so close the other man was new, as he was used to touching a woman's shape and body in this situation. But even though the kiss was a bit hesitant and clumsy, neither wanted to stop. He tasted the smokey whiskey on Seth's tongue and only then realised they had deepened the kiss. Roman letting out a low purr pulling Seth against him tighter. The sexual tension and underlying want suddenly all pouring out of him and taking over, drowning out the alarm bells going off in his brain.