Author's note: Monika? In MY house? Okay, I'll admit it, I usually find these fics to be super ridiculous, but they're my guilty pleasure. There are a few out there that I really do genuinely enjoy. Although a majority of them, obviously, are written from a boy's perspective. So, I thought I'd get these feelings off my chest and write my own little bit of fluff— for all the girls who fell in love with Monika, including myself. So yeah, this is a Monika/Female Reader fanfic! If you're a guy, I hope this doesn't discourage you from reading; although I did want to write this for other women who want to see themselves in a fic like this, for the most part I keep it pretty neutral. It's only obvious in some places that the character is a woman. Monika doesn't refer to the main character by name, so please feel free to enjoy this as if the character is you, regardless of gender haha. I tried to stay vague with the main character, but her thoughts come from a very real place, so I'm hoping that, by being open, other people that like Monika can relate to her. So yeah! Just wrote this for fun. Now that it's out of my brain I feel better. :)

Edit: I finally made some fanart of Monika, so I updated the story's cover photo! If you want to see the full image, just check out one of the art sites I have listed on my profile. You can find it there.

I finished—well, almost finished—Doki Doki Literature Club about a month ago. I found that I couldn't bring myself to delete Monika's character file, so now, every day, I would be greeted by Monika in her dimly lit classroom when I would go to my computer to work. Keeping the game open, and occasionally pulling the window up to glance at her. It was comforting.

The game originally caught my eye when I first saw the promotional art; four cute girls posed femininely on the game's Steam page. The girl in the very front reaching her hand out towards me, inviting me to spend time with the four of them. This game, like most other dating sims, didn't offer the player the option to play as a girl. But as long as I got to see some cute girls, I didn't mind being referred to as "he" for the duration of my time with them. Despite dressing itself up as the usual eye candy that I was used to indulging in, the game was nothing like I had seen before. It captivated me. She captivated me.

Monika.

At first I found her omnipotence kind of off putting, but after going through every bit and every piece of the game; all of her dialogue and all of her secrets, I found that I had grown very fond of the young woman. I would even go as far to say that I was in love her. She was just a normal girl who didn't have anyone. I felt as though I could empathize with her; even though I'm positive that my own situation would never be as bad hers.

I would never say I condone her actions, but I understood where they came from. It was all just a game. And at the end of the day, I knew she, too, was just another piece of the game; programmed to act as if she were real. The moment her dialogue began to loop in her classroom, I felt my heart sink. She wasn't real. But, after finding that the only way to finish the game was to delete her, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

So now, every day, just like she wanted me to, I would spend time with Monika. Part of me felt bad for keeping her this way. But I was selfish. I kept her with me. I didn't want to let her go. I was scared to let her go. "Were you that lonely?" I guess I was.

It was a cold February morning when I wandered down the stairs, heading straight to my computer, a lot of work ahead of me. I suddenly feel fully awake and aware when I noticed my desk. My stomach sank as I stood there, motionless. Monitor and keyboard toppled over, my chair tipped backwards. What happened? Did someone break in? It looks as if everything is still here, it's just a complete mess.

I suddenly hear something stirring from underneath the desk. Whatever it is, it's obscured by the chair. My breathing becomes ragged, but I work up the courage to slowly approach the desk. Peering over the chair, my eyes widen.

Laying there on the floor, curled on her side, is a young woman that I recognize. She groans, picking herself up. Her eyes open slowly, glancing around until she notices me standing over her. At first, her eyes are fearful. But after staring at me for a moment, her face changes. She looks... ecstatic.

Picking herself up, she throws her arms around me. I can't hold her, so the two of us fall backward onto the floor. I gasp sharply as we hit the ground.

"It really is you! I'm—oh, god, I'm sorry! I just can't believe it! I'm—" the young woman is talking a mile a minute. She reaches out and touches my face. She's smiling, her eyes are brimming with tears. She continues talking, but all I see is her. My heart is pounding.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry, oh my god,"

I snap out of it as she begins to move off of me, sitting up on her knees by my side. She laughs.

"I'm so happy to see you."

Still staring at her, I sit up. I'm at a loss for words. She laughs again, wiping the tears from her eyes. My mouth feels dry.

"I'm sorry for scaring you like that. I just can't believe it..." For the first time since she pounced on me, she looks away from my face, and glances around the room.

"I... I don't—d-don't unders—understand... how... how did you..." I finally manage to say something. Monika's eyes come back to me the moment I start speaking. The way she's smiling at me makes me feel lightheaded.

"I don't know how I got here either, but," she replies, able to understand what I'm getting at, "I'm just so happy to be here with you." Her hand reaches out and grabs my own. She cups my hand with hers, and she pulls me closer to her. She's unbearably excited, but somehow she manages to look so gentle and calm. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" She asks softly, looking up at me for a response.

All I can do is shake my head.

I eventually manage to pull myself together before showing Monika over to the couch. She's as clumsy as I am as she gets up. It's really cute. We sit there quietly for a few minutes, staring at each other intently.

"Can I, um..." Monika started, fiddling with a strand of hair as her eyes flicker away from me. "Listen... to your heartbeat?" She glances back up, a sheepish smile on her face.

That's right. I almost forgot how important this was to her. I never got to experience Monika's song for myself, but thanks to the internet I was already well aware of it. My heartbeat. That steady sound that told me that I was alive. That I was real. Monika wanted to hear it. She wanted it to tell her that I was really here, with her.

I could feel my face heat up. After sitting in silence for a few seconds, Monika pipes up softly.

"It—it's okay if you don't want me to, I understand that it's—"

"No! No, Monika, I, uh..."

Monika's sad smile suddenly brightens when I called her by name. She waits for me to continue my thought; her face is so sincere. This look embarrasses me so badly, I have to look away to continue speaking.

"I...I'm— I don't mind. It's okay."

I can feel my heart pounding in my ears now. It'll be embarrassing having her listen to my heartbeat when it's beating so quickly, but I don't want to deny her of this. It's glaringly obvious that, while she's excited to be here, part of her is afraid. She's afraid that this isn't real. Although I was dazed, I did notice that she did say "I can't believe it" a good amount of times when she first woke up. I have to reassure her that this, right now, is real. She's here, and she's with me.

I work up the courage to meet her eyes once more, offering her a smile; trying to reassure her. There's a lingering moment of silence between us as she beams in response. We hold each other's stares for another few seconds before she, almost too excitedly, falls into me. Without meaning to, I make an awkward noise as I try to keep the two of us from tumbling backwards again. Her head and her hands, fingers curled, were now resting squarely on my breast, ear pressed against the left side of my chest. Not sure what to do with my hands, I awkwardly place them slightly behind me, flat on the couch. I puff out my chest, as if that would help her hear any better.

I'm stiff, trying hard to concentrate on keeping my awkward pose as she lays there dreamily, looking as if she could fall asleep right there on my chest. It's quiet now, and I find myself glancing around the room awkwardly, trying not to stare at the girl on top of me. It feels like time is standing still. I'm not sure how long we stay like this, but I'm suddenly brought back from my thoughts when I hear Monika draw a shaky breath. I quickly look down to find her crying.

"Ah—"

My back, which was arched not even a moment ago, was now hunched over her. In the same motion I moved my hands so they were hovering slightly above her, wanting to reach out and comfort her, but still too timid to do so.

"Monika..."

She turns her head forward, facing my chest, with a smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm just—" she inhales sharply "—I just can't believe it. You're real. You're here, and you're real."

She quietly says the phrase "you're real" a few more times, more to herself than to me, as she buries her face in my chest, trying to stifle her sobs. My timid disposition is thankfully overpowered by the need to comfort her. Without thinking my arms wrap around her and pull her closer. She continues her crying into the crook of my neck. It feels as if my body is on fire. Being this close to someone in such a vulnerable moment is strange to me. But this is how you comfort someone you love, right? I have to power through it for her.

We sit there for some time while I try my best to console her; rubbing her back and affectionately whispering "it's okay" over and over again. Monika eventually pulls herself up, rubbing her eyes and steadying her breaths. She's still leaning on me. I gently push away from her so I can make eye contact.

"How are you feeling?"

She smiles at me. She's a mess, but she still manages to make my heart race just by glancing in my direction.

"A lot better, thank you." Her soft smile slowly turns into a grin. She laughs quietly to herself. "You're so warm. I kind of don't want to get up."

She shifts her weight back into me, closing the gap I had put between us just a moment ago. I swallow hard.

"A-are you hungry? I'll make us some lunch. You can go wash up—uh, I don't exactly have a lot of... cute clothes, but—" I quickly pull myself away from her and hop off of the couch. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Monika slump over where I had just been before sitting back up. The look on her face... is she pouting? "—but um... ah, I have plenty of clothes for you to wear until we go get you your own. We can do that tomorrow."

Whatever emotion Monika was just feeling, it was gone when I turned back to face her. Her eyes were now wide with excitement.

"You... you're going to get me my own clothes?"

"Yeah, of course," I recall her bit dialogue in the classroom concerning her school uniform. "I mean, I can't ask you to wear your uniform all the time, can I?" I chuckle awkwardly. Her smile is the last thing I see before she leaps off of the couch, throwing her arms around my neck. I stumble but I manage to catch myself, and her, wrapping my arms around her middle in return. I can hear her trying to suppress the urge to cry again.

"Thank you, so much... I can't believe that I thought that you hated me."

I didn't hate her, at all. In fact, I loved her. I was in love with this girl from a video game. Oh, god, there's really something wrong with me, isn't there? But she was here now, so I suppose that made it okay, right? I try to put my feelings into a cohesive sentence.

"I-I don't hate you. I— uh, I actually, really... l-like you, Monika."

I couldn't say love. My mouth couldn't form the word. Still, this seemed to please her.

"How did I get so lucky?" She squeezes me, nuzzling her face into my neck. I feel like I should be the one saying that.

I give Monika a change of clothes and show her to the bathroom. I leave her to it, but not before she makes a passing comment about me washing her clothes as she hands them to me neatly folded from behind the door. I quickly snatch the clothes from her and close the door as retreats into the bathroom. I can hear her laughing behind the door; and something about how I'm cute when I'm embarrassed. Because of Monika's comment I quickly toss her clothes into the wash without even glancing at the machine, then move on to the kitchen.

Now that she's here, I'll have to rethink how I'm living. Of course, we hadn't really talked about it yet, but it feels as if we both know that we're stuck with each other now. Not that I mind. It might be a lot to think about, but I suddenly find myself smiling. Living alone was okay, but now I had someone I loved here with me. That was exciting. I start thinking about the little things; the foods we can make, the movies we can watch. I'm sure I have a goofy grin on my face. I pull myself together and start preparing something... anything. I remember that Monika mentioned she was a vegetarian. It's so cold out, so I settle on making some vegetable soup. She might like that, right?

After fumbling around trying to find a recipe online that I could actually reproduce with the limited ingredients I had, I manage to get some soup in the pot. Taking it out to the living room, I set the bowls down on the coffee table and wait for Monika to finish up. It doesn't take her too long; soon after I sat down on the couch, she comes bounding down the stairs in a big pullover hoodie and sweat pants, her bow neatly tying her hair back.

"You said you didn't have any cute clothes," Monika swings her hips from side to side, "but I think that your clothes are super cute. They definitely look cute on you~"

Oh, god, I can practically hear the damn tilde in her voice. Most of my clothes were definitely more for comfort rather than style, so it feels like Monika said this just because she's convinced that I'm cute... oh, god, she thinks I'm cute. Monika covers her smile with an oversized sleeve when she sees my face flush. I can tell she's laughing. It's not at me, obviously, but not being used to this kind of teasing makes me feel as if she is. I knew that if I said this to her she would never flirt with me again. Deep down I was enjoying it, and knew I would, eventually, grow comfortable enough with her to reciprocate these gestures.

"Ah, I think that they look really c-cute on you, t-too!"

God, I sound stupid stuttering like that. Monika seems to like this, though. She grins before plopping into the couch uncomfortably close to me. I try to shift my weight, but she scooches closer.

"You're such a sweetheart."

Her words are like honey. She settles into the couch, pressing into my shoulder with her own. How can she be so comfortable with me? Being this close to someone you have feelings for is almost unbearable. It was one thing to imagine being with her, but actually being with her was so intimidating. Is this how Yuri felt? I wouldn't dare ask Monika. I breathe deeply.

"Here, uh, I made us some soup—" I use this as an excuse to get up, retrieving the soup from the coffee table. Handing her a bowl, she picks up the spoon and stares at it in awe. "I'm sorry that this is your first meal here. I wasn't, um, expecting a guest today."

She looks up at me, eyebrows furrowed as if I had just insulted her. "Don't you say that!" She waves her spoon at me. I try not to laugh as I sit back down beside her, holding my own bowl. "I'll have you know that I'm really excited that my first meal in this reality was made by my wonderful girlfriend." She coos when saying that last bit. I'm already in the middle of eating, and I try not to choke when hearing her say this.

"I made it with love." I say after I've cleared my throat. Her eyes light up, her smile making me shrink back in embarrassment. The way she looks at me... I don't feel like I deserved to be looked at this way. I suppose going from no one looking at you like this, to suddenly having someone you love looking at you this way every time she glances in your direction can be overwhelming. At least it was for me. It's a look of unconditional love and affection, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she'd feel this way about me.

"I love you." She says it so matter-of-factly. My heart is caught in my throat. I try to say something, but I can't. She lets me off the hook this time though, smiling at me before focusing on her food. After trying a spoonful, her eyes light up again.

"Is it okay?"

"It's so good!" Suddenly she's eating faster than I was. I try to hold back my laughter, but I can't help it. She's adorable. We quietly eat our food, enjoying each other's company.

After finishing our food, we find ourselves on the couch again. Monika sighs, content and full. Much like before, she tries to sneak close to me, leaning into me again. I have to be confident. Fake it 'til you make it. I remember Monika saying something similar in regard to confidence. It seemed like I agreed with her often when she would cycle through her conversations. And now she's here, with me, free to talk to me as much as she'd like.

I finally find the confidence to lean back into her. She hums happily, and we both enjoy the moment. She eventually looks to my hands, which were kept on my lap, and places her own hand on top of mine. My face ignites.

"Monika," I started "you really don't mind that I'm, uh, ya know... a girl?"

She stares at me quizzically.

"Of course I don't," she holds my gaze, her hands idly fiddling with my own, "Why would I mind? I fell in love with you."

She fell in love with me.

"Uh, I mean," I turn to face her, glancing down at our hands before cautiously taking her hand in mine, "you kept calling me your boyfriend, so I wasn't sure. I guess I assumed you were..." My voice trailed off, focusing on our hands. I gently stroked the back of her hand with my thumb.

I would never tell her, but the number of times Monika referred to me as her "boyfriend" while scrolling through her end game text bothered me. Normally I didn't mind when playing other dating sims. Of course, it's only natural to assume that a boy would play a game about cute girls, but there was something about her.

"Well," she looks away from me, her eyes falling where mine were; staring at our hands. "I actually realized that you were a girl when I saw you, but I didn't want to make it too obvious that..." her speech slows as she suddenly feels my hands tense up. "...that I, uh..." she clears her throat "was... looking through your files... so I kept calling you my... boyfriend so you wouldn't notice... that I—"

That would explain why she knew who I was when she first saw me. Out of embarrassment, I pull my hands away and cover my face. I can see her hands try to follow mine through my fingers.

"Oh, god."

"I'm so, so sorry—" she speaks softly, "I'm sorry for looking through your stuff. I'm sorry, I was... I was being selfish."

My face is on fire. The things she combed through; all the files, all the images, all the words, all of me. I'm lightheaded trying to think of all the things she could have seen. This is what I get for going through her game files. Every major event, I would go back and look for another note; another desperate diary entry telling me how she felt, and what she was going through. Of course, I thought it was just a game, but now that I'm thinking about how I picked through her brain, I realize this is what I deserve.

"I'm sorry," Monika sounds as if she's on the verge of tears. Breaking out of my thoughts, I look back up to her. She's leaning over, hands poised and ready to pull me into a hug.

"Monika—" I pull myself closer to her, wrapping my arms around her, pinning her hands against her chest. "it's okay. It's really, really okay." This is the second time today that she's managed to help me overcome my anxiety. She takes a shallow breath, pulling her arms out from between us and wrapping them around me, before regaining her composure.

"You're not mad?"

"No, I'm not. I'm... I'm just embarrassed." I smile. "You were curious... I would have done it too."

I should have said did.

"I... I was. I wanted to know who you were. I knew you were there, but," she takes another shaky breath, "I couldn't see you. I couldn't hear you. Once I managed to get your real name, I just..." her arms tighten around me. "I just couldn't help myself."

We're silent for a minute. I can hear her sniffle quietly. She catches her breath before pulling away and giggling.

"The first time I saw a picture of you, I felt so lucky," she timidly looks away, "I fell in love with such a kind and pretty girl."

My smile twists awkwardly and my face turns an even deeper shade of red. She thought I was pretty? This girl was going to be the death of me, and I was not about to joke about that in front of her. I pull her back into the hug.

"I, uh, I... don't feel bad about looking through my stuff, M-Monika. I... might have looked at some of your files, too..."

I can see her face turning red out of the corner of my eye.

"You... you saw those, huh?" she laughs awkwardly, hugging me tighter, "That's okay... I saw yours, you saw mine."

I lean the side of my head into hers. Her hair is getting everywhere, but I like it like this. Even if I am awkward and overly nervous, deep down I feel like being this close to her feels natural.

"You still like me even after... seeing all that stuff on my computer?" I ask timidly.

"Of course I do. I already told you, I love you no matter what."

"I-I'm sorry for looking at your files."

"It's okay. You thought it was just part of the game, right?" She asks calmly. It sends a chill down my spine.

"I know now that it wasn't just a game. That you weren't just another part of the game. But it's okay now. You... you're here with me now, so it'll be okay. Everything's okay now."

I can't see her face, but I can feel her body relax as she sighs. It feels like she's relieved being reminded that she's here.

"I'm so glad that I'm here with you."

For the rest of the afternoon we mull about, sitting together on the couch and having little conversations here and there. I turn on the television and we watch for a while. She talks about the things we can do together, and I smile at all of her suggestions. At one point, she timidly asks if it's okay that she's staying here with me. We both wanted the same thing, but I suppose she felt like it would be rude if she didn't ask. I tell her that I wouldn't want her anywhere else. She tells me I'm the best girlfriend ever. I try to keep my heart from bursting out of my chest. It's getting dark now, and I haven't even started on the work I need to do today. This is more important though. She's more important. I start thinking about sleeping arrangements.

"Um, I guess tonight you can have my bed." I say as I begin to get up. "I haven't had the opportunity to make it yet, so I'll—"

"Wait," Monika grabs my hand, stopping me, "you mean we aren't sleeping together?"

Oh, god. I understand what she means, but I can't help but take it the wrong way. I look away from her, my face flushing. I open my mouth to say something, but I can't find the right words. Picking up on my reaction, she quickly backtracks.

"Oh!" She lets go of my hand. "Sorry— I should have figured you wouldn't be comfortable sharing a bed yet."

It's embarrassing how timid I am.

"I mean, we did start dating only recently... I get that you might not be ready for that yet— even though, you know, we'd just be sleeping in the same bed..." Monika fumbles to say the right words, trying to find a way to justify my feelings.

I know she wants me to feel comfortable, and I'm sure she understands where she's coming from, but... I can tell that she's still afraid. Still afraid that this isn't real. I need to put her mind at ease.

"Monika, are you... are you afraid that, when you wake up, you won't... be here?" I turn to look at her.

Almost immediately she breaks eye contact, turning her head to the side and glancing at the floor. She bites her lip.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying really hard to convince myself that this isn't just a dream. I don't want to— I don't know, I guess I just want to be near you. Sorry for being weird—"

Monika barely finishes her thought before I blurt out.

"If sharing my bed would make you feel better," I breath in, "I... I'll sleep with you— sleep next to you! Uh."

She glances back up at me with a fond expression. I look away, my face growing hotter. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Monika put a hand over her mouth, trying to contain her laughter.

"You're not being weird. I... I understand." I say looking at the floor.

"Are you sure? Please don't force yourself, okay?" She asks delicately, leaning over so I could see her face. I look back up to meet her gaze.

"No, this is what I want. I promise."

She blinks, probably surprised at how firm I suddenly sounded. In all honesty, it was what I really wanted. But, like most things in my life, it was a lot easier to imagine it rather than experience it. I'm a lot braver in my own head.

We both take some time preparing for bed, but eventually we make our way to my room. Monika lays down, patting the empty space next to her as she pulls the comforter over herself. I turn off the light and nervously crawl in beside her, hiding myself underneath the comforter. I peek out, my eyes adjusting to the darkness, and focus on her face. She's looking back at me, an affectionate expression on her face. She looks so happy. I feel so happy.

Finally it happens. My feelings catch up with me. Tears are suddenly falling down my face as I lay there on my side, staring at her. I try to rub my eyes but it's too late, Monika, despite being in the dark, can make out the tears rolling down my cheek.

"What's wrong?" She pulls herself closer to me, extending her hand and using her sleeve to wipe away my tears.

"It's nothing, I'm—" I chuckle, trying to catch my breath, "—I'm just so happy that you're here with me."

Her concerned expression suddenly softens. She looks like she's going to cry now too.

"I... I love you, Monika."