Despite him being the greatest warlock to ever live, Gaius always felt the need to protect Merlin. Perhaps it was just the fatherly duty he felt towards him, or his affection for the boy- he just couldn't help wanting to keep him from anything that would hurt him. But Gaius couldn't protect Merlin for what was about to come, and it broke his heart.
He supposed he should've told him the moment he received the news, he just wanted to give him a few more hours of joy. When Gaius heard the door open and the cheerful voice of Merlin call that he was home, a sigh escaped his lips and he prepared to break the news. Merlin's footsteps came closer, he entered the room and sat at the table, taking off his jacket and shoes. He was distracted as usual, not glancing towards Gaius, "...and Arthur didn't listen to me, (like usual), so I had to cover up his tracks the entire way! He thinks he's this great ranger-ha! He'd be tracked down effortlessly if it wasn't for me. And then-" he looked up to meet Gaius' eyes, his eyes moving to the letter in Gaius' hand. "W-what's wrong, Gaius? And what is that?"
Gaius pursed his lips. His hands shook as he gave the previously opened letter to Merlin, "I'm so sorry, Merlin." As the boy's eyes quickly scanned the letter, he said nothing. "Merlin, I-"
"No, no..." he whimpered, shaking his head. "She can't be, she's not-" he couldn't finish, his eyes welled up with tears. Merlin angrily wiped away the moisture with his sleeve. "I'm going. I'm going to her grave. To... to say goodbye."
"Of course," he kindly assured, "should I come with you?" Gaius offered.
"No, I- I need to go alone. Do this by myself."
"I understand, Merlin. Just...don't let yourself think you have to grieve alone. Because you don't. She wasn't just your mother- she was my sister."
Merlin's eyes grew wide, "I didn't... I'm sorry, Gaius, I didn't even think about that. You're hurting too."
"It's alright, m'boy. When you're grieving it's hard to think of anyone but yourself. I understand."
"I'm going to pack, I'll have to leave early in the morning. Ealdor is long ride, let alone a walk."
"Why don't you take a horse?" Gaius asked.
"And have Arthur questioning why I'm taking a horse to run an errand for you? No thanks!"
"And why can't you tell him the truth?" Gaius raised an eyebrow, questioning Merlin.
"Arthur wouldn't understand." He quickly dismissed.
"Why would Arthur understand anything about losing a parent, hmm?" Gains sarcastically quipped. "Why really don't you want to tell him?" Merlin sighed, and mumbled something incoherent. "What was that?"
"I'm tired of being weak." He swallowed, "Tired of asking things of him. I don't want to cry and show him how weak I am. I'm Emrys for God's sake! And he thinks I'm just a coward."
"So this is a matter of pride?" Gains scoffed.
"No! No, it's a matter of me doing things for myself. Which means I need to get packing." Merlin left to his room, getting all of the things for his journey ready. He tried to sleep, and overall got less than two hours. He'd regret it on the road, but there wasn't anything to do about it. The next morning he set for the long walk to Ealdor.