Chapter One: There's no one here
Her sister's been gone for three years now. No one seems to remember her being there when Cocoon was crystallized and everyone was saved, not even Snow, who actually received his sister-in-law's blessing, seems to recall that actually happening. Serah had never felt so alone as she did in the years that followed the end of life on Cocoon and the construction of settlements on Pulse. Pretty much everyone just assumed that her remembering things incorrectly was yet another side-effect of being made a l'Cie and spending time in a crystal slumber, same as still being able to somewhat use magic after awakening.
Except that the others had been in the same situation as her. Snow, Hope, Sazh, even Dajh, they had all been made l'Cie and eventually turned to crystal, although, to be fair, only Dajh spent nearly as much time as her in crystal stasis. Nevertheless, not one of them had any recollection of Lightning being alive after the unleashing of Ragnarok. She tried for God knows how long to reason with her friends, to explain how her memories couldn't have been wrong, how they simply couldn't be just another side-effect of being a fal'Cie pawn, how Lightning had seem to overcome her issues with her wedding, how she even said congratulations to them. But try as she might, no one shared her memories, and time was moving forward, things needed to be done, more urgent matters called for their attention, and soon everyone ended up not having time nor energy to pay attention to Serah's reasoning and sorrow. They needed to find a new place to live, build houses from scratch, take care of provisions, watch over the children, establish some sort of order now that the fal'Cie rule had come to an end. There was no time to wallow on the past, no time for sadness or doubt, and since Serah couldn't bear being a burden to anyone, she soon decided to keep her pain and musings to herself and help on the construction of their brand new home.
The first year after the fall had obviously been the hardest and longest. Everything was new, the land, the weather which they couldn't control anymore, the monsters that would show up every single day in the beginning to threaten them and ruin a house or two, and even the people. You can't expect to survive the destruction of your civilization and remain the same person inside. People were scared in the beginning, they had to learn how to fend for themselves, how to depend on each other and not on godly deities. Some were even scared of the former l'Cies, still oblivious to the whole truth behind the events that brought about the destruction of their planet.
There were many trials to be overcome, many skills to be learned, and the l'Cie group eventually disbanded. Sazh and Dajh headed for the main town that was being built on the base of the crystal pillar. Hope had decided to remain with Snow, Serah and the rest of the NORA gang at first, helping out at New Bodhun. He was great with science and numbers, a true "geek", as Snow had affectionately called him, and eventually, encouraged by nearly everyone, he decided to move to the main town as well, seeing as someone like him would be extremely valuable in the construction of their new society.
After the first year, time seemed to speed up, and things were beginning to look up again. They opened a new cafe where Lebreau was obviously the head chef, cooking the same old NORA special that everyone loved. Snow and Gadot were in charge of security, Maqui was the one taking care of the machinery and Yuj, being your regular jack of all trades, would offer help wherever it was needed. Back on Cocoon, Serah was supposed to get married and go to university in Eden, it was as if her whole future had already been planned and decided for her, but after everything that's happened, for the first time in her life, she found herself lost, without the slightest idea of what she should actually do. It was during one of their weekly meetings that the rest of the NORA members suggested that she took up teaching. "You've always been great with children, and now that the major issues have been taken care of, they need to pick up their studies where they've left off." explained Lebreau, and for a moment Serah was surprised to hear those words. She had never realized she had a knack for dealing with children, but apparently everyone seemed to think so. When she asked for a reason, they simply said that it's because she's always seemed so sweet and caring. That's always been the way everyone perceived her, as a sweet, gentle girl, almost angelic. Back then she was still oblivious as to why that perception seemed to bother her, but she agreed to take responsibility for the children's education nonetheless. She was undeniably good with them, and even though sometimes she would have to deal with the ever annoying "meanie miss Farron" chanting, she actually ended up loving taking care of them.
So many issues had demanded their attention in the past years that the idea of getting married seemed to have completely vanished from Snow's mind. He had always enjoyed being the leader, making himself useful and becoming a hero to those in need, and the perfect opportunity had presented itself when Cocoon had ended. For Serah, however, that wasn't the case. Sure, she had been worried about their situation and the future of humanity, and for a while the idea of marriage had to be postponed. But now it's been nearly three years, everyone was doing fine, they had a new place to call home and people seemed to have accepted their new lifestyle, so what was standing in the way? She couldn't help but wonder, and the question was a persistent one, presenting itself daily, especially during dinner time, when every NORA member would gather together at their house to share a meal. Snow would always sit at the head of the table and ramble on and on about the major events that happened that day during one of his and Gadot's adventures. They always sat close to each other, and sometimes they would exchange looks and smiles while he put his hand on hers, but that was all.
Then the whole gang would help clean things up, talk some more and eventually everyone would go to bed. For some reason, Snow and her slept in separate rooms, despite having actually slept together several times back when they lived in Cocoon. At the beginning she shared the smaller bedroom of the house with Lebreau, whereas the four guys got the bigger one for themselves, but she had always assumed that would be temporary, that eventually Snow and her would get married and move to their own little house. That, of course, never happened.
Every morning before work they would talk over breakfast. Snow usually left earlier, so their conversations were often rushed, with him getting off his chair saying "well, duty calls", kissing her on the forehead and yelling at Gadot for taking too long to get ready.
Everything seemed fine on the outside, and yet nothing really was. People seemed to be doing okay, to be enjoying their new lives, and a small part of her was actually happy that things turned out well for everyone. But most of the time Serah felt confused and alone, constantly asking herself how she could keep on living this lie, how she could bring herself to carry on when her sister wasn't there, especially after all that Lightning had done for her. It wouldn't take long for the guilt to show its ugly face too, making her see herself as a horrible selfish person. She knew she should be thankful that she had survived, that they all had been granted a miracle and a second chance at life, and that was precisely why she was always seen smiling, why she was always kind and sweet to everyone. She had long given up on bothering everyone else with her problems, it seemed to be easier that way, seemed to be the mature thing to do.
Eventually Snow must've picked up on what was going on inside her mind, for one day, out of the blue, he called her out to the pier they all had built nearly three years ago, just like the original one they had in Bodhum.
"I know you've been miserable, and I know you've been trying to hide it for quite a while now." he said, looking her straight in the eyes. He was still wearing his trademark bandana, and the breeze coming from the sea played softly with the loose strands of his hair.
"Yes, and you probably already know why I feel that way, and you know there really isn't anything that can be done about it. Things have finally begun to look up again, I don't want to ruin what we've worked so hard to build."
"You've always been like that, Serah, always putting everyone else's needs before your very own, and I admire that in you, truly, I do. But if you keep that up for too long, especially under the current circumstances, you'll break eventually." His eyes were full of concern, and she knew he spoke the truth. She knew how dangerous it could be to suppress your feelings for too long. Yet she couldn't bring herself to let everyone know that she still hadn't given up on Lightning, that she still believed her sister was alive somewhere.
"I'll be fine. I've got you and everyone else by my side. There's nothing to worry about." She forced a smile, a bright one at that. They were her own trademark, though since the fall of Cocoon, most of them had been fake. She had become so good at faking smiles that no one could tell the real from the fake ones, not even her fiancé.
"I know you will, that's why I've come to talk to you. I'm leaving, Serah." Well, as professional as she might be, no smile could've survived that. Her eyes widened.
"Excuse me?" Leaving to do what, exactly? Leaving on another hunting mission with Gadot and the boys? Leaving the town for a few days? Leaving her for good?
"I'm leaving to try to find Lightning." he quickly explained, seeing her shocked expression.
"Lightning? But isn't she in the crystal pillar with Fang and Vanille? You and everyone else kept telling me that for the past three years." Anger was beginning to stir inside her. What is this all of a sudden? Three years telling her to accept her sister's "death", and now he's decided to actually believe her?
"Yes, but I can't bear to see you like miserable like that. I have to do something to fix it, to make you happy again. Besides, I can't seem to be able to shake the feeling that something about this whole story stinks. I want to get to the bottom of this, and bring Lightning back safe and sound to you."
"All right, I'm going with you then."
"I'm sorry Serah, but there's no way I'm letting you risk your life like that. Pulse is still a dangerous place outside the settlements, you weren't with us when we explored it as l'Cie. There are vicious beasts pretty much everywhere. I couldn't bear to lose you". Ah nice. The famous "you weren't with us so you don't know what it's like" argument. She had heard her fair share of those in the three years that followed his adventure with Lightning and the others. Sure, she didn't know what the rest of Gran Pulse was like, but she could still take care of herself. Didn't she help in the building of their own town? Didn't she help everyone find and distribute provisions? Hadn't she already proved her usefulness, if not to everyone else, at least to her own fiancé? Snow went on.
"No, you stay here and watch over everyone. Be a leader in my place and keep them in line, will you?" he joked. "Besides, the children would miss you, too. You're doing so well with them, I can tell they practically adore you". His hands reached for the back of his neck and he took his engagement necklace and placed it in her hands. Now she was really confused.
"Here, you hold on to this for a while. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I lost it. I promise I'll be back as soon as possible. Gadot and the others are helping me pack. I'm leaving tonight." he hugged her tight, the way he always used to. Tears were beginning to come forth, and her vision was blurred, but she tried her hardest to control herself. She didn't want to come undone in front of him, didn't want to give him or anyone else any more reason to worry about her.
That ways six months ago.
In three years, everyone had left her. For a split second after awakening from crystal slumber, she thought she had everything. Her sister, her fiancé, her friends. Now nearly all of them left. They all went away, one way or another, to live their adventures. And she was left there, waiting. Waiting for news of Snow. Waiting for her sister to come back from wherever she was. Waiting for a visit from Hope or Sazh. But none of them ever came. The one who actually came was someone new. Someone she wasn't expecting. But in the end, he turned out to be exactly what she needed.