Her heart raced as she ran up flight and flights of stairs, her hair in her eyes and her feet hitting each step just barely. She made it up five flights before she came crashing down like a bunch of bricks
"Fuck!" Meredith screamed "Fucking dam it." Her wrist was broken, she looked at it as if it was an alien and then she smiled. A small laugh came from her dry lips as she let her head fall onto the steps. clearly in shock, not feeling any pain at all. At least not any physical pain.
"Are you ok?" an intern whispered as they walked into the stairwell. Meredith smiled at them,
"Yeah" She sighed "I'm fine, just help me to the nearest empty bed." The intern picked Meredith up and carried her over to a nearby bed
"Should I call someone?" They asked softly, sweat dripping off of them like a leaking sink...or a scared intern.
"Call Callie Torres, head of Ortho" Meredith answered as the intern raced off to follow her directions. She looked at her wrist, the pain becoming more and more real. She sighed, rubbing her eyes and letting herself lie down she let a single tear escape her empty eyes.
A few minutes passed and soon Callie was on her way, "Meredith Grey!" Callie screamed as she entered the room, slamming the door behind her. "What were you thinking, running around like a child...you're a mother, and a surgeon for god's sake why?"
Meredith turned to face Callie, her wrist throbbing. "I don't know" She laughed "I was, I needed to get away...I mean he's...whatever."
"I know Mer, he's gone and it's painful to lose someone like that but, it's been two months. You need to try and well...move on." Callie began to look at Meredith's arm, setting it without a flinch from her.
"It's not that easy"
"I know, when Arizona died I was broken...I was a terrible mother, an even worse doctor and not the best friend. Everyone understood why I was that way, and everyone helped me threw it. It's time you let everyone help you. You can't run from Amelia anymore, this is the second time you've injured yourself avoiding her. You have so many friends here that love you, you have kids who need you and well...Alex isn't the same without you but you avoid him and its heartbreaking to see you this way. Please Mer, let us help."
"I'm sorry" Meredith cried "I was with Arizona, I heard her cry for help and I watched the life leave her big blue eyes while she lied on the ground. I couldn't help her Callie. I could have helped Derek"
"I know you couldn't help her, I don't blame anyone that was there when she died, I only wish I could have been. Derek wasn't savable, nobody saw it coming Mer...nobody could have." Callie bandaged her wrist.
"It was a normal surgery, I do them daily and nobody dies. But Derek needs his Appendix out and somehow Bailey and Alex let him die on the table. I didn't say goodbye, his kids didn't say goodbye. Zola and Bailey ask me everyday where he is, when he's coming home, why he left them. Bailey asked me if daddy hated him and that's why he left, Zola cries herself to sleep and has nightmares of him dying. And this baby, in my belly will never meet her daddy...she will grow up never knowing Derek. never hearing his voice, never seeing his smile or listening to his boring stories. So I can't believe for one second that I couldn't have saved him...If I did that surgery he'd be here with me, with his family! he would see our daughter be born, he would hold her and love her. This is my fault, I'll never move on Callie, and I will never forgive Alex and Bailey for what they did to my husband."