I used to know you when we were young
You were in all my dreams
They had known each other since they were seven. Flint had asked Thad to play soccer with him and several boys on Thad's first day. He was very shy at first, but the more time they spent together, the more Thad opened up.
By the time they were nine, they had shared everything. Thad wanted to be an actor like his uncle. It had always been his dream. Flint wanted to be a dragontamer, then Batman, then an emperor, then a teacher, then a talk-show host, back to Batman, a shoeshiner and then finally an emperor again.
When they went to middle school, things started to change. Thad acted like he had when they first met, shy and closed off. He was retracting into his shell, pushing everybody out. Flint, being a year younger than Thad, thus not with him, hated it. Thad only had a few friends at his school and he wasn't close to them. Flint wished he could be with him. When that day finally came, Thad began smiling a lot more.
It was at Thad's last year in middle school when Flint began dreaming a lot more about him. Thad had always appeared occasionally in his dreams, but they were becoming a lot more romantic and awkward. Awkward because Flint didn't understand why they were happening. He didn't understand why he was feeling like this for his friend suddenly.
It wasn't until after Thad had left for high school and Flint was still stuck in middle school when their friendship started to fade. He didn't see Thad very often anymore and during his Christmas break, he stopped seeing and talking to him.
We sat together in period one
Fridays at 8:15
Flint was sent to the same school Thad was in, Dalton Academy. His parents wanted him to go to a respectable school which didn't only teach him subjects, but also behavior. They wanted him to go far in life.
They only shared one class together. It was the first period at Fridays, French II. Flint was from a French background so he got to take a test in French I right before he begun at Dalton, which gave him the permission to go straight to French II. They sat next to each other. In their first class, it was like they met each other for the first time. Thad was shy and didn't really want to talk to him. Flint saw he was insecure. He wondered why, but didn't question it. To be honest, he didn't have to. Two weeks later, Thad came out of the closet. He became less insecure, but it was clear he was struggling.
In his second year, Flint joined the Warblers. They were both now in French III and it was at the same time French II had been. He still had dreams about Thad and he wanted to be his friend again. Or more than that. He didn't completely know yet. He wasn't sure whether he liked boys or girls. He wasn't sure if he was straight, gay or bi. There was only one thing he was sure of and that was that he had feelings for Thad. Strong feelings. He wanted to hold him in his arms. He wanted to taste his lips. He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
He started spending more time with Thad. They began talking more in French III and now in the Warblers. Thad still wanted to be an actor, but he also wanted to be a singer. Flint wanted to be a professional lion tamer. Thad was now open, charismatic and no longer shy. The Warblers had taken him in and helped him grow.
Then it finally happened. They were studying for a test in French when Thad blurted out his feelings for Flint. Flint smiled widely and finally got his wish. He finally got to taste Thad's lips.
The year came and went and before they knew it, Thad was graduating. They had dated during all this time, but Thad was leaving for college. He was leaving to go live in another state far away. He was leaving Flint again.
They tried to have a long-term relationship but it was just too hard. So they broke up.
Now I see your face in the strangest places
Movies and magazines
Flint absolutely hated life without Thad. The first few weeks after they broke up, Flint didn't do anything but stay in bed. It felt meaningless and pointless. But he told himself strongly that life wasn't fair, he was just taking it so hard because Thad had been his first boyfriend, his first kiss, his first love, his first time, his first everything.
He had gotten over Thad. He had gotten his sexuality all figured out, he was bi, and he had started focusing on what he wanted to be when he grew up. He wanted to be a pilot for a while, but then he figured out you couldn't be one if you were colorblind, so that went out of the window. He had also been paying interest in other people and begun dating a girl from Crawford. But then Jeff had to come along and ruin everything.
"Thad is going to be in a motherfucking movie!" He shouted one day, waving a picture of him and some famous actor Flint didn't care for.
Flint had spent such a long time trying to get over Thad and ended up celebrating it by going to the movie he was in. He had tried talking himself out of it, but he couldn't do anything without being reminded of him. He played a rather big part in the movie and one of his scenes was included in the trailer, so Flint saw him regularly on his TV. The rest of the Warblers were all excited over knowing someone famous, so every time an interview came out with him, they always had a copy.
Thad played an young man who was singing at a bar one night when some mafia guys come in and Thad overhears them talk about a top-secret plan. Thad got caught up in the whole scenario and is the key to take down the mafia guys.
Flint would have enjoyed the movie if it hadn't been for the gut-wrenching pain he got each time Thad appeared on the screen.
He still loved him.
I saw you talking to Christopher Walken
On my TV screen
He broke up with his girlfriend few weeks later. He didn't love her like he had loved Thad. Like how he still loved Thad.
He was curled up on his couch, a blanket over his legs and ice-cream in hand when he was surfing channels one night. His parents were out so he had the place all to himself. He lazily switched between channels before freezing.
Thad.
He was talking on some show to the host with Christopher Walken sitting right next to him. Thad was on TV. Thad was talking to Christopher Walken like they were good friends. Thad was famous.
Flint cried that night.
And I will wait for you
As long as I need to
Flint realized he wasn't going to get over Thad so easily. They had been through too much together. He had held Thad's hand and told him he'd be fine right before he came out to his parents. Later that day, he held Thad as he cried into his shoulder. His parents told him he was shaming the family.
Thad helped Flint study for every test and helped him get into the Warblers. He helped him get a solo and rehearse for it. He was there when his grandma died. He was there when he broke his arm.
And if you ever get back to Hackensack
I'll be here for you
If Thad would ever return to Westerville and asked them to get back together, Flint knew he wouldn't turn him down.
Thad meant so much to Flint. He didn't want to throw it all away.
I used to work in a record store
Now I work for my dad
Scraping the paint of the hardwood floors
Hours are pretty bad
Sometimes, Thad liked to think back to those days when he worked at a record store. He was one of those kids at Dalton who weren't rich, but still had enough to afford getting into the school. His mother thought his education was very important and didn't care how much it cost her. Thad came into the store all the time, usually during the slow-hours, and they'd just sit and talk.
He quit his job when he graduated and began working in his dad's company. The economy hit his company hard and now they were close to being shut down. His parents didn't have any money anymore. His dad yelled at his mom all the time and occasionally blamed it all on Flint and his stupid school.
It wasn't long until Flint saved up all his money and got a second job. He couldn't take all the yelling anymore, so he moved out as soon as he could.
Sometimes I wonder where you are
Probably in LA
That seems to be where everybody
Else ends up these days
Flint had never lived alone before. He usually had the TV turned on or music blasting in the background, but when it was silent, he thought about Thad. He thought about what he was doing, where he was, who he was with and what his life was like.
He was crawling up on the popularity list fast. He had gotten a role in another movie and was currently working on it. He had also released a single which had sold well and was often played on the radio, especially in Ohio, his homestate.
The gossip magazines had paid him a lot of attention, especially after he began dating another guy. Flint's heart skipped a beat when he saw on the front cover of a magazine a picture of him and some other guy kissing. It still hurt.
Thad wasn't the only one who was famous. Terry, the former beatboxer of the Warblers, was working on a solo album in LA. Wes was studying there as well, sharing an apartment with Terry. They were in the most contact with Thad.
The last time he heard, Kurt and Blaine had gotten an apartment there as well.
And I will wait for you
As long as I need to
And if you ever get back to Hackensack
I'll be here for you
Flint sometimes visited the soccer field they met each other first. He sometimes took a ball with him, kicking it around. He had started doing it more frequently now since Thad's face appeared everywhere now.
He wasn't believing how hard it was getting over Thad. Did he feel the same? Did Thad ever cry himself to sleep because of how much he missed Flint? Probably not. He had a boyfriend now, even though Flint hadn't seen anything about them in the gossip media for a few months.
It was one of those nights where Flint just got enough of anything. His only escape was taking his iPod with him and a soccer ball, walking to the soccer field and kicking the ball around enough to get all the anger and frustration out. He was completely consumed in listening to his iPod and kicking the ball into the goal that he didn't see someone approaching the field
And I will wait for you
As long as I need to
And if you ever get back to Hackensack
I'll be here for you
He gave the ball an one last kick, hitting the goal, and let himself fall to the ground. He panted, his body slightly sweaty, his limbs cold due to the temperature outside. He had a jacket with him, but it lay a few feet away from him and he didn't feel like getting up. He just sat on the ground, listening to music, letting the cold slowly numbing his limbs. His eyes were closed and the song he was listening to was ending. The last note played out and then it was silent for a few seconds. During these few seconds, Flint heard footsteps. His first thought was that it was a mugger. It wasn't normal for people to approach each other this late at night to say 'hi'. His body tensed up, ready to defend himself. The footsteps stopped and Flint ripped out the headphones out of his ears, turning to face the intruder.
His heart skipped a beat, his throat closed up and he couldn't believe his eyes.
Thad stood right in front of him, a smile on his face, wearing grey skinny jeans, a black coat and a black scarf.
Neither of them did anything for a few seconds. Flint then decided to break the silence, to test it out whether he was going insane of if Thad was actually there.
"Hey." He breathed out. He mentally groaned. 'Hey'? Just a simple 'hey'? He cursed himself, thinking he could have come up with something a little better.
"Hi." Thad replied, sitting cross-legged down on the ground, facing Flint. "How have things been?"
"Not so good." Flint replied. "I can't say it's easy being broke. Not like you know how it is. Where are your paparazzi's?"
Thad laughed. "Hopefully, they don't know I'm here."
"Aw, you poor little famous man." Flint joked. Thad gently smiled at him and things went quiet between them again. It was a comfortable silence, but Flint wanted to talk to Thad. He wanted to hold onto him.
"I saw your movie." Flint said. Thad, who had hung his head, looking at the grass and picking it, turned to face Flint again.
"Yeah?"
"You were great."
"Thanks."
"Speaking of movies, aren't you supposed to be working on one right now?"
"I've got the week off, I'm not doing any scenes right now."
Flint chuckled bitterly before asking "Why aren't you spending your time-off with your boyfriend?"
"I had planned to. But then I realized I need a boyfriend to do that, so..." Thad said, trailing off with a soft smile.
"What about that guy who's face you were sucking on that magazine cover?" Flint asked.
"Dustin? Yeah, we broke up a few months ago." Thad said. A grin spread on Flint's face. "It didn't really work out."
"I'm sorry." Flint said, still grinning.
"Yeah, right! You don't look like you are." Thad said, laughing. Flint smiled. It had been a long time since he had smiled this much. It had also been a long time since he had heard that laughter. "How's your love-life, Wilson?"
"Oh, it's going great." Flint said with mock-enthusiasm tone. "I mean, just take a look at all of those people, waiting in lines for me to love them." He said, stretching out his arms, pointing at various places of the field.
"Wow, some of these people are very attractive." Thad played along. "Hey, is that Andrew Garfield?"
"Yeah, he's been begging for my date for a few weeks now."
"Wow, so many famous people here, throwing themselves at you. How are you ever going to pick?"
"Well, there's this one guy. He's really attractive, talented and he's famous. He's actually sitting right here." He said, pointing at Thad.
"Are you sure?" Thad said skeptically. "I mean, you could do a lot better."
"Really? You sure?"
"No, I was lying." Thad said and Flint laughed. Things went silent once more and Thad began picking at the grass again.
"Do you..." Thad began, still not facing Flint. "Do you ever think about... us? And-and, y'know, what we used to have."
"All the time." Flint said honestly. "It's actually the only thing that has been on my mind since we broke up. I actually thought I had gotten over you at one point, but then you had to go and be all succesful and star in a movie. Then it was like 'Oh, there's the guy I thought I had gotten over but I realize now I'm still madly in love with' every time I saw you in the trailer, or in the movie, or on those stupid talk-shows."
"I am very sorry for being successful." Thad said with a joking tone in his voice. Flint laughed and Thad raised his head to face Flint. "You know what's weird?"
"What?"
"I can't get over you either. It's not as much rubbed in my face that we're not together, but y'know... Sometimes I just wonder what would have happened if we had tried harder to maintain our relationship."
"Do you think we'd still be together?" Flint asked.
"I don't know." Thad replied. "Maybe... maybe we'd have a nice little apartment. And nice, stable jobs. And a long, loving relationship. M-Maybe we'd even be married, or maybe... maybe have kids."
Flint smiled softly. "That's a nice image."
"Yeah." Thad said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
Things were silent between them for a little while. The cold wind had picked up and Flint was wishing he still had his jacket him. He wanted to get up and get it, it was probably a good idea, but he didn't want to stand up, since it could risk the nice moment we having with Thad.
"Aren't you cold?" Thad asked, wrapping his arms around himself, crossing them in front of his chest.
"Kinda." Flint said, shrugging.
"Here, let's fix that." Thad said. He stood up and crossed to where his jacket lay on the ground. He picked it up and kneeled on the ground, next to Flint. He carefully wrapped it around Flint's shoulders. His hand cupped Flint's cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb before planting a soft kiss on his lips.
"There, all better." He whispered, his hand still on Flint's cheek.
"I wouldn't be so quick to say that. It's still freezing. Want to go some place a little warmer?" Flint asked, his voice a low, soft murmur.
Thad placed another soft kiss on his lips. "Perfect." He said, smiling, and stood up, grabbing Flint's and hoisting him up.
And if you ever get back to Hackensack
I'll be here for you